Sorority Girls

In the New York Times bestseller, Pledged, Alexandra Robbins goes undercover among a group of sorority members in order to expose the inner workings of female Greek groups. What's interesting, though not surprising, is the incidence, condonation, and even camaraderie, of eating disorders in sororities.

Robbins covers everything from "Pig Runs" (when newly selected sorority members, termed "pigs," would sprint to the houses that chose them) to gym attendance: "Gymming had become a popular gerund [in sororities], as in, 'I need to go gymming if I eat this cookie.'" One sister was dropped from the school's cheerleading because she was too fat. . . a size 2.

According to Robbins, women's bodies are front and center through the sorority selection process, and according to a rush manual (Rush: A Girl's Guide to Sorority Success) she quotes:

For example, if you are overweight, you must try to lose weight before rush. If you have acne problems, you should work on clearing up your face. whatever problems you have, you must do your best to minimize them. Physical attractiveness plays a large part in the overall evaluation process.

Not having much to go on besides looks, sorority members rate rushees after just several minutes of conversation. When I was in a sorority and new to the "better" end of the rush process, we were instructed to rate each woman on a scale of 1-5 (1 being the best, 5 the worst). We had to shout out the numbers in front of the entire sisterhood, and sometimes debate ensued. Since hundreds of women had visited the house each day, we relied on the notes we had scribbled in unobtrusive notebooks (hidden under couch cushions, in the stairwells) to jog our memories. Having sat through this process for one year, I feigned illness the next. How can you rate a person on a scale of 1-5?

It's not hard, according to some. A visitor from our national office, who was sent to advise us on selecting appropriate women during rush, rhetorically asked: "You don't want any dogs in the house, do you?"

Once selected, and now pledges, the women are subjected to similar scrutiny. Robbins writes:

I had been under the impression that pledging practices such as 'circle the fat' and 'bikini weight' were the stuff of urban legend. I was wrong. During circle the fat, pledges undress and, one by one stand in front of the entire sorority membership. The sisters (or, in some chapters, fraternity brothers) then use thick black markers to circle the fat or cellulite on a pledge's body. The purpose is to help the pledge learn what parts of her body she needs to improve. During bikini weigh, or "weigh-in," pledges are weighed in front of either the sisterhood or a fraternity; the audience yells the number displayed on the scale.

I'm guessing this doesn't come with the same degree of support and respect as the weigh-ins on The Biggest Loser. And, helping pledges identify what parts of her body she needs to improve? Is that new information for them? Thankfully, these practices did not occur in my house, though sisters frequently binged, restricted, and over-exercised together. It's no wonder that plumbers must frequently service sorority houses, as Robbins notes, to unclog the bulimia-ravaged pipes. In an overall university environment where eating disorders are rampant, they flourish, perhaps to an even greater degree, in sororities that maintain such practices and expectations.

New York News

Congratulations to the now-famous members of this community, Shapely Prose, Big Fat Deal, fat fu, and The Rotund, who were recently featured in The New York Times "Health" section. Well done!

And, elsewhere in NY:

Spotted on a coffee mug: "Food has replaced sex in my life. Now I can't even get into my own pants."

And, on a greeting card: "Some women can eat all the cake and ice cream they want and never gain a pound. And they are called bitches. Happy Birthday"

Men in the Locker Room

One day, as I walked into the ladies' locker room at the gym, the attendant informed me that there were men inside, attending to some repairs. That particular day, I didn't have to undress, but simply had to lock up my belongings. It's funny, though, my gut reaction to hearing there were men inside: "So?"

Because I'm not a stripper, I wondered about my cavalier attitude to the presence of men. What became clear was my underlying belief that men in the locker room would be less inclined to stare at my body, at least in a critical way, less inclined to judge than my female counterparts.

More recently, I stepped up to one of the vanity/hairdryer stations, letting my towel slip from my chest to my waist. My neighbor caught my absent-minded action and said: "Must be nice to be comfortable enough to [insert let-it-all-hang-out gesture here]!"

