Celestial Bodies

Newsflash: Kim Kardashian has cellulite. Now Kim, who has one of the most beautiful bodies in Hollywood (according to moi), recently spoke up about the Complex Magazine photos that surfaced, alerting us to the truth about her pre-photoshopped bod.


On her official website, Kim responded:

Complex later replaced the pic with the photoshopped version, causing all of this drama. But you know what, who cares!

So what: I have a little cellulite. What curvy girl doesn't!?

How many people do you think are photoshopped? It happens all the time!

At the same time as this Complex shoot, I was gearing up for my fitness DVD and you should see my thighs now!!! Haha!

This all motivates me to stay in the gym because my goal this year has been to get in better shape and tone up! Hard work pays off!

I'm proud of my body and my curves and this picture coming out is probably helpful for everyone to see that just because I am on the cover of a magazine doesn't mean I'm perfect.

What do you think about her response?

And now, the time has come where we must talk about Michelle Obama's body, mostly because we might miss the bandwagon if we don't. With a woman as well-credentialed as she, it's a shame our focus must land on her shape, but her body and clothing have gotten her more attention than anything else. And, how we love to talk about her arms. . .

AP Photo

A couple of people have mentioned that perhaps Michelle Obama's presence will usher in a new, larger, body ideal (with the idea that she isn't as tiny as former first ladies. . . Nancy Reagan and Jackie O come to mind). I've heard her described as "normal-sized" (whatever that means), and many suggest that she's because she's not a thin woman, she represents the masses.

Terry McMillan, in a piece in New York Magazine, praises Michelle's body, noting her to be a new role model for Black women, where "large lips" and "big behinds" may now find some acceptance. McMillan writes:

In recent weeks, so much focus has been placed on Michelle Obama's biceps, but I'm much more excited about the rest of her body. Especially her hips. Those beautiful curves are hopefully sending a message to women of all ethnicities. . . that having some meat on your bones is and always has been a blessing you don't have to be ashamed of. I think she should make a video: The First Lady's Guide to Fitness and Self-Love or something. Every time I see her on television or in a magazine, I get goose bumps and my cheeks hurt from smiling because she represents us. . . .

Do you agree with McMillan? Does Michelle really represent us? To me, she's a thin, toned woman whose media presence won't necessarily pave the way for a more inclusive body ideal.

Stories: Part VI

I heart mail (reprinted with permission):

Dear Dr. Stacey,

I am new to your blog, and for the past few days I've been reading it as voraciously as I would a paperback, mystery beach-read. You really hammer home issues that I've both consciously pondered and avoided. Although I would like us to be a community of body-happy women, I selfishly can take some comfort in the fact that I am not alone in my struggles.

Up until a couple of years ago, I always thought I had a healthy body image. One of my best friends in high school struggled with anorexia, then bulimia, then a vicious cycle of both. I was the closest to her at the time, and my own worry for her well-being, coupled with teenage angst, caused me to lose a bit of weight as well. I never really considered it at the time, with all the eating issues that circulated high school, I was healthy in comparison. Only now can I look back and see that I seemed to have a little of what was going around. Throughout college, my weight was never an issue, I noticed when I got stressed that pounds would actually, subconsciously, drop away. I'm an outdoorsy, sporty person, but never made a task of going to the gym. Only when I graduated, moved to NY (land of delicious take out) and started a more desk/sedentary lifestyle did I begin to notice my clothes were a little tighter...

About two years ago, I made a conscious decision to start eating healthier and got a gym membership. The token '5 lbs' that I had wanted to lose came off, and I continued on my new routine. My weight dropped lower. I've always been athletic, and at 5'3 am probably healthiest at my average weight of 120. A few pounds may not mean much, but working out daily and restricting calories caused a loss that dropped me into a less practical range. I thought this weight loss was akin to health, but my constant hunger, and increasing unwillingness to take a day off from the gym lest I feel guilty, told me otherwise.

I didn't listen to these signals, and one day found myself devouring whatever I could find in the apartment. Food was always on my mind; I wasn't even finished chewing my first meal of the day, while already plotting & yearning for my second. My 'splurge' takeout meal on Sunday nights would get me through the week, and once I got there I'd eat so much, preparing for the hibernation of the week to come, causing the most uncomfortable feeling. Overall, I was confused by these binges- I was eating so healthily, why did I have to do this? I started eating bigger meals at night and eased up on the restriction, but the binging continued sporadically. I still remember the day that I decided I hated being so uncomfortably full, and decided to purge. I was angry and baffled at myself, and all I could think of was my friend from high school. I was in my mid-twenties- why was this happening to me now? I saw girls go through it, and I know the havoc it can wreak on your body and emotions, but here I was, voluntarily putting myself in the same position. My frustration continued, the binges continued, and so did the occasional purging, for about a year. It still frustrates me that I put myself through this situation, after all, I never wanted to be stick thin, and I believe when I look in the mirror I do see the real me, but I still chose to lose a few pounds because I felt tired and uncomfortable a lot of the time.

I gained a few pounds back- a struggle- but with that, I think I've gained some really healthy perspective. You asked a question a while ago in your blog if sites like yours are truly helpful, or detrimental, in the long run. I have to say, without sites like yours, it wouldn't have clicked that there was an actual explanation (D.I.E.T.) to what jump started such a rough period. I still struggle to get to the point where my body and food aren't daily worries, but I've learned to really listen to what I need to sustain myself. It sounds so elementary, but such an important reminder.

Unfortunately, I also truly believe in your title. Because of my own body insecurities, it's easier to recognize them in others. People who seem so comfortable in their own skin, as I'm sure I do to many, have their own quirks that betray an inner discomfort. My own roommate, curvy and beautiful, has always been uncomfortable in her own skin for as long as I've known her (6th grade) and will be the first to admit she doesn't like to be touched. She's recently dropped a few pounds and started dressing for her actual size, but said to me just yesterday how uncomfortable it makes her feel when someone compliments her. Even with our differing body-comfort zones, compliments pushed me to further my workout routine, and I feel they're doing the same subconsciously for her. I try to tell her how great she looks (she hasn't always gotten that) without harping on the subject. I've picked up a new tactic- with your help- 'refrain from comment.' For example, when out with friends or family, I try not to dwell on the 'indulgence' of the food, or reply if someone makes the token comment about how bad it is for them. I keep telling myself to just enjoy, it's OK. I'm trying to take the same course when comments are made about someone's figure, negative or positive- just refrain and let it play out as it may. It sure is tough to not shout at the TV when yet another spot on Jessica Simpson's (beautiful) body comes on!

I started this email simply to thank you for an informative and supportive blog; although I occasionally peruse sites like this, I'm never a commenter, so apologies for just letting loose in an email to you. I'd be surprised if you don't come across emails like this all the time! I could go on and on with my own thoughts and feelings, there are just endless things to say on the subject of body image in today's world.

Keep up the good work. . .

Rock, Paper, Denim

Now, I know we have bikini season to talk about. But, during our antebellum spring, let's reflect on the past couple of months. . . .

Right before the holidays, I saw a commercial (can't remember the product--not such great advertising!) that proclaimed: "Now's the time to find out who wins--you or your jeans?"

So, I pose the question to you: Who won? Personally, I'm taking the win because:

a) I have friends who are smaller than I, to whom I often gift clothing I've outgrown (in more ways than one).
b) I have a growing Goodwill stash.
c) My jeans, after all, are inanimate and I have a sharp pair of scissors and a compliant garbage can.

***
I'll add here, for lack of another venue in which to discuss this sentiment, that I'm deeply saddened by the passing of Natasha Richardson. What a wonderful actress, mother, and woman. . . News like this, for me, puts concerns like above in such startling perspective. I hope it does for you as well.

Supergirls

Liz Funk, author of, Supergirls Speak Out: Inside the Secret Crisis of Overachieving Girls, and I recently had a chance to chat. I interviewed her about her recently published book, which describes the proliferation of overly-booked, overly-pressured, overly-perfect young women. . . you know, the kind of teenager who plays three sports, aces her classes, dates successfully, and has the perfect body?

Were/are you a "Supergirl?" Can you identify negative consequences associated with this phenomenon? See below for our Q & A:

Were you a Supergirl, and as a 20-year-old writer who just had her first book published, speaker, and college student—are you still a Supergirl?

Yes, I was a total Supergirl and my earlier years in college and now I’m a recovering Supergirl. I still have a lot of Supergirl behaviors (e.g., trying to work too hard, trying to please everyone, being obsessed with my appearance), but I think in becoming cognizant of why I act this way, I can make an effort to enjoy being myself and be less of a Supergirl.

I’m curious where you grew up and if you see regional/cultural differences in this phenomenon?

