Just Like Glitter

Newsflash: Mariah Carey's lost some weight. Again. This comes after she gained some weight. Again.

In an OK magazine article titled, "Mariah: How I Got Thin," we learn that Mariah has last almost 30 pounds in the last seven months. Her secret? No, no, it's not her forkful diet again. This time, Mariah's lost the weight by reportedly "eating a plain diet of soup and fish, following a strict workout plan and--most importantly--by not stressing about how her body looks."

Does that sentence even make sense? The article is full of contradictions like this--if you're not stressing about how your body looks, then why are you eating what she reports is her own words as a "bleak diet" and stating, "'I still feel like I have a ways to go, but it is what it is. . . . It does feel good when you get into a nice size three and you're like, "It feels big in here." We should all embrace who are are physically.'" Mixed messages much? And, what's a size three, anyway?

Her trainer, Patricia, says that Mariah's workouts depend on her daily intake: "'If she's serious about the food, then she doesn't have to work out that much.'" Besides sounding like an entry to exercise bulimia, isn't this statement just flat out wrong? Shouldn't a personal trainer be promoting exercise across the board?

Mariah says of Patricia: "'I love her. But sometimes, she can be very strict. If I want a little snack, I know if Patricia's in the kitchen, she's going to give me something really bleak to eat, so I don't even bother going downstairs. I just send somebody else to get something for me and sneak it up!'" Sneaking food when deprived--another pathway to an eating disorder.

"'I like flavor in my life. I don't just want chicken stock and zucchini and carrots and call it a day. Patricia will also give me fish and chicken." Well, thank goodness for that. My concern, as you can see, is that the "every woman" who reads this type of article doesn't even stop to realize how flat-out wrong it is--how the messages contained within promote (clearly) yo-yo dieting and (with a little more subtlety) eating disordered thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. And then there's Dr. Jackowski. . .

In the article, "body image expert," Dr. Edward Jackowski, comments on one of Mariah's shots: "'Her upper body and stomach look good in this photo. She can carry more weight because she's got the wide shoulders and boobs to support it.'" Um, why is a doctor using the word, "boobs"? (Plus, what's a body image expert? Wasn't that akin to my new title? ; ))

Dr. Jackowski, who earned his Doctorate in Behavioral Management from the International University for Graduate Studies, is well-known for classifying us into four body types (it's not just apples and pears, anymore, ladies). Think you're a professional? A wife? A mother? A functional member of society? Uh-uh. You're a spoon. Or an hourglass, a ruler, or cone. Now, carry on, as your intended shape. Me? Looks like I require a trip to the ice cream shoppe. ; )

Joy Nash, At it Again

Thanks to an anonymous reader who shared Ms. Nash's most recent gem. . .

Title Me This

I know it's not true. But, if you've read my intro, you know that I really don't think we all have eating disorders, but some sort of disordered eating or body image concern. Not everyone. Maybe not you. But most of us. And that was the original point.

Plus, as I've mentioned before, the title was meant to be provocative. It's also kinda catchy, I think. It's the kind of title I'd pick up at Barnes & Noble because, apparently, I DO judge a book by it's cover.

But, some of your feedback has led me to believe it's not the best title. It could be off-putting, it reflects poorly on women, etc. A publisher I had hoped to work with originally said she loved the title. When she met with the rest of her staff, they ended up rejecting the project. One of the reasons she offered? The title. They felt that most women would not be willing to pick up the book, be seen with it, etc.

Recently, I've thought about: "EWHAED. . . or Something Like it." What are your thoughts? (on this or other possible titles)

Without using this title, how can I capture my premise, attract an audience, and still incite debate and contemplation?

Any other ideas?

A Relative Plus Size

As you can clearly see from the photo above, America's Next Top Model has again included a plus-sized model in its cast for cycle 9.

Which one is she, you ask? C'mon. . . It's Sarah!




Here's Sarah during her rock-climbing shoot. Tyra? Are you there? The only thing plus-sized about this woman are her heels!



Kinda makes you just want to throw your hands up and surrender. . . But then, along comes Dove, with its latest marketing campaign:




I
love
Dove.

Mirror, Mirror

Often, women with body image issues will use the mirror the way they use the scale, for frequent, instantaneous feedback on the value of their self-worth. Stomach look flat enough? Check. Hips look too wide? Devastation.