I suppose, but, often, it's function over form. My locker room routine involves accomplishing the most I can in the shortest period of time. One day, as I dried my hair and simultaneously applied lotion to my limbs and tweezed my brows, another woman commented, "You've just brought multi-tasking to a new level." And, I have. . .

But, what's interesting in me, is the way that women evaluate one another--yes, each of these reactions serves as compliments, I think; I'm comfortable with my body (according to woman #1) and exhibit record-breaking efficiency (woman #2). But, there's still a great deal of observation, of judgment. I can only wonder the negative evaluations that they're thinking but wouldn't dare to say, and I can't help but think that if I were a man in the men's locker room, my behavior, unless extraordinary, would go unnoticed. Women, as most of us know, are our worst critics. That eyeing-you-up-and-down gaze is never as penetrating as it when shot from female eyes. It's no wonder I'd be more comfortable disrobing in front of men.

Lip Balms On Me!

A while back, I found myself at Ricky's cosmetics chainlet, picking up a few necessities. When I placed my items on the counter, I noticed a basket full of lip balm, maybe 20 tubes or so, with a handwritten note on its rim, "Free."

"Are these really for free?" I asked the sales clerk. Right about now, you're probably wondering what kind of cockamamie university granted me my Ph.D. But, I kinda had to ask before taking, you know?

The whole concept of self-regulated, free products right there on the counter intrigued me. And this was good lip balm, good SPF-laced, organic lip balm. My dermatologist (and mother) would be so proud. How many should I take? What if I took the whole basket? Could I? I mean, they're free, but I probably should leave some of the tubes for others. Where do you draw the line? Funny thing is, I don't even wear lip balm!

You know, I've heard that women do this, stock up unnecessarily on products, on toiletries. Does the shampoo in the cabinet under your sink run three bottles deep? Word is, it's a vestigial feature of our hunting and gathering days. Women, as gatherers like to do, well, gather. We stock up on occasion, warding off the consequences of draught, at the expense of uncluttered cabinets, as the expense of our partners wondering why we need two back-up sticks of deodarant at all times.

But the reason I'm writing about lip balm, in case it's not imminently clear, is that I think we do the same thing with food. For those who have restricted over time, through dieting/anorexia/any other means, exposure to food often results in a compensantory binge, taking all the lip balm, so to speak, and hoarding it, because it might not be available for future demand. If we were to allow ourselves to eat when hungry and to eat some of the foods we crave, we'd be less inclined to want the whole enchilada and more inclined just to take what we need. Like two tubes of lip balm, leaving the wicker basket to its original, rightful owners. . .

This Is Not a Political Post

HILLARY SPECIAL 2 FAT THIGHS WITH SMALL BREAST & A LEFT WING

But, I do want to talk about Hillary. Specifically, about her body, because clearly, her body is more of a topic than Obama's, Edwards', or Romney's.

Maybe we like a svelte leader--remember the Mr. Clinton McDonald's debacle? On an episode of the wonderful, but canceled, Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist, comic Ted Alexandro quips that Jesus had "great abs" -- "That what you want in a Savior, because have you seen Buddha?"

But, Hillary, regardless of what you think of her as a person or politician, is more Jesus than Buddha in size. As far as I'm aware, none of the other candidates have been scrutinized about their bodies.

Obama's love handles? McCain's double chin? Huckabee better be mindful about gaining any weight after his highly touted 100-pound weight loss, which he chronicles in Quit Digging your Grave with a Knife and Fork: A 12-Stop Program to End Bad Habits and Begin a Healthy Lifestyle. The 12 "stops" include:

1. STOP Procrastinating.
2. STOP Making Excuses.
3. STOP Sitting on the Couch.
4. STOP Ignoring Signals from Your Body.
5. STOP Listening to Destructive Criticism.
6. STOP Expecting Immediate Success.
7. STOP Whining.
8. STOP Making Exceptions.
9. STOP Storing Provisions for Failure.
10.STOP Fueling with Contaminated Food.
11.STOP Allowing Food to Be A Reward.
12.STOP Neglecting Your Spiritual Health.