I grew up in upstate NY in a little town about 20 minutes west of Albany and it was suburban/rural, but it was still very much a pressure cooker for teenagers. In researching my book, I talked to young women from all over the country (women of various ages, races, socio-economic statuses) and it seems that being a Supergirl is a nationwide issue. As I was researching, I tried to draw some conclusions, like, “Is this more of a suburban thing, or an urban thing?” which helped me come to my eventual conclusion that the media definitely spurs Supergirl behavior, just because it’s the one thing that touches the lives of all young women no mater where they grew up or how much money they grew up with.

Is being a Supergirl actually incompatible w/happiness?

On some level it is, because so many of the Supergirls who strive to do 100% in every aspect of their lives are really trying to compensate for some sort of internal unhappiness. I think you would be hard-pressed to find a young woman who is disappointed when she gets an A- or comes in 2nd place who is also comfortable in her own skin. I think so often being Supergirl is actually a defense.

How do you see the idea of Supergirl playing into eating disorders?

There are so many intersections between Supergirls and eating disorders. I think the first thing is that being a Supergirl and suffering from an eating disorder are both about control. I think of all the girls in this country, Supergirls are the ones who feel most pushed toward attempting physical perfection, but because there’s no such thing as physical perfection, I don’t think they know when to stop (stopping to lose weight or developing moderation in their exercise regimen). They become so desperate in their striving for perfection, they lose this understanding of a healthy body type and a healthy lifestyle.

If we discourage women from accomplishing or excelling (if we accept sub-par jobs and relationships, isn’t this taking a step back with regard to feminism?)

I don’t think the goal is to achieve less, I think the goal is to achieve in a healthier way. We want women to be able to be high achieving and successful, and do it in a way that makes them happy. Tina Fey’s character is a great example on 30 Rock—if Liz Lemon could approach her work day a little more leisurely, I think it would be the perfect example of remedying the Supergirl lifestyle without feminism taking a hit.

What’s are some of your ideas about how to break this cycle? Do Supermoms raise Supergirls?

I think that the first step in breaking this cycle comes from inside. Girls need to realize that they have value for reasons outside of how they look and what they do. I think Supergirls need to take some time for themselves and get some hobbies, learn to be alone with their thoughts, and start learning to enjoy spending time alone! In fact, I think that’s a great step one: Supergirls should all take themselves out to lunch and see how much fun they can have doing something for themselves and spending time with themselves, and take it from there!

I think in terms of the moms, overachieving moms today do set an example for their daughters, so I think that today’s moms need to set some boundaries in terms of how much time they spend doing stuff for other people. But moms are also a huge ally for their daughters, and I think that there are some really crucial conversations that Supergirls and their Supermoms can have about confronting the pressures that society and women put on them.

Philosophy 101 (And a Little Bit of Country)

I've been taking a philosophy class and recently, we addressed the topic: "What are you?" I'll spare you the introspection (read: Googling) and let you know that, philosophically, there are three aspects to the self:

Body
Mind
Heart

In class, the professor asked us to comment on these variables and an interesting discussion ensued. We spoke about which elements we know for sure exist, which tend to dominate our lives. I commented that women seem to be more identified with their bodies than men; in other words, a greater part of our self-definition arises from our bodies than it does for men.

I would have loved to have recorded the debate that followed--most women (one offered the prevalence of wealthy men with "arm candy/trophy wives" as proof) and some men agreed, as I provided socio-biological explanations for why a woman's appearance matters more, but a couple of men (including the instructor) seemed to be taken aback. I offered everything from evolutionary choices (as did an orthopod in the room--we scientists are so transparent) to the differential incidence of eating disorders by gender to prove my point.

As I'm writing this post, I'm thinking of country music (you made the same leap, too, huh?) A number of country music performers have recently crossed over into pop. If you haven't been following pop hits (or itunes favorites), some country artists have high-ranking singles on the charts. But, why is it that certain artists are able to cross over to a larger audience and others aren't? Is it strictly a function of talent?

My hypothesis is that it has to do with their marketability and, specifically, that female country artists are marketable if they happen to be young and pretty (think Carrie Underwood, Taylor Swift, Kellie Pickler). How many unattractive female country artists have made the transition so seamlessly? How many men have made the switch? Top ranking Keith Urban's popularity seems largely derived from his marriage to an attractive female star.

Are women, in fact, more identified with their bodies (by others and themselves), or was I arguing an antiquated point?

Stacey's Secret

Have you seen Victoria Secret's new swimsuit collection? Or, rather, I should ask, have you seen their new swimsuit campaign? Here's a taste:


Apologies for the sub-par photography--yes, that's her foot next to her bikini bottom. This spread appears street side at their new flagship store. I have to confess, sometimes I lie on the beach like this myself. I find that not only does it attract more attention, but it also happens to be a great quadriceps stretch.

All the Right Places

So, Kate Moss gained some weight. "I just put on a couple pounds and they went in the right place," she says in New York Magazine. I read that at first and wondered, "What is the right place?" But, we all know the "right" places, assuming that there are any, true? And, clearly, there are "wrong" places, no need to mention those, right?

Well, maybe there is, because some of you may assume that a "wrong" place to gain weight is one's backside. Not so, New York Magazine insists, as evidenced by their focus on Kate's:



As you can see from the photo, Moss has put on a bit of weight, not a difficult accomplishment from her days of heroin-chic. Many women would fret about gaining weight "back there," but not Kate, nor the editors of New York, as now, Kate simply has a backside. I'm left thinking that there aren't necessarily culturally acceptable "right" and "wrong" places to gain weight, but rather culturally acceptable "right" amounts of weight to gain. If you're underweight, it's okay to add a few pounds. If you're not, you better watch your placement.

What do you think?

Working it Out (with Kids)

For how to apply the post below to conversations with your children, see here.

Working it Out

I've been taking a new (to me) class at the gym that focuses on interval training. I love the way it makes me stretch, offering a challenging alternative to my solo workouts. The instructor's great: energetic, positive, and pushes students only as far as they'd like to be pushed. But, the other day, she began to talk in class about her dessert consumption. "I ate some cake the other night, and it went right here!" (pointing to outer thighs) Later on in the class, she again mentioned consuming cake and cookies and said, "Who else was eating cookies? I know I'm not the only one!" (As in, let's all work that much harder--we must work off our sweets!)

Just a bit of background in case you're confused as to why I found this troubling: Cookies and cake are not bad. We do not need to atone for eating them through exercise. Exercise (with or without cookies/cake) is beneficial to our physical and psychological health.

Ok, so what does an eating disorder psychologist (who also has a fitness background)do in a situation like this? I like the class, but dislike those kinds of messages. And, I have a bit of a political agenda, truth be told. So, I approached the instructor after class and told her I had enjoyed it, but had a small concern. I mentioned the work I do and the prevalence of eating disorders. I even spectulated on the incidence of eating disorders among class participants (yes, I know not EWHAED, but if I had to gamble, I'd say rates might be higher in this class than in the general population). I explained to the instructor that comments that linked exercise to food might be triggering for some, unhelpful to many, and that I always appreciate a dialogue that focuses on the health and wellness benefits of exercise, rather than its role in calorie management. I tried to convey this in a casual way, as I can imagine feeling a bit on the defensive if approached with similar feedback. So, here's the kicker--she says, "You're right, you're totally right. Actually, I'm a social worker."

Weight Bias

Yale University's Rudd Center for Food Policy and Obesity recently published a couple of online videos regarding weight bias. The first involves weight bias against children, both at school and in the home. The other focuses on weight bias amongst healthcare professionals. What can you do to help reduce the incidence of weight bias?

Too Fat, Too Thin, What's a Girl to Do?

Did you happen to catch this?

Is it a step in the right direction (that we're more accepting of a healthier size and newly critical of "too-thin") or do the results just represent more of the same judgment and criticism of women's bodies, when we should be focusing on something else? (e.g., Holmes reportedly was a Broadway success) What do you think?

Student Health

Karen, over at Some of My Other Random Thoughts, emailed me an excerpt from one of her recent posts. Check it out:

Last week, I went to the student health center to get an allergy prescription. I'm a grad student and student health is free! I still have to pay for the prescription because I don't have health insurance for the moment, but the appointment is free! Maybe you get what you pay for, because it was a weird little experience that I've probably retold to five or six different people in the last seven days.

The nurse had me step on the scale in the hallway. I did, and watched the number appear, all digital style, the same number I've been frowning at when standing on the YMCA scale, jiggling the non-digital balance thingy, hoping it'll bounce up, er, down, a little.

The nurse, on the other hand, was shocked at the number. Not because she knows me (never seen her before) or saw that I'd gained a significant amount since my last visit (I haven't) or was even looking at my chart. She was shocked because, as she put it, "Wow. You do not look like you weigh that much!"