A number of writers in the eating disorders field encourage mirror exercises, in which you expose yourself to your reflection (first clothed, then, for the more advance, naked) as a way to address negative body image. Jane Hirschmann and Carol Munter, of Overcoming Overeating and When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies (see sidebar) call the exercise "mirror work" and suggest you stand in front of the mirror and make non-judgmental statements about your body. "My arms look big." Judgment. "Here, the angle of my legs increases." Non-judgment. The goal is to engage only in non-judgmental statements about your body. If you can't, slowly back away from the mirror. . . and try again another time.

Thomas Cash, in the The Body Image Workbook writes about "mirror desensitization." The term "desensitization" is borrowed from behavioral psychology. Usually used with phobias, psychologists will encourage patients to expose themselves to their phobic stimuli, with the idea that with time and exposure, anxiety will fade. Afraid of spiders? Hang out with one for an hour. Scared of elevators/heights/subways/crowds/rats? Come to New York!

With mirror desensitization, the idea is create a "Ladder of Body Areas," in which you rank a number of your body parts on a satisfaction hierarchy--the part or parts of your body that you're most satisfied with go on the bottom, while those you detest the most go up top. Once you've done this, you're ready to face the mirror.

Stand in front of your mirror and begin by looking at a particular body part that doesn't cause you much distress to view--maybe even a part of your body you like. Breathe. Relax. Think pleasant thoughts. Then, according to Cash, go to a body part that causes a bit more discomfort for you. Look at the body part for a full minute. Shut your eyes and relax. Cash encourage readers, systematically, to work their way up their "Ladder of Body Areas" until they reach the top (i.e., the part of your body you find most difficult to view). Does this happen immediately? Of course not. Mirror desensitization will usually take multiple sessions--do a couple of body parts at at time. If you can't relax, breathe, and avoid judgment, stay at that particular rung until you can.

Hard work? Potentially. Impossible? Not at all. The goal is to work your way toward what I call "mirror indifference." You can look or not; it doesn't matter. You don't feel the need to pause at every mirror you see. Your reflection says nothing about who you are, and a mirror, is, after all, just a piece of broken glass.

*Yes, the picture of the broken mirror above is mine; no, I didn't do it purposely. ; )

Summer Love

I gotta say, lately, I've been digging Justin Timberlake. Not in a rob-the-cradle, rock-your-body, kinda way, but more because he likes his women sexy. Recently, he's been choosing leading ladies with flesh. With curves. With a little bit of meat on their still-thin frames.

Have you seen his HBO special? (Sadly,) I was struck by his choice of back-up dancers. In my sporadic viewing of the show, I didn't see one skin-on-bones dancer. Granted, the ladies' pelvic-gyrating, crotch-bearing poses weren't necessarily an advertisement for feminism per se, but at least their bodies were as solid as their performance.

Scarlett Johansson? Jessica Biel? His romantic choices reflect the same attraction to a healthy female physique. JT, single-handedly bringing sexy back. . .

Come Here Often?

Sunday, after brunch with the girls, we headed out for a stroll downtown, when we happened across a cute boutique. The outdoor sales rack lured us in, and soon enough, I headed toward the back of the store with my clothing possibilities in tow.

The salesman called out, "Everyone decent?" before he drew back the curtains.

You know what that means, right?

Communal dressing room!

I entered and found a couple of women inside. I tried on several items and found a dress I adore. But, that's not the point of this post. The point of this post is that there was a woman in her early 20s directly across the room, which put her about three feet away from me. She wore a long sweater with a pair of skinny jeans and she called to her friend outside, "The jeans aren't working."

I happened to like the jeans. Now, I'm not one to work when I'm not working. But, there was something about seeing her in clear view--this wasn't just something overheard in the next fitting room stall--I could see the girl! And, so I made a conscious decision to be Stacey, not Dr. Stacey, when I said, simply, "They look nice."

"Yeah, but I have runner's thighs," she said.

"Uh-huh."

"And this makes them look worse."

She looked at me inquistively, expecting some sort of reaction in return.

Uh-oh. What do I do? Stacey. . . Dr. Stacey. . . Stacey. . . Dr. Stacey. I went witht the Dr., because, you see, the thing is, we're one in the same. We have the same principles, the same voice, and the same difficulty in keeping our mouth shut when it comes to women and our bodies.