Now, if only for emotional eaters and other eating disordered folks, it did involve just 12 basic stops. . . .

Why is Hillary's shape part of the equation? Why is she the candidate whose body we need to judge?

"EAT"

Y'all know cggirl, right? A regular reader/commenter on this site, cggirl also happens to be Michal Finegold, a talented computer graphics artist, who's working on a new project (see below). Cggirl would appreciate your thoughts/comments about this work-in-progress, and I'm curious about your reactions, too, given the apropos subject matter.

Yeah, They're My Skinny Jeans, MOO-Fah!

Every once in a while, I get a mass-market email from someone who's clearly never read my blog. For instance, right in time for the New Year's diet surge, I received an email from a media marketing company informing me of a new diet "targeting women's mid-section."

Now, you realize there's a problem with our collective mid-section, don't you?

The message states, "Take a look at more of the amazing details below, thought you'd like them for your blog!" And, I do. . .

The diet consists of several small-er meals a day (no novelty here), with the inclusion of monounsaturated fatty acids at each meal. The diet calls these MUFA's, and even spells out the correct pronunciation ("MOO-fahs") for help.

What struck me beyond this tip, though, was "Cornerstone #2" of the plan. The diet encourages us to use "a mind trick at every meal," such as "arrange cut flowers in a vase and place it on the table where you eat [or] keep your skinny jeans on a hanger in full view."

Now, I'm all for cut flowers, but my skinny jeans on a hanger in full view?

The message is punitive, an ascetic demand that robs us of our power to eat intuitively. Personally, I happen to eat most of my meals at work, at restaurants, or on the run. I can only imagine my skinny jeans hanging from my office bookshelves--imagine the conversation starter there. . . .

Eat, Drink, & Be Merry

Today, I sat around and did nothing. Well, not exactly nothing. . . I read a memoir, caught up on emails, did the crossword, closed my eyes a few times, took a long lunch. . . . In short, I attended jury duty.

My book? Caroline Knapp's, Drinking: A Love Story, which so far, I highly recommend. You might know Knapp better from the chronicle of her struggle with anorexia, Appetites: Why Women Want, published posthumously* in 2004. In reading, Drinking, I'm compelled to think more formally about the similarities between eating disorders and addictions. Since I specialize in both, I'm often struck by how analogous they seem, how sometimes my language involves mere word substitution in order to convey the difference. We use alcohol or substances the way we use (or don't use) food. To escape. To distract. To numb. To cope.

Knapp writes about attending an AA meeting, where alcoholism was described as a "fear of life." Sound familiar? She goes on to write about how she, personally, would diagnose alcohol dependence:

Are you driven by a feeling of hunger and need? When someone sets a bottle of wine on the dinner table, do you find yourself glancing at it subversively, possessively, the way you might look at a lover you long for but don't quite trust? When someone pours you a glass from the bottle, do you take careful note of the level of liquid in the glass, and measure it secretly against the level of liquid in the other glasses, and hold your breath for just a second until you're assured you have enough? Do you establish an edgy feeling of relationship with that glass, that wine bottle; do you worry over it, care about it, covet it, want it all for yourself? Can you bear the thought that it might run out, that you'll be left sitting there without it, alone and unprotected?

See what I mean? Substitute food for wine, and you've just diagnosed emotional eating.

Both alcohol/substance abuse and eating disorders are coping mechanisms, which allow us to tolerate difficult emotions, to manage our lives more effectively, until, of course, the coping strategy itself becomes problematic. Both represent behavioral addictions designed to ward off distress, triggered by similar internal/external stimuli. Both involve oral (in the case of most substances) fixation, signaling, in psychobabble, unmet dependency needs. Both destroy the lives of others and ourselves.

Not uncommonly, patients will present with both an eating disorder and alcohol/substance abuse. When one remits, the other, sometimes, will worsen. It's not surprising. The bottom line is, we need a way to cope, and when we're robbed of one weapon, we're quick to return to the arsenal to determine what remains. On my two-train commute home, the walls of one advertised Weight Watchers, the other Stolichnaya.