I chuckled or snorted or something, perhaps slightly uncomfortable, but not hearing the alarm bells that later reflection told me I should have heard. My people-pleasing kicked in, and I said, with a little slap to my, ahem, outer thigh, "It's all in my hips!"

"Seriously," the nurse continued, unable to impress this upon me with only one inappropriate comment, "You do NOT look like you weigh that much."

Heh, heh, I might have said. I went into the room, briefly chatted with the doctor, got my script, and I was gone. It wasn't until after class, on my hour-long drive home, that I thought, Huh. Something was not right about that.

I probably should write a letter to the medical director, as more than one of my post-event confidantes told me. I should probably include in that letter that no staff member should ever comment on a woman's (or any patient's) weight while weighing them and writing the number in the chart. If a comment needs to be made, as it might, about significant gain or loss, or concerns about medical complications, it should be made by the primary provider, in a sensitive, confidential way.

Here's the thing. I think she thought she was complimenting me. "Wow, you look skinnier than that number!" or "Wow, you look like you weigh ten pounds less!" But isn't there also a subtext:
"Wow, that's a high number!" or "Wow, you don't look that fat!" And what about this? What if I were recovering from or still dealing with an eating disorder? This is university student health. I know I'm 36 and don't flatter myself that I look 18, but eating disorders have been around since my college days. If it bothered me, who has never been particularly obsessed or concerned about my weight, what would it have done to someone who was finally at a "normal" weight after years of anorexia or bulimia. What if I'd heard negative things about my weight through my whole life from my mother or other important role models? (And isn't that A LOT of women?)

Reactions to Karen's experience?

What If?

From the talented Gavin DeGraw:

I don't want to be
Anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do
Is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms
Wondering what I've got to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me

I wonder what would happen to the incidence of eating disorders if we could all grab hold of this. . . .

Seriously, Kristen?

You may recall seeing actress Kristen Johnston drop an alarming amount of weight this past summer. Reports vary, but it seems Ms. Johnston lost something in the neighborhood of 40 (or 60?) pounds, which she attributes, in various media reports, to experiencing a burst ulcer. Skeptics suggested that, instead, she struggled with an eating disorder, but it's important to keep in mind that we have no clear confirmation either way (unless some reader of this blog is either her therapist or her gastroenterologist and is willing to breach patient confidentiality in order to clear up any misunderstandings).

But here's my concern. . . . Recently, on TMZ (I know, not the best news source, nowhere near the caliber of responsible journalism typical of People or Page Six), Johnston reported she had no idea she had lost the weight. Hold on a sec--she had no idea she lost 40 pounds? Even if she never set foot on a scale, wouldn't she maybe have had a moment where she tried on a pair of jeans and had said pair fall directly to the floor? How can you not know you've lost 40 pounds? What was the thought process as her clothing fell off her then emaciated frame? "My personal assistant must have secretly taken my wardrobe to the tailor and had everything taken out, why I don't know, but, yes, that's clearly what must have happened"?

*Please vote on the title if you haven't already. Your input is tremendously important to me--I'm even curious what you think about the results so far. . . .

Back to the Beginning

I'm starting to think about seriously shopping around my book and wanted your opinion. A while back, I asked about my working title and wondered about other possibilities. I thank you all for your suggestions--I just offered some in a poll (scroll down and look to your right). I'd appreciate your feedback, and if it's "other," please feel free to comment here with your idea.

Bridal Wars

Dropping weight for your upcoming wedding? Planning on it? In the current issue of Modern Bride, Abby Ellin tackles the phenomenon of the newly betrothed (many who are already quite thin) taking extreme measures to lose weight before their big day. The proliferation of bridal boot camps and Bulging Brides reinforce the idea that no matter how thin you are, you must be thinner to walk down the aisle. Check out the article if you get a chance--Ellin effectively covers an alarming trend that has become the norm and, to my excitement, quotes me!

The New Yorker Article

Did anyone happen to catch this? If not, give it a read. I know it's supposed to be funny, I really do, but I still felt compelled to comment on a few points. See my letter to the editor below:

Dear Editor:

As a clinical psychologist specializing in eating disorders in private practice here in NY and at Columbia University Medical Center, I took great interest in Amy Ozol's "Looking Your Best" (in the January 5th issue). To be clear, I understand that most of what Ms. Ozol writes she writes in humor, and psychologists of all people understand the importance of maintaining a sense of humor. Still, there are some statements that cross even that line--if I had a dollar for every time I tell a layperson I specialize in eating disorders, that someone says, "Oh, I wish I had anorexia," I'd be looking toward early retirement.

Ozol's piece is funny and offers a number of truths related to healthy weight-loss or -maintenance. However, there are a couple of objections I have that I believe fall beyond even the clearly humorous spirit of the piece. Ozol mentions visualizing eating food and spitting it out as a possible weight-loss technique. Frequent chewing and spitting is actually an eating-disordered behavior and would be clinically diagnosed as Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified.

Ozol also recommends using psychotropic medications in order to allay distress associated with emotional eating. This is, in fact, helpful for a number of patients. But, what Ozol fails to mention is how closely linked disordered eating and substance abuse are. Commonly, patients replace one set of behaviors with another, so there is concern for abuse potential of psychiatric medications, particularly when the classes of medication prescribed are addictive (such as benzodiazepines, including popular drugs like Xanax, Klonopin, and Valium).

As another recommendation, Ozol suggests surrounding yourself "with thin people." Unfortunately, there happens to be a lot of competition (particularly between women) around weight. Again, Ozol is using humor, recommending gastric bypass surgery in order to correct a discrepancy between friends. But beyond this, it's important to realize that competition between women can have deleterious effects on mood and self-esteem (and on relationships between women and even our standing in the world), consequently even causing, in some cases, the emotional eating to which Ozol refers earlier on.

Finally, Ozol reflects on the relationship between weight and socio-economic status when she writes about donating "fat clothes" to charity: "Refrain from donating anything to charity, as this could cause underprivileged people to become obese, which would be unsavory and possibly even illegal." Funny, yes, but also inaccurate--the percentage of low-income individual who are fat is quite high--related possibly to genetics, insufficient access to unprocessed foods and balanced meals (a meal from McDonald's is cheaper than one from Whole Foods, right?), and a lack of time and access to participate in physical activity. This truth, too, is lost in Ozol's comic recommendations.

Oh, O

I know, I know, y'all want to hear more about Oprah's weight gain. In the latest issue of her magazine, Oprah asks: "How Did I Let This Happen Again?"

I don't want to point any fingers, but maybe, just maybe, it has something to do with this. When are we all going to figure out that if diets are imprisoning, cleanses are the solitary confinement of food restriction? Is there anyone out there who's cleansed without, when all's said and done, gaining any compensatory weight? A cleanse is too restrictive to live by, and the body and mind inevitably rebel from a period of deprivation.

Still, I hate to talk about her weight. I hate that she's talking about her weight. She's one of the world's most powerful, influential women, and the most newsworthy item about her is what happens when she steps on the scale?

Fat Tax

And, what do you think about this?

Hello, Skinny!

There's a big sign in the contemporary jeans section at Bloomingdale's that, in an ode to the skinny jeans trend, reads: "My Skinny Is Skinnier Than Your Skinny."

Um, ok. . .

I googled the phrase to find out more about this particular advertising campaign and serendipitously stumbled on this.

Thoughts?

Book Review

I just finished Such a Pretty Fat: One Narcissist's Quest To Discover if Her Life Makes Her Ass Look Big, Or Why Pie is Not The Answer and wanted to discuss it here. Author Jen Lancaster also penned Bitter Is the New Black and Bright Lights, Big Ass (have you read them?), but it was this title that grabbed my attention at the local book store.

Quick disclaimer--for those with clinical eating disorders, this book could be triggering, as Ms. Lancaster's book deal is based upon her losing weight. For the "Every Woman" variety, I don't believe this piece will be triggering, but rather that you'll find yourself identifying with much of what Ms. Lancaster has to say. To be clear, it's kind of a diet book, but it's an anti-diet, diet book. You'll see what I mean. . . .

What surprises me most about her book is Ms. Lancaster's general acceptance of her weight (at any size), her ability to take weight gain in stride, and her sense of humor about it all. All this despite some challenging formulative experiences:

My mom was so damn mad at me after my freshman year, especially once she saw me in a bathing suit for the first time. I went from 135 pounds to 150 and you'd have thought I'd flunked out given her reaction. She always used to tell me her greatest fear was that I'd walk across the stage at my high school graduation overweight. Really? I remember thinking. With forty girls in my school who'd either gotten pregnant or had babies, this is her issue?