"Well, I'm actually a psychologist, and quite interested in body image, so I'm not going to agree with you on that one." We laughed and exchanged names. (I feel the need to say that I said the above statement with a smile, because I don't want to come off sounding like the psychology police. . . even though, apparently, I am.)

"Hey," she yelled out to her friend. "There's a body image consultant in here!"

"Well, I'm not a body image consultant [whatever that is], but I am a psychologist, and I do a lot of work with eating disorders and body image." At one point, my friend wandered in, also a psychologist. "Now there are two of us," I told my new communal dressing room friend (NCDRF) with a sinister smile.

Her friend joined us shortly. NCDRF said to her, "See, don't they look awful?" But the thing was, she looked at me, when asking the question. "Terrible, I said snidely, "You should probably start starving yourself tomorrow." (And yet again, I feel the need to reinforce the fact that I was joking--I was amplifying her irrationality to make a point--but that's the Dr. talking. No, I don't really think anyone should start starving herself tomorrow. . . including you.)

We commented on the psychology of the communal dressing room experience. "I probably should just have a seat and set up shop," I joked.

"Yeah, do you have a card?" she asked with a smile. I couldn't tell if she was joking or not. "No, I'm kinda serious here--do you have a card? It's probably something I should look into."

I handed her my card. "Well, now that you've seen me naked, I imagine it would make things much more comfortable."

Again, we laughed and eventually parted ways, agreeing that this qualified as one of the best ever fitting room stories.

It's Not Me; It's You

In Life Without Ed, writer and eating-disorder sufferer, Jenni Schaefer, crafts a declaration of independence from her disorder, which she cleverly anthropomorphizes to be, just, "Ed." In it, she declares:

Jenni, therefore, solemnly publishes and declares that she is free and independent; that she is absolved from all allegiance to Ed, that all connection between Ed and her ought to be totally dissolved, and that as a free and independent woman she has the full power to eat, live in peace, and to do all other acts and things which independent people do.

Our version? The break-up letter? Ever broken up with someone via letter, email, or text? Now's your chance (and trust me, you'll need more room than a post-it note provides). You'll need to explain why you're ending this (potentially) seemingly good relationship. Your task: write a letter to your scale, your mirror, your calorie-counting conscience, the part of you that mentally and physically abuses YOU, that causes YOU to restrict or binge, that causes YOU to hate your body, which is also part of YOU, and that has likely been doing this for years, obscuring the real YOU, and preventing YOU from being as independent, happy, and fulfilled as YOU deserve to be.

Dump him. He wasn't that good of a kisser, anyway.

You Better Shape Up

September's issue of Shape magazine beckons us with the following headline: "The #1 Weight-Loss Secret--Do This & You Will Drop Pounds."

A quick visit to page 232 of the monthly reveals the treasured secret, which likely enticed thousands of readers.

But, I'm not going to share, because you really should by the magazine.

Just kidding. I'm not going to share, because to do so would be to support and promote our societal obsession with weight loss, which clearly doesn't fall under my mission statement.

Alright, fine, I'll tell you, but only because I laughed out loud when I opened to 232. Here, a two-page spread reveals--"The secret to Weight Loss? Calories" followed by the statement, "The truth is, all diets boil down to a simple formula--eating fewer calories than you burn."

This is it, ladies, groundbreaking journalism at its finest. Make sure you pick up your copy today.

An Interview with Leslie Goldman

Last week, I had the opportunity to interview Leslie Goldman, author of Locker Room Diaries: The Naked Truth about Women, Body Image, and Re-Imagining the "Perfect" Body (see sidebar). Leslie's 31, a professional journalist, and holds a Master's in Public Health--she also writes a blog at iVillage called, The Weighting Game. As I mentioned earlier, I had read and enjoyed LR Diaries and found it incredibly serendipitous that Leslie had found and read my blog and was contacting me to discuss collaborating. At Leslie's suggestion, we decided to do a cross-interview to post on our respective sites.

As Leslie's in Chicago, our interview occurred via phone. Immediately, I was struck by her interpersonal ease, her warmth, sincerity, and sense of humor. If she were in New York, I'd love to have her as a friend.