*A quick Google search reveals that the sober Knapp, a long-time smoker, died of lung cancer in 2002.

Inspiration: Part 2

First things first, I have to apologize to Barney's for my journalistic error. The store window discussed below was not a Barney's window, but rather, belongs to Calvin Klein (the two stores abut one another). In order to compensate for my gross misreporting, I visited Barney's and promptly purchased three new pairs of shoes.

Now. . . onto Calvin Klein. . . It seems the headless, splayed-legged woman has multiplied, as she appeared (as Beth noted and all of us envisioned) immediately poised to do. Now, there are two headless, splayed-legged women. The first retains her original window and design (see previous post).

Her colleague (Compadre? Daughter?)lies beneath a giant sandal (fashion forward, ladies!) accompanied by another woman (either the first woman or a third). Perhaps Woman #1 has assaulted Woman #2. Perhaps it was the sandal.



Finally, thanks to ae's and zubeldia's comments, I sent the original post to Jean Kilbourne. Ever email Jean Kilbourne? ; ) Here's what I wrote:

Hi, Dr. Kilbourne--I'm a big fan of yours and am a psychologist that does a lot w/women and body image. Recently, I came across a holiday window display (at [Calvin Klein]) that I thought you'd find interesting. You can see the display (and my thoughts and readers' comments) here. Some of my readers mentioned your work when they saw the image. Thanks for helping provide such an important forum for discussion. Best, Drstaceyny

And, her response:

Thanks so much, Stacey. What a dreadful window. It looks as if a club is lying beside her but maybe I am not seeing it clearly. Your blog looks great! Happy holidays. Jean

Inspiration

Back in September, when writer Leslie Goldman interviewed me, she asked where I find inspiration for my blog posts. It's really not that hard--all I have to do is go about my day with open eyes and ears, and I'm sure to uncover some material.

One of my offices is directly across the street from department store mecca, Barneys. Ah, Barney's. . . I didn't choose the location of this office, but thoroughly enjoy the opportunity to, on my breaks, step outside and wander around some of my favorite floors.

Barney's, like most NYC department stores, recently unveiled its holiday windows. Each year, it seems, the department stores compete to showcase the most creative talent and ideas (with audio-visual representation to boot). This year, Barney's stepped out with a "Green Holiday" theme--store windows, oxymoronically juxtaposed in midtown Manhattan, promote keeping our earth green. A visit to the Barney's website reveals the store's larger mission: "Gorgeous green gifts, fabulously fair-trade fashion, sensationally sustainable swag, orgasmic organic denim and cashmere, environmentally conscious tchotchkes of all descriptions and philanthropic gestures to warm the cockles of your heart." Now, who's gonna discount that?

So, why I ask, does one of the windows look like this?



How is this consistent with having a "Green Holiday"? Now, I know, I might be jumping to conclusions, as some of you have pointed out. Perhaps this lovely, headless woman, replete with splayed, cleverly lit legs, is, simply, strengthening her core. Perhaps she's an accomplished yogi, who takes her practice outdoors, under still-green foliage, thus integrating the "Green Holiday" theme. Perhaps.

But, when one asks how I find inspiration for my posts, I answer that I only have to step outdoors, with camera-phone in hand, to gather material for my writing, to warm the cockles of my heart.

Untitled

In a Native American parable, the Creator amasses his animals and offers the following:

"I want to hide something from my human children until they are ready for it. . . . It is the realization that they create their own reality."

"Give it to me. I'll fly it to the moon," says the Eagle.

"No," says he Creator. "One day soon they will go there and find it."

"How about the bottom of the ocean?" asks the Salmon.

"No," says the Creator. "They will find it there, too."

"I will bury it in the great plains," says the Buffalo.

"They will soon dig and find it there," says the Creator.

"Then put it inside of them," says wise Grandmother Mole.