In reaction to her parents beginning officiating weekly weigh-ins, Lancaster writes:

I desperately hated the whole process, especially because I had no choice in the matter. I knew being heavier didn't change who I was, and I was furious at being forced to alter something about which I felt perfectly fine.

How many college students do you know with this kind of persepctive? More to the point, how many full-grown adults can say this for themselves?

When Ms. Lancaster begin her weight-loss journey (the point of this particular book deal), she weighs herself a couple of times in disbelief:

I trot down the hall--which I can do because I'm not completely obese--and try to calm myself down. I'm totally overreacting here. I am fine. I know I'm fine. Whatever I weigh is just a number. I'm fun and smart and I can perfectly blend three shades of eyeliner. I enjoy my own company and I make myself laugh. I dress well, even on a budget while wearing Crocs, and no one makes a banana daiquiri like I can.

I suppose it's not that surprising that she was alarmed by her weight--she chooses to focus on so much more. I find her attitude incredibly refreshing, particularly in a current cultural context that demands we focus on looks at the expense of all else.

Lancaster writes about our obsession with thin celebrities:

[Nicole Ritchie] really didn't get famous until she got pin thin. Ditto Kate Bosworth and Lindsay Lohan. And no one would have even remembered Mary Kate Olsen if she'd just eaten a sandwich once in a while. This makes me wonder how much the media plays into the self-image of [dieters]. Did they call Jenny because fashion and gossip magazines force photos of hungry women down our throats and try to make us believe their boyish bodies are the ideal? If so, we're all destined to fail.

Personally, I never want to be as thin as most of the women in this magazine; they look gross to me. The only ribs I want to see are covered in barbecue sauce.

Ms. Lancaster has had her share of weight-loss experiences, illustrating why diets don't work:

Consuming a thousand calories a day with very little protein, I felt lightheaded and weak every second for three whole months. I wasn't just hungry. I was famished. Starving. Ravenous. Not only did I want to consume my parents' cooking in vast quantities; I was in such a state that I'd look at the love of my life, a 140-pound Great Pyrenees mountain dog named George, and I'd fantasize about his tender, meaty flanks, charbroiled over a hickory-wood fire and served with a side of home fries.

Perhaps most illuminating is Ms. Lancaster's realization that food restriction can work against us. She chats with a friend:

"Funny, but when I'm not dieting I can go hours and hours without thinking about food. Some days when I'm busy it might be four in the afternoon before I remember to eat something. But now that I'm doing Atkins*, all I can think about are bagels and donuts and Lucky Charms cereal, and I'm making myself crazy."

(Spoiler alert)

In the end, Ms. Lancaster does lose some weight, and it's no surprise how. But, if you read closely, you can't help but realize that her weight-loss is just another life task for her (like writing a book, or learning a skill), accomplished with curiosity, humor, and positivity, the inspriational outcome atypically disengaged from her self-esteem.

*I had a typo on "Atkins" and guess what? Spellcheck on Blogger corrected it for me.

More on Thanksgiving

An email advertising this post-Thanksgiving day workout arrived in my inbox last week. Sure, exercise is an important part of a healthy lifestyle, but can you can you identify any problems with an advertisement like this?

On Thanksgiving

Recently, I overheard the following exchange:

"What are you doing for Thanksgiving?"

"We're going to the so-and-so's. They're having 20 dishes. It's disgusting. I'm going to bring a salad for myself."

I read somewhere that Americans consume an average of 4,500 calories at their annual Thanksgiving meals. As we all know, what began as a feast of gratitude has morphed into a national binge. Many people report feeling uncomfortably full after their meal. Sure, we all eat past fullness on occasion, but the culturally sanctioned degree here is cause for concern, as nausea trumps satiety with the rationale that we're all in this together.

In response, especially for people who struggle with disordered eating and body image, there's Thanksgiving day anxiety. . . or disgust. 20 dishes? That sounds like a smorgasbord of wonderful opportunity--a chance to sample a little bit of this, a little bit of that. But, because we don't trust ourselves to do this, because we see such occasions (similar to cruises) as respite from the shackles of dieting, we go overboard.

So, where does moderation lie? Somewhere between 4,500 calories and carting along a salad as armor against the spread. . .

Have You Gained Weight?

Several weeks back, I attended a therapy conference, one that meets several times a year. Because of I've been to a few of these, I've come to know some of the members of this particular group. On the first night of the conference, I ran into another psychologist. I smiled at him as we passed each other in the hall and he said, in greeting, "Have you gained weight?"

Sigh.

No one at this conference knows about my EWHAED idea, so I decided to broach the topic the next day. When we met in a smaller group, with said colleague included, I mentioned how he had greeted me the night before and why this struck a nerve. Outside of a moment of snarkiness (which I feel obligated to report), I explained to him why the focus on weight is troubling to me, why it is troubling to all of us.

"Did you stop to think I was noticing your body?" he explained.

Yes, I did. Not helping.

"I just remember that when I met you last year, you were training for the marathon."

Still not helping.

I explained to the group that this reinforces the idea that women are noticed/judged for their bodies at the expense of other attributes. And, then, I said what seemed to shock the group the most, something I've written here before: "By the way, I also don't want you to ask if I've lost weight."

"Then, what are we supposed to say?" another male colleague asked, clearly frustrated by the parameters I set.

"Nothing! You don't need to say anything about my body or about the way I look. I can connect with you in so many ways, outside of my appearance. Can't we focus on that?"

I think I eventually got my point across, but I'm still marvelling at how difficult it was to make, ironically, in a room full of mental health professionals. Should I have taken on this battle? What would you have said?

Pretty Girls

Recently, I saw a play, containing a line of dialogue that sparked a lot of thought. The female lead character announced (paraphrased, I believe): "All little girls should be told they're pretty, even if they aren't."

Questions: 1) Should we routinely tell our little girls they're pretty? 2) Should we do this even if they're not? I'm curious about your take. . . .

Stories: Part V

A reader named Stina recently sent me a letter, entitled: "Edie, Me, and the Whole Dang World":

Dr. Stacey,

I'm a newlywed, married to a man who still gives me butterflies, who adores every bit of me, and who I know would do anything to make me happy. I have a job that many people envy, and most wouldn't consider work at all. I live in a house that is lovely and perfectly-sized. I have two cats that I treat like children. I have a great family. My close friends are incredible. I have all this. . .but I'm still unhappy.

How is this possible? What is it that makes me unhappy? What do I still crave, and what is holding me back?

It's not a what, but a who. And her name is Edie. And what do I crave? To be rid of her.

Your blog has helped me re-connect with fighting her and learning to live a life free of her incessant, caustic remarks. I came across your blog as I was searching for validation for my frustration at our general society as a whole. The magazines that woman are suppose to be drawn to (because they talk about issues we. apparently, deem "important") bombard us with contradicting messages, so that even if we were trying to be happy and healthy (as so many magazine shove us the secrets and tools on just how to do this) they fill it with pages critiquing the weight of someone and the weight loss of someone else. Even magazines whose sole purpose is to show us how to treat our bodies better - like, Self, for instance - stuff their pages with diet pills and ads, giving us the option of either listening to their latest exercise regime, or finding the quick fix in a supplement pill.

I'm tired of it all, and most of all, I'm tired of the pressure I've placed on myself to meet those standards. I invited Edie into my life so I could get to that ideal - that perfect size so I could have the perfect life. She has been with me for 11 years, and instead she has given me misery.

I'm not sure when Edie and I first met. I remember an aunt of mine, who I always noticed was incredibly self-critical of her own weight and looks, once looked at my nine-year old legs and declared dejectedly, "You have the family thighs too." I knew she did not mean this as a compliment and began looking at my legs in a new way. I hadn't truly noticed the flaw in them before, but I always felt felt something was different about me - and not in a good way. And perhaps now I had an answer - it was my huge thighs!

Maybe it was then that Edie came into my life. She was almost transparent at first, I hardly acknowledged her, but I acquiesced her judgments and resigned them as "help". She would tell me secrets on how to be more popular, for more people to like me, and let me in on the reasons why people did not like me: I was not pretty enough. And the only thing holding me back was my weight.

Edie continued to hover by my side through the rest of my life - popping in on nights of big occasions - like prom - examining my stomach and showing me how to position my hands in pictures to cover the rounded area. She was there when bad things happened - like when I broke up with my first real boyfriend. She knew the perfect way to get back at him was to show him he meant nothing, to look better than I ever did, and the only way to do that was to throw up any morsel I ate, so no fat would linger on my body.

She was there, constantly with her critiques, her thoughts, her non-stop chatter about my body and my weight and my looks - pushing me to be better, encouraging me to punish myself if I ate too much, and chastising me for thinking a boy thought I was cute. Impossible, she would whisper. You're too fat to be cute.