At the end, I picked her brain about the publishing world--this is a woman who, at very young age, has published numerous magazine articles, and who (especially admirable and inspiring to me), managed to publish a book. My interview with her appears below. For the questions she posed to me, check out her blog today.

You mention in the prologue to your book that you struggled with anorexia. How did you recover? Is there still a pull toward eating-disordered thoughts, feelings, and behaviors?

I had an eating disorder in college—it was a very kind of cliché ED: I was the straight-A, perfectionist, eager-to-please young woman who goes off to college and freaks out and develops and eating disorder to cope with it, to cope with this new dis-order in her world. I lost a significant amount of weight; not so much that the fashion world would be appalled, but enough that I looked horrible. In terms of recovery, I got better physically within my freshman year, gaining most of the weight back. . . but it wasn’t until, I’d say, my junior year that I started looking deeper and realizing it wasn’t just about food—that it was so much more.

I do view eating disorders kind of like alcoholism—it’s a coping mechanism—you can get through it and live a healthy life, but it’s always there, it’s always something that you have to think about, like "I can’t go back there." I’m not going to say that I don’t think about food or working out or my body today, but I know I can’t and won't go back to what I was like—I have too full of a life to let that happen.

Why do you think The Scale has such an influence on women?

I think that that number is something tangible for women to grab onto, and kind of identify with, and measure themselves against. . . I actually just wrote about this today on my blog—I remember when I was writing my book, I interviewed a woman who said, "At 114, I feel skinny and beautiful; at 118, I feel fat." And this is a smart, educated lawyer. But this isn’t about being smart. So many of us are smart, educated—it’s about the weight-obsessed world we live in. . . and you read about the celebrities, and you think, "That’s what I need to do to be successful." There are so many women who get on the scale, and that number rules their day. It can make or break their day. You can see women get on the scale, and if they’re unhappy, they’ll slump. They’ll take off their flip flops or towel to try to lose that extra quarter pound.

Were women in the locker room generally approachable?

I found that women were approachable when I explained what I was doing and when I explained that I had had an eating disorder. When I revealed my past struggles, it made me more approachable. But some chapters were more difficult that others. The chapter on obesity was very difficult—I found a lot of my sources through blogs or friends of friends. You can tell when a woman’s open: There was a woman sitting on the ground, breastfeeding her daughter, I could tell that she was at peace with her body by the dreamy smile on her face and she just seemed like on open soul.

A lot of my research took the form of observation—I did a lot of looking and listening. I did worry when the book came out that people would think I was spying on them. But that was not the case. I wasn’t judging them. I was doing it more from an anthropological standpoint. If I did talk to women, I always got their permission.

How much female-female competition did you encounter?

It’s everywhere, and not just in the locker room. If you just watch, you’ll see women using glances, looking each other up and down. You can just see the thought bubble over their head, "Thank God she has a big butt," or, "Oh, she has cellulite, too" or "I wish my boobs were like hers." There’s already enough competition and self-loathing. I think women should be joining together and supporting each other. Another example was women watching each other get on the scale—one woman would get on and other women would wring their necks, trying to see.

Are you comfortable naked in the locker room?

Yes (laughs). I walk around, usually with a towel around my waist. I certainly don’t rush, rush, rush when the towel drops to get my underwear on. I will say one of the really interesting things I learned while writing the book on the chapter on ethnicity. Some of the women who worked in the locker room were raised in a culture that was much more modest. One woman said she couldn’t believe that women were walking around naked, bending over. I did start covering up, in some ways, as a matter of respect, but there are parts of me (my arms, my stomach) that I’m particularly happy with and proud of and I so I don't mind walking around topless or in a bra.

How do you think your book would have been different if you were a male journalist hanging out in the men’s locker room?

(laughs) I probably would have gotten in my share of fights - I don’t think most men would take to a man with a pad and a pen. But, from what I hear from men, their locker room is much different. They take much greater offense to men walking around naked. The younger men are always complaining about the older men walking around naked. I don’t think men have the same pressures women have. . . . I think men must look at each other to see what’s normal.

We both attended weight-loss support group meetings for research purposes. What was your experience like? How did you leave there feeling?