"Done," says the Creator. "It is the last place they will look."

Tough Love

Likelihood is you already know this, but Jennifer Love Hewitt is fat. At least that's the latest uproar surrounding some recent pictures the paparazzi snapped of her while she vacationed with her new fiance, actor Ross McCall.

Hewitt blogs:

I've sat by in silence for a long time now about the way women's bodies are constantly scrutinized. To set the record straight, I'm not upset for me, but for all of the girls out there that are struggling with their body image. A size 2 is not fat! Nor will it ever be. And being a size 0 doesn't make you beautiful. … To all girls with butts, boobs, hips and a waist, put on a bikini – put it on and stay strong.

Response to her response?

Mindful Eating Lecture

Often, I talk and write about the emotions that lead us to under- and overeat. But, what about the emotions we experience because of the food we eat? What are some of the biochemical processes, triggered by different foods, that result in us feeling happy, anxious, or tired? This is what I learned from nutritionist Mary Horn, at a lecture entitled, "Thinking, Feeling, Eating: How Food Affects Mood."

Below is much of the material from the lecture (thanks, Mary!). Did you know, for instance, that we make over 200 food choices per day? When to eat, what to eat, how much, should we add salt, sugar, do we want that with ketchup, are we full, or should we keep eating--all of these decisions, whether we consciously experience them or not, occur throughout each day.

Carbohydrates:
-Cravings are different from physiological hunger.
-Carb. cravings often occur mid-afternoon, lingering until we go to bed.
-Cravings are magnified when dieting, under stress, when skipping meals, with depression, and when we're pre-menstrual.
-Cravings do not occur because of a "lack of will-power," but because of an imbalance in the neurotransmitter, serotonin.
-Eating carbohydrates can increase energy levels, reduce hunger and depression, as serotonin levels are balanced.
-Those who experience carbohydrate cravings (or struggle with any of the above) are "doomed on low carb diets," leaving you "powerless to an all out binge."
-Horn encourages choosing complex carbs and satisfying a sweet tooth with, for example, an english muffin topped with honey, or a 1/2 cinnamon raisin bagel with jelly, in order to incur the same serotonin-boosting benefits without the blood sugar crash associated with simple sugars.
-Horn also recommended eating often, and especially eating breakfast, in order to maintain serotonin levels.

Fat:
-Our cravings for fat are largely unconscious.
-Fat cravings typically have more to do with texture than taste.
-As you'd imagine, we're more likely to crave fatty foods when on restrictive diets, engaged in erratic eating patterns, and on low-fat diets.

Omega 3 Fats:
-Omega 3 fats can also increase serotonin levels.
-A deficit is associated with depression, anxiety, impaired memory and intellectual functioning, and decreased ability to fight inflammatory diseases.
-The goal is to increase our intake of Omega 3 fats (found in fatty fish, flax, walnuts and canola oil), while limiting our intake of Omega 6 fats (found in pretty much every other fat source). Horn recommends a 4 to 1 Omega 3 to Omega 6 ratio in our diets.

Chocolate:
-Chocolate makes us feel good for several reasons: The sugar in chocolate boosts our serotonin levels, the caffeine increases dopamine, and the substance in its entirety produces endorphin surges.
-Horn recommends using cocoa powder, eating chocolate after meals (not instead of them), and buying good chocolate in small quantities.

Caffeine:
-Ingesting caffeine increases neurotransmitter levels.
-The effects of caffeine can last anywhere from 3-5 hours, up to 20 hours after you drink that cup of coffee. Now, does your insomnia make sense?
-Caffeine provides an endorphin rush and a consequent anti-depressant effect.
-In the long run, though, caffeine can lead to anxiety, headaches, muscle-tension, elevated cortisol (stress hormone) levels, and, natch, insomnia.

Alcohol:
-Drinking allow us to relax and feel good.
-Alcohol results in increased serotonin, lowered dopamine (associated with less anxiety), and increased endorphins.
-But, and of course, there's a but, alcohol can dehydrate, have an overall depressing effect, disrupt sleep, affect our food satiety, stimulate appetite, reduce inhibitions, and interact with medications we might take.