And then I met my husband, who Edie hates. I met him and he told me Edie was crazy - that I was, in fact, gorgeous, that I was smart and intelligent and funny, and that was all me - Edie didn't create that.

The more I listened to him, the more Edie screamed at me to listen to her. She fought with me bitterly to keep me all to herself, but she didn't win. I married that man, and learned to tune her out or at least quiet her dismay. I spent my whole wedding and honeymoon without her, and it was amazing. But, it's as though now I'm back in the "real world", where true happiness can not last because I am not a size 2, I do not have a flat stomach, and my thighs are not sticks. Looking back at wedding pictures, her voice is still there, complimenting me on how I held my bouquet to disguise my stomach, and shaking her head disdainfully at the pictures of me eating cake.

Edie never really left, and Edie never will. I will live my whole life with an E.D. (eating disorder) and I've got to find a way to really learn to live without listening to her - without giving strength to her thoughts. I want to thank you for your blog for helping me to continue on my journey, to know that I am not alone with wanting to not only change myself, but change the world -especially for all the young girls that are about to find out from society that they just aren't good enough until they disappear.

After writing this, Stina decided to start her own blog. You can stop and say hello here.

News Feed

Thanks to the EWHAED news sleuths who forwarded me these:

1) The concept of fining overweight athletes--what do you think?

2) Think your flu-induced weight-loss must be temporary? Think again. Reactions?

Ending Fat Talk

Check out this new video from the sorority, Delta Delta Delta.

Love it.

NYC Menu Labeling

A colleague and I are working on an article about New York City menu labeling laws--if you live in NYC, you probably already noticed calorie counts posted on in-store menu boards. Menu labeling is now a law--restaurants with 15 or more locations nationwide are required to post calorie counts.

For now, I'd like to look at a number of assumptions inherent to menu labeling laws.

1)Consumers don’t already have an idea about the caloric content of their favorite foods: Those most likely to respond to calorie postings likely already have a sense about the nutritional information of the foods they’re eating. They’ve read the pamphlets or scoured the internet in order to reduce their caloric intake. In-store menu labeling may encourage consumers to base more and more of their food decisions on caloric amounts, leading to greater food restriction, a pathway to clinical eating disorders. For those who already struggle with eating disorders, menu labeling can be emotionally triggering, as patients in recovery work quite diligently to remove their shift from calorie counting.

2)Consumers are concerned about caloric content and will choose lower calorie foods: Another subset of consumers represents those that typically eat higher calorie diets, enjoy their dining out, and aren’t particularly interested in calorie counting. Customers at fast food restaurants, for instance, are often driven by taste and cost, and likely won’t be swayed by caloric labeling.

3)Reducing calories is the only way to promote healthier eating: Another pitfall with caloric labeling is that only the calorie count is posted. Therefore, there is a potential for consumers to choose lower calorie foods, while disregarding other variables such as protein, carbohydrate, fat, and fiber content, along with the host of vitamins and minerals that certain foods contain. An eight-ounce glass of skim milk is more caloric than a similarly sized serving of Diet Soda, but the milk is more nutritious.

4)Consumers will be able to sustain a lower calorie diet, requiring them to sacrifice what they prefer to eat: It’s estimated that over 95% of all diets fail, as humans do not respond well to the experience of deprivation—whatever weight is lost through dieting is often regained (and then some) as we compensate for a period of deprivation. If we make food choices based on caloric information, rather than on what we crave, we’ll begin to feel deprived, just as dieters do. Food choices based on food cravings (“I feel like a cheese sandwich for lunch” vs. “I should have a salad”), as part of a balanced overall diet, are more likely to be associated with healthier attitudes toward food and reduced incidence of overeating.

Does Your Facebook Make You Fat?

An article in The Washington Post reports that Facebook users who come across dieting ads may actually be setting themselves up. Advertisers are privy to the type of person you are based on your profile and the content of messages you send. A lot of diet talk? Muffin top, you are.

What type of ads appear on your Facebook (or other favorite web page) home? Does this relate to what you reveal?

The Leptin Connection

New research on the science of weight focuses on leptin, a hormone associated with regulating food intake. If your leptin levels are sufficient, when you eat, they signal satiety to the brain. "You've had enough" or "You're full," the leptin communicates. So, what effect does dieting have on leptin levels and what happens when leptin levels are insufficient?

A new study by Columbia University Medical Center, published in July's Journal of Clinical Investigation, suggests that obese participants who dieted down to lower weights experienced significant reductions in leptin. . . related to increased food intake. Implications for weight loss? When you diet, your body works overtime to help you re-gain the weight, explaining why over 95% of all diets fall.

The Columbia Medical Center Record quotes Dr. Rudolph Leibel, an investigator on the project:

Weight gain is unfortunately very common following otherwise successful weight reduction. . . . Brain images confirm that the body is subject to powerful biological forces that regulate food intake--forces that are beyond an individual's conscious control. Obese people who may have struggled to shed 20 pounds will have lower blood levels of leptin that will cause persistent hunger. Combined with reduced energy expenditure--also caused by lower leptin--that's the perfect storm for re-gaining the weight.

Just Not Fat

Eva Longoria insists she's not pregnant. In order to quell the pregnancy rumors, inspired by photos like the one above, she announced: "I'm just fat!" Costar Felicity Huffman reiterated Longoria's announcement, telling People: "She's just fat, that’s all there is to it!"

Longoria might be pregnant, or she may have gained a few pounds. Whatever it is, she's just not fat. Calling her so dilutes our struggle for fat acceptance, akin to the tongue-in-cheek acceptance of a blackface person of color.

Happy is the New Thin

There's this book I'd like to read, Thin is the New Happy. Have you read it? Then, there's this post (yes, this one) I'd like to write, and when I think of a launching point, somehow, that book title comes to mind. Except in this case, I unconsciously flip flop the terms.

Happy is the new thin.

Out with the thin, in with the happy (or in with both, if that's just the way you are). But, out with trying so hard to be thin. Out with depriving ourselves of what we want, of abusing our bodies, both with actions and with words. In with happy. . . in with good coffee. . . and in with the remnants of summer sun, peaking in my office window, warming my shoulders as if to say farewell.

As fall arrives, I'm acutely aware that we're supposed to be doing something about our weight. Yes, I realize that bikini season is closing its doors, but still, there is something, right? Are we supposed to be "shaping up for fall?" With "back to school," do we go back to our diets? Enough lollygagging about, what with flirty drinks and sand-crusted beach chairs and lengthy summer reads. . . . or, maybe it was a particularly active summer, in which case, it's going to take a lot to keep that up. . . not enough time in the day. . . better start cutting back, watching what we eat.

There's always something.

How about nothing?

Happy is the new thin.

Have a Minute?

Want equal coverage for e.d.'s and other psychiatric matters? If you have a free moment today, please contact your local Representative, using the instructions below, provided by the American Psychological Association. We're getting awfully close to mental health parity, but insurance companies are still taking advantage of certain loopholes (e.g., providing session limits that bypass out-of-pocket maximum allowances), creating a significant mental/physical health discrepancy. For mental health parity, act now!

APA Practice Organization Action Alert

Date: September 9, 2008

Re: National Call-in Day for Parity

Congress has just returned from the August recess and has three short weeks to pass the historic bipartisan agreement on parity before adjourning for the year. Your Senators and Representative need to hear from you on Wednesday, September 10 that Congress must finish its work and send parity to the President’s desk this month.

Targets: All U.S. Senators and Representatives

Action:

Call your Senators and Representative on Wednesday, September 10 using the toll-free Parity Hotline: 1-866-PARITY-4 (1-866-727-4894).

The Parity Hotline reaches the Capitol Hill Switchboard, which can connect callers to their legislators when specifically requested by name or their ZIP code is provided.

Message:

I am a constituent calling to ask Senator/Representative __________ to urge the congressional leadership to pass the historic bipartisan agreement on mental health parity this month before Congress adjourns.

Summer Holiday

(An ad for a women's-only gym, snapped in New Jersey)

EWHAED is taking a blogging break for the month of August. I'll still be responding to emails, but won't be publishing any new material. Happy summer, and I look forward to seeing you in the fall!

Just Lose the Weight

(Banner spotted in Miami, FL)

A recent New York Times Article, titled “Too Fat and Pregnant” warns against the dangers of gaining weight during pregnancy, particularly among the already fat population. The article notes that the already-fat demographic is more likely to experience complications with pregnancy, including hypertension and diabetes. Moreover, the fetuses of fat women are often too large to navigate the birth canal, resulting in a higher incidence of cesarean sections. To combat this, new crops of bariatric obstetric centers are advising fat patients not just not to gain weight during pregnancy, but to lose it.