So, I attended a Weight Watchers group, and I was a bit troubled by what happened. I had a similar experience to you—many people were a normal weight—maybe they got there by attending the meetings. But I felt there was a lot of sadness. When the moderator would ask people to share, one man mentioned he had had gravy on his chicken, and I was sitting behind him and it was like he was going to cry, so I wanted to cry. The whole thing seemed cult-like, but so many people have had wonderful experiences with it, and I really can’t be one to judge. Maybe for him, it was very freeing to talk about his "dietary slip ups." And then of course, there’s the whole weigh-in aspect where they weigh you in behind the curtain. And, I have a problem getting on the scale and tying your self-worth to a number. For some people, the number can be motivating.

Did you get weighed at the meeting?

No. I was a first time visitor. No one pressured me or anything like that.

You speak of differences in body image based on culture. How do you think socio-economic status factors into the mix?

I do think that it has to do with socio-economic status. I think that regardless of your racial or ethnic background, the more money you have, the more access to things you have (health club memberships, fat free foods, fashion magazine subscriptions), things that pave the way toward exercising or eating [problems]. I do think also that different cultures appreciate different body types in different ways. But that’s not to say that Black women don’t get eating disorders or Indian women don’t get eating disorders, because they do.

How would you recommend mothers introduce their daughters to the locker room?

You know, I see mothers and daughters all the time in the locker room, and I see things that are positive moves, and I see things that make me cringe. I think, first of all, don’t introduce the scale into the equation. Just pretend it’s not even there. . . . I think it’s great when women are showering to talk [to their kids] about what they did at school that day or what they did at camp ("I heard you were great in archery").

Do not point out flaws in your own body. Make a concerted effort not to grimace at your body as you look in the mirror, or as you tweeze your eye brows. Allow them to explore, "Do you want to dry you hair?" "Do you want to comb it?" "Do you want to try getting dressed all by yourself?" Or, if they’re at the appropriate age, "Do you want to try to open the lock this time?" "Do you remember the combination?" Don’t focus on looking at yourself in the mirror. Make it a time when the two of you can have mother-daughter time and not a body-bashing session.

What’s your take on dieting?

I don’t even know if I can answer that. It’s so different for so many people. If you’re trying to lose some weight, dieting can be a helpful tool. I’m trying to think of a way to put it succinctly—I think dieting can be a useful tool if you’re working with a doctor or a nutritionist, but I think it can become an obsession for many people. But, I think there’s no reason to live your life on a perpetual diet, to live your life obsessed with every single calorie. There’s a fine balance. . . .

Some of my readers pointed out that your blog does not always champion health at every size. Any comments on this?

It’s so interesting, because people on my blog will say basically that I am too much on the pro-size acceptance front. I’ll be blogging about dancers in their 200s [weight], or just recently I blogged about the triathlete who weighs 300 pounds. . . or getting upset at my gym because they were playing a song that was derogatory toward heavy people. Readers sometimes will think, [these people are] overweight, why are you advocating it? I posted a quote by [the actress] Mo’Nique about being happy at any size on [another blog], and I got blasted. I also get a lot of comments about my own weight—"Well, you’re thin, why should I listen to you?" It’s like, why should my weight have anything to do with what I say? Or, they forget that I have had an eating disorder, have had my own struggles, am not immune to their comments. I’m just at a comfortable weight for me.

Is there a follow-up to Locker Room Diaries in the works?

Right now, I’m focusing on full-time magazine writing. I would love to write another book, but nothing has hit me in the same way that Locker Room Diaries did. That idea struck me right in the gym. It was so obvious. Every time I was at the gym, I could not escape hearing women talk about their bodies. I know that my next book will be focused on women, maybe not about body image, but it’ll be women-centered for sure.

Toxic

By now, you must certainly have heard about Britney Spears' recent performance at the MTV VMA's. And, I'm sure you've heard how horrifically overweight she appeared.

If not, see for yourself:



As you can tell, Britney, whose abdomen has raised more concern than the number of our troops remaining in Iraq, is clearly a candidate for gastric bypass surgery.

Call her a has been.

Call her a fashion disaster.

Call her an alcohol or substance abuser.

Call her a potentially (I'm being careful here) unfit mother.

But, please, please, don't call her fat.

How Not to Win Friends

The scene: sitting at a restaurant bar with a colleague I just met discussing a project we'll be working on together. The US Open plays on the television above us. . . .