Horn's Suggestions:
-Eat mindfully (see my previous post).
-Eat 2/3 of your calories before dinner.
-Never allow more than 3-4 hours between meals.
-Balance your intake of proteins, carbohydrates, and fats.
-Produce endorphins via exercise.
-Manage stress.
-Increase Omega 3's.
-Get adequate sleep.

Well, possibly easier said than done, but it is interesting to understand the biological underpinnings for why we crave certain foods. Horn asked the audience about carbohydrate cravings, and every single woman raised her hand. She noted that women typically crave carbohydrates, while men are more likely to crave protein. Is this true for you? If so, does this help explain why?

Mindful Eating Exercise

Recently, I visited a spa that prides itself on its mindfulness programming. Activities include physical challenges (that focus on mindfulness), mindful decision-making, mindful communication, mediating, and, of course, eating.

I decided to attend a mindful eating breakfast, craving the experience both for myself and to bring back to my work. So, at 9am on a Saturday morning, I sat down with a couple of other women and began a mindful eating exercise.

We were instructed to visit the restaurant buffet, paying particular attention to all of our senses as we made our food choices. We were instructed not to focus on the "shoulds," but rather on what appealed to us.

I piled food on my plate, paying attention to vibrant color and texture. I stood over the bowl of flax seed for a moment (this is a healthy place!), thinking, "I should probably add some flax seed," but quickly caught myself and headed back to the table to begin the exercise. For the record, I chose some berries, oatmeal, and a vegetarian/cream cheese omelet.

The challenge: For 10 minutes, we were to eat mindfully--to meditate over our food, with awareness, without conversation.

That 10 minutes felt like an eternity.

Have you ever timed how long it takes you to eat breakfast, especially if you're not talking to someone else, watching tv, reading the paper, etc.? I'm guessing most us (myself included) scarf down our food in fewer than 10 minutes. . . and usually with one or more distractions.

So, here's what I learned, as I stared at my plate for 10 minutes, looking at the food, swirling it around with my fork, chewing slowly, paying attention to my appetite, to color, texture, and taste.

1) I don't even like raspberries. They're pretty bitter to me.
2) I really like strawberries. Did you ever notice how evenly dispersed the seeds are? I did!
3) Omelets are kind of plastic in a way I don't particularly enjoy.
4) The texture of oatmeal is much more appealing when I allow it to settle in my mouth, bathing my teeth and tongue in its chewy, little lumps. And, I love, love, love the squishy sound of oatmeal stirred.
5) 10 minutes at a table with several other women is a really long time to go without speaking. We stared at our plates, at our food, but it felt somehow asocial. It made me realized how conditioned we are to communicate, to focus on others (and other things) rather than what we're ingesting.
6) Without these distractions, I easily registered my satiety, putting my fork down at the first sign of fullness.

Have you ever tried an exercise like this? What are your thoughts/feelings about trying?

Thanks

In the spirit of the season (for those of us in the States), check out Leslie Goldman's current article in Shape magazine. If you remember, I interviewed Leslie back in September, and her book, Lockerroom Diaries, appears on my sidebar to the right.

And, some thanks to all of you:

1) For reading and providing me a consistent audience toward the goal of eventually getting this book published

2) For your thoughtful, frank, and insightful comments

3) For the fact that I've actually been able to meet some of my readers (and may, in the future, even meet more!)

4) For your continuing to challenge me to clarify my ideas

5) For serving as a large, internet-based support group: Recently, I attended a group therapy training (as someone who typically leads 4-5 groups per week, I feel that it's important to continue to hone my skills). During the training, I kept reflecting on my readership and how it approximates a live support or therapy group--how you influence one another (and me) with supportive, but honest, feedback; how you are able to express your feelings and ideas so articulately; how you, through this blog (and its many sisters) have helped develop a community that is loving, respectful and working to empower each other and ourselves.

For this, I thank you. . .