That's a wonderful recommendation that comes with just one minor flaw. I might be being a little presumptuous here, but if weight loss were possible, wouldn’t the mother have done this already? How is it going to be any easier when she’s with child? Don’t we already know how difficult it is to lose weight, not to mention lose it and keep it off?

More on Language

There are two phrases in our diet vernacular that I find particularly irksome. The first is, "She let herself go." She did? Where'd she go? How's the weather out there? The second has a more positive connotation and is typically reserved for post-diet or -pregnancy changes: "She got her body back." Wait, where was her body? Was there a ransom involved for its return? Any other common statements you can think of that are similarly provocative?

As I sat in a nail salon this morning pondering these phrases and why they seem to hit a nerve, a woman, obviously a regular, entered the salon. "Manicure or eyebrow wax?" an employee questioned. "Bikini," the woman responded. Already primed to think about our language and what it signifies, I began thinking about the concept of a bikini wax and why we call it that. If we're there to wax our legs, we don't call it the shorts/miniskirt wax. When we're there for our eyebrows, we don't ask for a sunglasses wax. Why must we misrepresent our genitalia, only referring to them as the parts of clothing we use as cover? What's so wrong with calling a spade a crotch? Anyone willing to ask for a pubic/labial wax?

I exited said nail salon, picked up my Iced Mocha and walked into my office building. An elevator companion noted, "Your drink smells good." "It's a mocha, I replied," to which he commented, "I hate to mention the amount of calories in that."

Another Carcass, Courtesy of Calvin Klein

(Window display, Madison Avenue)

The Smallest Loser

Liz Vaccarielo, Editor-in-Chief of Prevention magazine, recently posted about watching The Biggest Loser with your kids--about a reader, who mentioned watching the weight-loss show with her five-year-old daughter, Vaccarielo writes:

My first thought: Tragic! Five years old is too young to worry about her body. But then this controversial light bulb went on in my head: The Biggest Loser should be mandatory viewing in grade schools, and ever mom should watch with her kids. It's never too soon to start teaching kids what it takes to be healthy, especially when the rate of overweight children ages 6 to 11 had more than doubled in the past 20 years. And The Biggest Loser message is crystal clear: It's a whole lot easier to just not gain weight in the first place.

I'm pretty sure you know my thoughts on this (not to mention the fact that if you're interested in teaching healthy living, why not enlist your daughter's help in the kitchen or take her on a walk outside or to pass around a soccer ball--rather than watch TBL?), but I'm interested in yours. . . .

Free Rice

In a forum in which most of us have a surplus of food, it's sometimes difficult to remember that much of the world does not. I stumbled upon Free Rice, a website designed to making a dent in the world hunger crisis. Today, rice supplies are frighteningly thin--linger on Free Rice in order to do your part, while, at the same time, nourishing your lexicon. How many grains of rice have you donated? What's your best level? Enjoy!

Greetings

"Hi! How are you?"

"Good--how are you?"

You've just greeted a girlfriend you haven't seen in a while. You know what comes next, don't you?

Think about it. . .

"You look great!"

"So, do you!"

And, henceforth, the greeting is complete. We've exchanged appearance-focused compliments, we've established a competitive cease-fire and now, only now, can we begin to communicate.

I decided a while back that I didn't so much like this game. I make a pointed effort not to focus on others' appearances and don't like how banal these greetings have become, uttered often, it seems, without thought, as simply a formality. I wonder, how can I look great all the time? Don't I just look average then? Shouldn't we reserve these niceties for when we really do look great? Philosophical arguments aside, I don't hate the players, just the game, and so I started curtailing my own compliments and quickly changing the subject when a friend would voice her obligatory praise. "Thanks, how have you been doing?", I'd redirect.

Why the focus on appearance? I sent out a website link, recently, highlighting a professional accomplishment of mine (which contained a bio and photo), and received from several recipients, "You look really pretty." Now, it's not that I don't like to hear that. I do. But, how about the fact that I've accomplished something, that I'm more than the sum of my features, that I'm making strides as a woman, but that society keeps throwing me back in my allotted space? How about that? Is "pretty" the greatest compliment of all?

I realized, recently, that it might seem rude, when greeting others, not to respond tit for tat, and that I haven't informed those I know that I've altered the rules of play. So, let it be declared that a) You're all beautiful, but b) That's not the point. I choose not to comment (or focus) on your appearance, because I'd rather connect to the warmth in your smile, the strength in your voice, and the wisdom of what you have to say. That's why I call you a friend.

Rating Our Community

A question that's been weighing on my mind centers around whether or not this blogger community is a helpful resource for those struggling with eating and body issues. As someone who swears by the power of group therapy, I think of this community like a group--a place where bloggers get and give support, offer each other helpful (and sometimes directive feedback), and find comfort in the knowledge that they are not alone. So, why even ask the question?

To start, let's face it, those struggling with e.d.'s are a competitive bunch. Bloggers posting about their diets, their symptoms, their collective ups and downs might trigger others to think and act in unhealthy ways. A woman who partially identifies with others to start may, through exposure to constant dialogue about food and weight, develop even more of a focus on these things herself. We all enjoy identifying with a group, so I there may be a pull toward dysfunction as a way to connect with others. True, participation in the community is voluntary, and the emergence of symptoms in this fashion is likely indicative of an underlying tendency, but I can't help but wonder if blogging (reading and writing) can actually make things worse.

Overall, have you found the food/body blogging community to be helpful or hurtful? Take the 2nd EWHAED poll to weigh in. . .

The Fat Experience Project

From the trenches. . .

Hi there -

I wanted to let you know, in hopes that you might let your audience know, that I've recently launched a new project that I'm very excited about!

The new project is called "The Fat Experience Project." and you can view it here:

The goal of the Fat Experience Project is to map the global experience of fat in a way that is human, has a face, a heart, a mind, a body and a voice. The Fat Experience Project is an oral, visual and written history project which seeks to be a humanizing force in body image activism. By collecting and sharing the many and varied stories of individuals of size, the Fat Experience Project seeks to engage with, educate, empower and enrich the lives of people of size, our allies and the world at large.

As the project grows, it will be filled with first-person, non-fiction narratives (in text, video or mp3 format) that speak to the many and varied aspects of the life lived large. Some of the content will come from interviews already gathered on an extensive 2-month road trip (with the lovely Val Garrison) in both audio and video format. Some content will come from trips on the horizon. Most content will be submitted via thewebsite by readers such as yourself.

It is my hope that the project will be a community tool to combat prejudice/stereotype/discrimination as well as to help externalize shame so it can discussed and dissipated. The things we keep silent about are the things that do us the most harm. Shared burden is lighter. I am hoping, as well, that the project may eventually be used as a humanizing resource for fat studies and social anthropology courses.

I am writing to ask for your help in both the promotion of and the participation in this project. It is my fondest hope that, ultimately, with time and resources, this project will grow beyond a specific and exclusive fat focus and move toward addressing the many intersections of shame.

In the meantime, I would love your help in the form of passing this along to your readers/mailing lists/friends/family/anyone you feel may benefit from hearing about this project.

I also welcome comments, constructive criticism and volunteers.

Thanks for your time and energy!
Big BIG love

Diet Plates

Self magazine clued me in to these plates, replete with inspirational messages designed to motivate that stalled dieter in you. Self writes:

Customize your plate with a diet motto: write you own or select one of the sometimes shocking prefab versions ("No seconds, fat ass"--hey, whatever works for you, but we think this one is a little mean. . .)

A little?

Would you use a plate like this, or know anyone who would? What would you want your customized plate to say? I'd like mine to convey something simple, like "Enjoy Your Meal!" or something like the image I found below. Anyone up for a visit to your local pottery painting store? I'll publish your photographed plates. . . .

Metabo-ism

Thanks to the EWHAED communications team for forwarding me this. Thoughts?

This Is Who I Am

I just finished This Is Who I Am: Our Beauty in All Shapes and Sizes by photographer Rosanne Olson. In the book (which I've added to the EWHAED book club list--scroll down to the right), Olson captures the bodies of women of all shapes and sizes. . . women of various ages, ethnicities, professional backgrounds. . . modestly posing nude or nearly nude and then discussing their thoughts and feelings about their forms.

Olson's project was born of early influences. In her introduction, she reveals: "In a sense, this book arose from my own experiences. As a teeenager, I encountered anorexia, which helped give me insight." She had me right there--what an interesting way to phrase it, not "struggled with," or "suffered from," but "encountered."

And so, Olson focuses on encounters, on the experiences of the women she captured on film--experiences of being in the world with their particular bodies, experiences we've all had working toward certain expectations of and standards for our bodies, experiences we've had judging others' bodies and ourselves.