The colleague: a sixty-something-year-old male, who does not specialize (to my awareness) in eating disorders

The dialogue: I mention, at some point, my interest in eating disorders and the book I'm currently writing. Conversation shifts and then returns to the book. He's curious what underlies the problem. "So, why do you think EWHAED?", he asks. I go through my typical spiel, the whole cultural piece, our societal obsession with thinness, how women are valued most for their looks and even more so for their bodies, yada, yada, yada. . . .

He draws my attention to the television screen, where Serena Williams sports one of her usual flashy get-ups. "Now, she's not thin," he says.

"Well, I might not call her skinny, but she's solid. She's pure muscle, and she's certainly thinner than the average American woman."

"She is?" he asks, seemingly surprised.

I provide him some stats on the average American woman (AAW), which last I checked (and this could be slightly different now) has the AAW coming in at 144 pounds.

"144?", he exclaims. "That's fat!"

"See, you're the problem."

Questions, Please. . .

Next week, Leslie Goldman, author of the Locker Room Diaries: The Naked Truth About Women, Body Image, and Re-Imagining the "Perfect" Body (see sidebar) and the iVillage blog, The Weighting Game, and I will cross-interview each other via phone.

I'd like to gather some questions from you, from those who have read her book (or blog), or others who might have related questions from the self-proclaimed "women's health writer" who focuses on diet and body image. So, if you have any questions for Leslie, let me know. . . either include here as a comment or email me directly.

Size Happy

Margaux Laskey, of Size Ate, posted yesterday about a recent weight gain. For those of you unfamiliar with her, check out this post, which features clips and commentary from her one-woman show.

You can read her thoroughly insightful and enlightening post here.

The upshot?

She's gained some weight.

She's happy.

And she's one of the best writing bloggers I know.

Miss Antisocial Personality Disorder

Teeshirtsrock.com has the above item in stock for just under $25. Now, my questions for you (some rhetorical, some not) are:

1) Who would buy this shirt?
2) Whom would you buy it for?/Who would wear it?
3) Why don't they have its Miss Bulimic counterpart?
4) Any shirts on other mental or physical illnesses? (Miss Schizophrenia? Miss Female Orgasmic Disorder? Miss Diabetes? Miss Cancer?

Just checking. . .

Small Bites

Thanks to one of my readers for forwarding me this, Gawker's tongue-in-cheek commentary on the recent obesity-as-virus news item.

Also, I checked out Gawker this morning for an interesting bit on fried Oreos. I must confess--until a few months ago, I never knew there was such a thing. They fry Oreos? Wow.

And yes, that is a picture of yours truly back in the day. I hope no one is offended by the bagel. ; )

A Matter of Fabric

(Another post brought to you by little m). . .

MOD*EL – noun (adjective, verb, -eled, -eling.)

n.

Conventional fashion wisdom is that “models are selected based on how well fabric drapes on their bodies.”

And, as we know, all sorts of things can be extrapolated from that. Like, therefore, that’s the only way to be beautiful. Like the only way to look good in your clothes is to look like that.

But maybe – just maybe - conventional fashion wisdom is not the whole truth.

The smaller the body, the less fabric it’s generally going to take to construct a garment for it. The less fabric used, the lower the production cost. Cheaper production costs, all other things being equal, lead to bigger profits, which are generally deemed to be better in business.

So maybe designers are praised and rewarded when they use less fabric.

Being the granddaughter of a seamstress, I learned early that it’s easier to cut in a straight line than on a curve. So the more curves to the body, the more difficult the garment is to make.

So maybe designers are lazy. :D

We’ve read so much about the fashion models that have starved themselves and used drugs in order to work, that if we link to all the articles describing the phenomenae, Dr. S’s server may go on strike from the overload.*

So maybe FASHION models should NOT be ROLE models.

What do you all think?

*Editor's note: See mamavision for a great primer on modeling and our bodies. . .

Oops . . The Response

Since some have expressed concern about my health (related to my recent weight gain), I figured I'd shoot you a quick update from my hospital bed.

Sorry, I'm feeling feisty. ; )

My health is fine--thanks for your concern. I'll directly address some of the comments to "Oops" in this post.

BUT....12 pounds is not a small amount of weight to gain in six months. The reasons ARE important. Because if you continue to do the same thing you're doing to gain that weight, then eventually, one should be concerned about what health effects it would have. If, on the other hand, the reasons you might have gained that weight are temporary in nature, then you are right to not be concerned at all.