The Anti-Diet Center

In a couple of weeks, I'll be moving my office about a block away from my current location. Not a big deal, right?

I'll be moving into a suite already occupied by a social worker and a neurologist. Perfect.

Now, here's the hitch: There are two other office suites (both in clear view) on our floor. One's a physical therapy office, the other, a nationally recognized diet center.

When I went to look at the office for the first time, I paused in front of the diet center. "What's wrong?" the social worker, who was showing me the suite, asked. "I'm just having a reaction to the diet center. I do a lot of anti-diet work." Oh, the irony, I thought.

It actually factored into my decision-making process. Should I not take the suite given its proximity to the diet center? Should I tempt my clients, whom I educate with anti-diet approaches, by offering them a chance to diet. . . on the exact same floor?

Ultimately, it wasn't enough of a detraction, and I'm scheduled soon to move. I'm also scheduled to begin an intuitive eating/body image group (essentially, an anti-diet group). I have a fantasy of erecting a sign advertising the title of this post. As clients exit the elevator, it'll say "Go left!" (toward my office), because dieting is "right," but often leads us in the wrong direction.

Mass Appeal

Snooping through The New York Times "Book Review" section this weekend (when one wants to publish her own book, this kind of research is always illuminating), I came across the "Advice, How To, and Miscellaneous Section." Under the paperback list, here are the top four books, in order:

1. The Wisdom of Menopause. Making menopause a time of personal empowerment,and physical and emotional health.

2. Skinny Bitch. Vegan diet advice from the world of modeling.

3. Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom. Advice and information on nutrition, fertility, hormone replacement, sexuality and more.

4. What to Expect When You're Expecting. Advice for parents-to-be.

With all this focus on women's bodies, several questions emerged:

1. First, why are these the top four books on the NYT list? What does it say about women and our bodies?

2. Where are the men's books?

3. Is the "wisdom" referred to twice (and the joy of impending childbirth) enough to counteract Skinny Bitch?

4. Is there really a place for EWHAED (or alternate title)?

5. Which of these have you read? Any comments?

Halloween Post-Mortem

Don't you just love it when someone puts in print exactly what you've been thinking? Well, what we've all been thinking? Take Halloween. . . and women's costumes. . . Just the other day I was having a conversation with another woman about how no matter which costume you choose, you're ultimately going as a sexpot.

And, then, I come home to my copy of New York Magazine, where in an article entitled, "Halloween Is For Lovers," a male friend of the authors, named Chris, is quoted as saying, "'Women should wear anything with a short skirt and nylons. . . . Nurse, witch, angel, janitor--it's all the same costume, just different colors.'"

He's right. It really doesn't matter if you're a pirate or a wench, a dominatrix or a nun, you'll pretty much look the same.

The writers, "Em & Lo," weigh in:

Em thinks sexy costumes are only slightly less annoying than those Axe Bodyspray commercials and are for women who are too chickenshit to dress provocatively the rest of the year. Lo, on the other hand, sees nothing wrong with a holiday that sanctions a little light role-playing for everyone. . . .

My question is: Are our costumes designed to attract men, or are we, ourselves, chomping at the bit for a bit of exhibitionism, playing out a playful fantasy on our own? Are we slutting it out for others or ourselves, or do we no longer know the difference?

Tyra Today

Thanks to my alert readers who informed me that The Tyra Show will be covering "The Vagina Dialogues" (yes, that's what she called it, too!) If you have some time (or a DVR), check it out!

Eight Things

Inspired by April's challenge, posed here--Eight Things I Like About My Body:

1) My height
2) My large, expressive eyes
3) My strength (the look and function of muscles)
4) The softeness of my hair
5) My big, white smile, used somewhat judiciously
6) My (word of the day) countenance, capable of conveying almost every emotion, sans words
7) My walking stride, which is unintentially "bouncy," allowing me to appear quite peppy
8) My solid legs, which have held up, with minor exceptions, the last few months and which I hope will send me sailing on Sunday!

Now, your turn. What are your eight things?