Olson writes:

I wondered what would happen if I invited women of all shapes and sizes to discuss their feelings about their bodies and then let me photograph them in the nude. My goal was one of completel revelation--not hiding behind clothing but exposing both body and mind. What would we learn about ourselves? What would we learn from each other? Would we--could we--become more compassionate? Not only toward ourselves but toward one another.

I emailed Olson to tell her how much I enjoyed reading her book, and she noted that other therapists have contacted her with analogous types of praise. It seems we similarly appreciate the therapeutic and socio-political implication of Olson's work--observing other women's bodies and what they have to say about them can be a tranformative experience. The women are beautiful, their stories compelling, and I recommend you take a look.

Media Bites

We continue to be bombarded by media messages about weight and shape, as if we're constantly dodging attacks. Last week alone, AOL News told us "How Not to Look Fat in Tank Tops," new mom Angela Kinsey, of The Office fame, shared with People that she's not yet "red-carpet ready" (what kind of ridiculous bar have we set?), and in US Weekly, actress Marisa Tomei revealed her means to weight-control success: "I pray a lot, like, Keep me skinny, please."

All this in just a few days. . . Did you see it? How do you react to these kinds of media messages? Is there a way to insulate ourselves?

Tri On

A couple of weeks ago, I found myself at a local bike shop, trying on triathlon gear. The largest size tops and bottoms they had was a 10 (their Large), roughly equivalent (via my scientifically sound method of trying on the clothing myself) to a typical Size 6. . . begging the question that if you're looking to get into the sport, and wear larger than a Size 6, how do you outfit yourself? (Additionally, if you'd like to complete a triathlon in a destination that requires you to fly, you may have to cough up some extra bucks, according to a loyal reader and friend who forwarded me this.

Are you familiar with larger-sized triathlon clothing? Should the cycling shop be carrying larger than a Large?

If you're a larger woman, how do you try a tri?

Jenny, Jenny, Who Can I Turn To?

Have you called Jenny, yet?

Y'all know I'm anti-diet, so why am I asking? Last night, I considered calling Jenny myself. I wanted to know about this diet (which bills itself not as a diet, but as a "weight-loss program"), just as I have about others, in order to write with journalistic integrity, unbiased by my predetermined ideas (remember my Medifast blast?) But, I can't do it--as you might recall, my Zone Chefs experience was atrocious, and I'm not willing to give a diet (even by another name, even for the sake of research, even for only a week) another shot. But, more and more, I'm hearing people turn to Jenny--whether it's a good program or the company has great marketing, I'm unclear--now, even the big and beautiful Queen Latifah's on board!

So, my questions for those of you who have tried Jenny Craig are:

1) Did you like it?
2) How was the food?
3) Did you feel hungry on the program?
4) Did you lose weight?
5) If you stopped, why did you stop?
6) If you stopped, what happened to your weight?

Topless New York

I recently received the following email and told the writer I'd post for feedback. I hesitate to do so (the feminist in me shivers at the idea of a casting call for topless women), though I recognize the body acceptance possibilities involved in such a project. Is the photographer's speculation (about size) right on? Would you be willing to drop your top for art?

Dr. Stacey -

I was recently pointed to your blog by a friend after I asked him basically this same question, and I was wondering if you had any insight. I'm a photographer working on an art & politics project called "Topless New York" - celebrating the fact that New York is one of only a few states where women have the legal right to go topless in public anywhere that men have the legal right to do so. In addition to using a popular modeling & photography networking website to find women to pose for the project, I also use Craigslist, and I'm very clear in the headline and in the text of the ad that I'm looking for women of all ages (over 18, anyway) AND ALL SIZES.

Yet 98% of my responses are from younger women, and 99% of them are fairly thin (though there have been a few exceptions). I tend to think this may be because women are self-selecting when they even look for modeling gigs in the first place, but I had hoped that tapping the amateur/citizen-model market through Craigslist would allow me to reach more women of average or above-average weight who were willing to pose for the project as well. Do you think it might be a matter of body image and embarrassment over the thought of baring their tops in public, as well? Or am I overthinking it, and I just need to be happy with the responses I get?

Thanks for any insight you can offer, and keep on blogging!

Jeff
Topless New York

Polly

The National Eating Disorders Association magazine, Outlook, recently published an article on Polly, a valued member of our blog community. The writer was one of Polly's sorority sisters at Virginia Tech, offering another perspective on her. Since many of you knew, or knew of, Polly, I'm posting the article below (click to enlarge).

Hunger

Several months ago, I started a meal process group, where (out)patients (and I) have lunch together, process feelings about the meal, and then usually engage in some exercise about eating/body image. I figured I'd post some of the thought questions here, so that you might think about these topics and hopefully dialogue with one another.

Recently, I asked the group some questions about hunger:

1) How hungry are you right now? (I personally use Dr. Paul McKenna's Hunger Scale).



2) How do you know when you're hungry?

3) How would you describe the feeling of hunger to an alien, who had never experienced this before? (this one's from Karen Koenig)

4) What type of emotions do you usually feel when you experience the physiological sensation of hunger?

5) What, besides food, do you hunger for?

More Leg Room?

On a recent Jet Blue flight, I elected for their "More Leg Room" option, which the airline details here:

We all need Lots of Legroom™. And sometimes, we need Even More. If it's extra space you seek, you've come to the right place! We've made another slight reconfiguration to our Airbus A320 fleet to create Even More Legroom–super-spacious seats at the front of the aircraft* and at the emergency exit rows that provide even more of that much-lusted-after in-flight space. Treat yourself to an Even More Legroom seat and get 38" of comfortable seat pitch in which to stretch out, relax, watch TV, sample our complimentary snacks and enjoy the award-winning Jet Blue experience!

Jet Blue advertises the upgrade for as little as $10, though I believe I paid a bit more.

The extra leg room was enjoyable, akin to (leg-centric) first-class flying. But, the the seat width is exactly the same. It made me hungry for more butt room, more shoulder room, more room on the arm divider so that my neighbor and I wouldn't be forced into a game of passive-aggressive elbow war the entire flight. Oh, and I should note, that I had the window seat, he the middle, and about 30 minutes into the flight, he reached over me, closed the window shade, and returned to his business, without so much as a glance in my direction. Sorry, just had to air that one.

Have you tried the extra leg room option? Would you prefer extra seat width instead? How would you like your space?

Stories: Part IV

Printed with permission. . .

It does seem true that in our culture it's rare for there to be an uncomplicated relationship with food. We are sooooo fortunate to have plenty, why do we confound it? Perhaps it's a transmutation of guilt--for having and wasting obscene amounts when so much of the world is desperately hungry.

I've been on a project to transcribe all of my old diaries into my computer. Currently I'm on #33, which makes it at least the 25th diary (with a long, long way to go) where I'm dealing with the issue of food, eating, body image, and the western cultural imperative to be thin.

I've studied this and suffered over it for years and I don't feel any closer to understanding the imperative. I know that growing up it was implicit--'diet' was an ubiquitous verb. As a child if I went home from school with a friend my mother would ask when I got home if my friend's mother was 'heavy'. That was the euphemism.

drstaceyny writes under her profile on her blog: My contention is that every woman has an eating disorder-- not necessarily anorexia or bulimia per se, but a fixation on food/ weight/shape that is unhealthy, unwanted, and undying.

And, if I might add, wearying.

Like I said, for years I took on the subject, mainly from the point of view of why I felt so susceptible to it and the ways it jabbed me internally. Why could I not dismiss the perfection hysteria for what it is? Especially since I knew it wasn't rational, I knew it was cruel.

My current working theory is that there is a sort of anxiety-fueled need-to-win dynamic that drives it. I got a clear example of this dynamic when watching a comedy television program about a family. The father volunteered to take on coaching his son's dispirited soccer team. Obviously determined that he was going to be a nurturing coach he admonished the coach of the opposing team who was harshly screaming at his kids: "Hey! Come on, lay off, they're just kids! This is supposed to be fun!" To which the opposing coach responded by sneering to his team: "Hear that? That's LOSER talk!" Similarly, to consider swimming upstream from the main by shrugging off a cultural ideal of beauty was undermined by the idea that I was indulging in sour grapes: loser talk.

This issue has been present for most of my life, in varying degrees of intensity and urgency.

I put it in a bottom drawer for the past 3 years. Shortly after returning to Portland I was very low, very depressed. I met a physician who was confident in her ability to help me manage this medicinally.