At what point do you begin to worry? What about a woman who is over 180 pounds (at 5'4'')gaining that kind of weight in six months? Would you also tell her to go on about her day like no big deal? Isn't it much healthier to take a realistic attitude and admit that some healthy changes need to be made, while not freaking about it?

The reasons are important, as you suggest, but they were not important to my telling of this story.

In my mind, you begin to worry about the health consequences of gaining weight when there are health consequences of gaining weight. This does not include a doctor telling you you should lose weight for your health. As some others have noted, there are plenty of skinny, unhealthy people, and plenty of fat, healthy people.

In case anyone's curious (since it seems some of you are), my blood pressure is typically about 90/60. It's low. It's low enough that I have a history of passing out (especially when dehydrated). Romantic swooning aside, a 12-pound weight gain is only going to help me out when it comes to blood pressure concerns.

So when i read ur comment, please forgive me but i felt like here is another person missing the point.
I feel like we all act like extra weight automatically means a health problem. And may i venture a guess that most people (maybe not u but most) would not show ANY concern over a 12 pound weight LOSS, they wouldnt worry if the very fact that weight was fluctuating is a sign something is wrong, but when the weight goes up they do.

That's exactly right. I encourage you all to read "The Diet Myth" and "Rethinking Thin" (scroll down the side bar for info). There's a lot of propaganda out there on the relationship between health and weight. Research shows that being underweight is associated with more health consequences than being overweight.

And, how come no one assumed I'm a recovering anorexic who should be congratulated on gaining 12 pounds?

I am just wondering, and wish maybe Dr. Stacy would chime in. How much "fluctuation" in weight is too much? And by "too much" I mean either a health risk (say for an "average 5'5" woman), or a "slippery slope" that if not nipped in the bud, WILL lead to an unhealthy gain. How many of us would really not care about a 12 lb. gain? I'd not only be very disappointed but by that time would be having knee pain, back pain, difficulty participating in my usual physical activities, and tight pants. Are those worth worrying about?

I have absolutely no idea, first because I'm not a medical doctor, and second, because even if I were, I'd have to assume that this issue could only be addressed on a case by case basis.

But it CAN amount to something- stress on your joints, increased blood pressure... 12 lbs is not "nothing". 3 lbs is nothing.

Well, I'm not sure we'll ever be able to define "nothing," except on an individual basis. In my case, 12 pounds is physically "nothing." I'm 5'6", so perhaps that helps, but I can still exercise, engage in daily activities, etc. to the same extent before I gained the weight. My body, like many others, tends to cycle with weight related to a host of reasons (which are important to me, but not necessarily for this discussion).

So, my BP is fine, but about my joints? I think they're ok, too. I run quite a bit, and I'd venture to guess that the damage I've done by pounding the pavement (long-distance running) is far more deleterious than that created by these extra 12 pounds. I haven't notice any variation in orthopaedic symptoms related to my weight.

12 pounds, though, in my case, and in many others, COULD be tremendously damaging psychologically, and that was the point of this post.

NONE of you actually asked "Dr. stacy, how is your blood pressure? And how do your joints feel?"
You assume based on her weight gain.
Furthermore, I doubt you'd ask this of yourself or anyone else as long as they are skinny.

Forgive me if I sound snappish, I don't mean to disrespect your opinions and if you have info to back that up that you want to share by all means do.
I just am sick of everyone crying out "health" to excuse our obsession with being thin.
If you care about someone's health, ASK THEM HOW THEY FEEL, don't analyze their weight or YOUR perception of their lifestyle, dietary and excercise choices.

Thank you for asking. The "health" argument will persist as long as we need something to justify our intense hatred of fat in others and ourselves.

As an athlete, gaining 12 lbs. would severely hinder my ability to train pain-free. If I saw I gained 12 lbs. in six months I wouldn't freak out - but I would certainly begin to restructure my food intake and activity levels.

I mean, if you gained 12lbs. in the past 6 months, that means you could potentially gain 24 in one year...48 in two years...100 in four years...

True, I guess it's possible that I'll gain 100 pounds in four years, but I'm going with history on this one. I've gained weight and lost weight (just about this amount) several times. There's the allure in trying to lose it again (as many of you might feel), but I'm not actively encouraging either weight gains or losses at this point in my life--the more we cycle, the worse it is for our HEALTH.