The first antidepressant I tried was Remeron. I was shocked 3 months later at my GYN checkup when I weighed more than I had ever weighed not-pregnant. The dr. said confidently: "Everyone gains weight on Remeron. I'll often prescribe it to new mothers, stressed, underweight, and not sleeping." Well, this wasn't a time I was prepared to face down the whole weight issue and I asked my primary dr. if I could switch to something like Wellbutrin, which I'd heard had a side effect of weight loss.

The way the weight-loss side effect worked for me is that the experience of hunger was detached from my emotions. I might still feel hunger, but I didn't experience it as suffering. The eating motivator was thus less potent and I lost weight. So for the past 3 or so years I've weighed approximately my high school weight.

The thing is, the drug didn't have that much effect on my mood. Not really noticeably, anyway. Perhaps there was a subtle change to my background mood base and the alteration was so gradual that I didn't notice it. Last year when I started seeing Sharon, my counselor, I told her that I was taking antidepressants. She suggested that at some point I might want to wean off of them and "see who I was without the drugs." But I really felt I wasn't any different with or without the drugs; I felt like I knew 'who I was'. Time, situational change, and a year with both boys full time in school eased the depression symptoms; the medication didn't seem to have much effect beyond the hunger effect and a mild (not unpleasant) buzz.

It was really only the weight effect that motivated me to keep taking them.

I pushed to the back of my mind the awareness that a day of reckoning was coming where I'd face some questions:

1) What does it mean to be thin?
2) Is it important to be thin?
3) Why?
4) Is it still important to be thin when I'm 49/50/51?
5) Why?
6) What does it mean that it's important to be thin?
7) Is it legitimate to use anti-depressants as a diet pill?
8) Is it dishonest to be slender by these means?
9) To whom do I owe 'honesty' about this? If me alone, why should I feel uneasy about (dis)honesty? If someone else--no that just seems absurd. Should I carry a sign that says, "I'm slender because I take Wellbutrin"? Still, I'm dogged by the feeling of misrepresenting myself. (Then comes the 'puritan question'-- if I don't have a metabolism that makes me 'naturally', 'authentically' thin is the only way I can legitimately be thin is if I suffer to do it--either through eating less than I want or exercising mightily? Why should those means be more legitimate than an antidepressant with a convenient side effect? Who says?)

Of course this opens up a whole other can of worms, too. I can see when I read my journals that there was a lot of fevered energy that I now recognize as biological--the drive for a mate. I didn't know it then but it's plain now. A successfully sexually appealing identity once seemed very necessary.

What is the basis of sexual appeal when one is beyond childbearing age? Again, the question, is it important, is it worth an effort, is it even possible? A certain number of pounds hung on my frame now looks very different than it did when I was 20, 30.

And it's not as if I'm interested in entering the world of trying to attract a sexual partner. I have friends my age who are single, friends who are divorced, Out Looking. After 16 years of marriage there is no appeal in that for me. When I get dispatches from that field I have trouble relating personally--it seems like something that belongs to another age and another time. My friends seem very engaged: I just can't relate.

I suppose having two young children makes a mate search additionally irrelevant. It's rare that children from one man, particularly boys, have a successful relationship with a man-not-their-father who is close to their mother.

I started tapering down the antidepressants in January. It's been several weeks now since taking my last. My mood continues to be stable, but I didn't expect to experience any differences on that front. What I'm nervous about is whether or not I'll be having to confront the old demons about appearance and weight. And whether I'll finally be able to make some peace with them.

But She Got Much Back

A loyal reader forwarded me this website, a clothing company called "Little in the Middle," specializing in clothing for normal women. Specifically, the company caters to those of us "pears," who have smaller waists and larger hips and thighs.

I certainly appreciate the brand's philosophy--no more jeans gaping at the back! But, I'm staring to wonder is "Little in the Middle" as detrimental a phrase as "Big in the Bottom" when it comes to body and size acceptance?

Sex and Weight

Yesterday, I was interviewed by an online magazine on the topic of overweight* women and dating. Specifically, the interviewer asked questions about why thinness is glorified in women, how overweight women struggle in general and particularly with regard to dating. She wondered if overweight women might miss out on sexual opportunities and how these women might become more comfortable with sex. And then a bomb dropped: "What do you think about the idea that overweight women are easy?" (as in
sexually promiscuous. . . as in, in order to compensate for their weight)

Is this true? And, even if it's a stereotype, since most stereotypes are based on a glimmer of truth, why do you think this is?

*her word, not mine

The Stomach Bug

I got it. Yep, the stomach bug. You know the kind when you eventually resign to taking up residence on the bathroom floor? That's the one. And, in the week-plus of recovery since (accompanied with little appetite and the requisite weight loss), I've been thinking about what the stomach bug means with regard to e.d.'s.

Would you secretly welcome the stomach bug in order to lose weight? Take the EWHAED's first poll (on the right) to let us know. . . .

I've Got Mail

I love getting letters from my readers, especially when they look a little something like this (posted with persmission):

Hi Dr. Stacey,

You may think this is a little compulsive, and, sure, it represents the extreme end of things, but I have neither of the following things:
- a mirror in my bedroom
- a scale in my house

Consequently, I'm extremely happy, and whether or not I feel comfortable in my body has to do with just that - whether or not I feel comfortable in my own body.

Do we even need a scale to measure weight? There are an enormous number of things around us that do the weight-measuring for us, without the numbers. Everything from our own clothing sizes to other people's comments on any ups or downs in our weight serve to remind us of just where we fall on the spectrum. A scale seems, well, superfluous.

So then, why don't I have a mirror in my room? It's also superfluous. If I want to pluck my eyebrows or put on makeup, I'll go into the bathroom. That decision involves taking an active part in my self image - that is, seeing myself when I want to see myself, using the mirror for an activity with its own purpose rather as a tool to open myself up to the opportunity to self-criticize endlessly. What role could a mirror in the bedroom serve that a mirror in the bathroom could not? Looking to see if I have something in my teeth, washing my face, even trying on new earrings . . these are all things that could happen in the bathroom, with purposeful intent.

The radical part in me thinks we should abolish scales - except in doctor's offices and laboratories. I think it's extremely weird that they developed as a part of our hygiene habits. Shouldn't what we do in the bathroom be about taking care of our bodies instead of encouraging terrible self image? Bathing, toilet, brushing our teeth, combing our hair - this all makes sense. But the scale? Everyone should do themselves a favor and lose it.

Can't wait for your book to come out!

Morning Show Request

Wanna be on TV?

From Michelle Niger of FOX:

Hello, I’m a producer with “The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet.” We’re a nationally syndicated live morning television show based out of NYC. On Thursday, April 24th, we’re doing a segment about a study from the International Journal of Eating Disorders that says that eating disorders are contagious. The study says, “A study of U.S. high school students provides additional evidence that eating disorders may be contagious….researchers found that binging, fasting, diet pill use and other eating disorder symptoms clustered within counties, particularly among female students…”

I’m looking for a personal story from someone who has or has had an eating disorder, specifically someone that was shared with or learned their eating disorder from other women in high school or college. We will cover all travel accommodations to NYC. Please call me asap as this is time sensitive 212.301.5371

Line 'Em Up!

In an US Magazine April piece, entitled, "Hollywood Hunger-O-Meter," "stars weight in on how much, and often they indulge their appetites." The celebrities are arranged on a "hunger meter," with markings from "Feed Me!" to "I Watch What I Eat" to "Not Counting Calories." "Feed me" celebs include Molly Sims ("I just fasted for four days. . . . I'm back on food. Today I had kale, squash, quinoa, and lemon water," while the other end of the spectrum sports Sarah Jessica Parker ("I eat everything") and Michelle Trachtenberg ("I'm in New York for a month, so all I'm going to do is eat pizza!")

Other notables? Julianne Moore ("I still battle with my deeply boring diet of. . . yogurt and cereal and granola bars. . . I'm hungry all the time") to Kate Walsh ("I was afraid of becoming huge. . . I remember [just] eating a mixing bowl. . . of whipped cream with Equal in it") to Ali Larter ("I'm such a hedonist with food. . . . I'm not one of those girls who likes moderation").

Did you see this article? What types of thoughts/feelings emerge when hearing about it? Do non-celebrities model their diets after these women? What does it say about our world that this is the dimension on which we're rating our stars?

What the Buck?

I just arrived back from one of my local Starbucks stores (yes, that's plural in NYC) and need to know--does your Starbucks location post the caloric content of its food items? I've never noticed this before!

There, beneath each pastry name on the little pastry card was written the number of calories it contained. I have to admit, I was quite surprised to learn the caloric content of my beloved Rice Krispie Treat (aka Starbucks' generic "Crispy Marshmallow Square"). I know that this information is posted on-line, but I'm not the kind of person to look.

Yet, here it was, staring me in the face. What do you think about the in-store postings? Yay or nay?