And, let's say I did want to lose the weight. Should I diet? We all know that 95-98% (depending on which research you read) of all diets fail. Dieters lose weight, gain it back, and then some. If I'm to being to restrict my food (I already exercise enough), I might lose some weight, but I won't be eating intuitively and the likelihood is that that'll backfire, and I actually could see that 100 pounds you mentioned.

I had no idea those were the lyrics in that song. Good lord, what crap. I'm embarrassed that I ever bobbed my head to such nonsense.

I actually made those up, but now that I know that my writing is virtually indistinguishable from Britney Spears's (or at least enough that I could fool one of my good friends), I'm more encouraged about the eventual publication of this book. ; )

Oops. . . I Did it Again

I stepped on the scale
Let go of the rail
I wanted to see
The damage to me
Oh, weigh me, weigh me. . . Oops. . . I did it again. . .
(a la Britney, circa 2000)*

I think the last time I knew my weight was about six months ago (dr's visit). And now, a couple of seasons later, I felt a sudden curiosity one day at the gym. I knew I'd gained--the fact that I haven't been fitting into about 1/3 of my wardrobe could have told me that. But, I wanted to know. . . THE NUMBER.

And, here it was, staring me right back in the face.

12 pounds.

I really thought it would have been about 8. But, it was 12.

12 pounds, I've gained in just about six months. The why's are unimportant here (and I'm sure I could speculate forever), but, what's more important, for our purpose, is what I did. My options? You must all know them quite well. . . .

Freak out.

Begin restricting that afternoon, or at least enroll in or plan for a full-fledged diet that Monday.

Commit to a more intensive exercise plan.

Hate myself.

Get back on the scale and try again (maybe taking off my adorning towel, because we all know how much a dry towel can weigh).

Do nothing.

I kinda handed you this one. I did nothing. I went about my shower, getting dressed, and returned to work. My exercise and eating habits didn't change a bit, and I really wasn't distressed at all. Would I like to have seen less of a weight-gain, or not one at all? Sure. I'd be lying if I said I didn't, especially because some of my favorite wardrobe items have been neglected as of late. But, I've bought some new stuff, bringing the mountain to Mohammed, and I'm really not sweating the 12 pounds at all. Because in the scope of what I do and who I am and the world I live in, 12 pounds of extra flesh amount to absolutely nothing.

*Sorry, it's just that she's been in the news so much lately, and the tune sort of lent itself to the material. . . .

A Word from a Reader*

Hello Dr. Stacey,

I just wanted to write you as I just finished reading your entire blog. It really spoke to me. I have experienced problems with eating for years now, since the age of nine when a family member poked my belly and made fun of my tiny fat rolls. Though it could be blamed on normal changes that happen when a girl goes through puberty, ever since then I have felt uncomfortable in my skin, and I'm 27 now.

I have taken diet pills, been on countless diets, and even flirted with anorexia a time or two. Unfortunately, though I have lost weight in the past, I always return to my comfort of compulsively overeating, and I go back into what I don't want to be. I currently weigh the most I ever have, and I am so tired. I am tired of feeling 'less than' because of my own insecurities tied to a physical characteristic. I am tired of feeling worried for my health and sanity because I don't know how to treat myself with respect. I am tired of hiding this part of myself from others who don't know me well. It's exhausting, and not respectful As a student of psychology (almost finished with my bachelor's degree), I have done a lot of introspection regarding myself and my eating issues. I am ready to finish what I have started, and I want to love myself for the awesome person I am. The only problem is, I don't even know where to begin. I have read quite a few books regarding the subject of compulsive overeating, including all the ones written by Geneen Roth. I have identified with what she has written, but I still don't know how to take what she is offering and run with it.

I hope that you are able to continue your book-writing aspirations. I think you will make a wonderful author, and have a lot to offer the ED community. Like I said, I got so much out of your blog, I read the entire thing in one go. Thank you for writing it and for allowing others to share their experiences with you. Thank you for reading what I have written here - it means a lot to know that I have shared this with someone who is attempting to help. It is hard to find people who understand what I go through on a daily basis, hence this long, rambling e-mail.

Thank you again.

*I post this with permission from the writer, with the idea that others might identify with her story.