Weight

I recently came across this post by blogger, Jen Selk, and thought you might enjoy. . . .

January Happenings

Happy New Year!

Resolved:
To start the year off on a positive note, how about some resolutions that don't involve disliking yourself?  Rather than focusing on losing weight, why not resolve to improve your relationship with food, and while you're at it, your relationship with your body?  This will help you NOW and will last way beyond the crash-diet/gym-heavy January norm.

Action Plan:
For those in/around NYC, I will be starting a six-week Eat in Peace. group on January 19th, 2011.  Co-led with a registered dietitian, the group will focus on developing a healthier relationship with food.  To sign up, or for more information, email me by January 14th at drstaceyny@gmail.com.

For those in the Northeast (or those from farther locales, looking for a winter escape), register for the Lose the Diet. Love Your Body. Eat in Peace. weekend-long workshop I will be leading January 21st-23rd at Kripalu Yoga Center.  For around the cost of one therapy session, you get a whole weekend with me!  What could be better than two full days of yoga, programming around mindful eating, connecting with like-minded individuals, all in the beautiful Berkshire mountains?   Registration will close tomorrow, January 7th, so sign up now!

Kudos to Intimacy

Check out the Manhattan lingerie store, Intimacy!  I wandered by the store one day and was struck by the fact that the window display showcases two mannequins of different sizes. Imagine that:  various-sized mannequins modeling various-sized clothing for various-sized of women.

More on Moore

I recently came across this update on singer-actress, Mandy Moore.  I'm happy whenever stars speak out about having (or coming to) a healthy relationship with food (especially if it's true!), so I was excited to read this news.

And then it struck me:  The fact that Mandy Moore allows herself to eat a hamburger now and then is news.  I haven't heard much about her work these days, and until this article, I didn't even know she wed.  Yet, the people over at People believe that the most compelling feature about Moore is what she puts between her lips.

Are they right?

Oh, My. . .

Taking the Skinny Ideal to a Whole New Level

What's Your Purpose?

I've been thinking a lot recently about the relationship between spirituality and eating disorders.  Namely, can a sense of spirituality be a ("a", not "the") curative force in recovery?

I'm not talking about religion per se, but more a sense of what your purpose is here on Earth.  For some, it's to be a good person, live a good life.  Others may believe they need to learn a valuable lesson.  Those who are less spiritually inclined may think that they're here simply to continue the species.  For many with eating disorders, life becomes so constricted (restricted) that the purpose becomes eating less, weighing less. . .and a sense of greater purpose is ignored.

I keep circling back to the idea that if you are to get in touch with a greater purpose, that can help with recovery.  I'll often say to someone that I'm not sure what her purpose here is, but I just know it can't be to restrict, maintain a certain weight, or hate her body.  That's can't be the point of life, and I'm sure of it.  Nearing death, it just can't be that you look back over your life and evaluate your stay based on weight.

Can getting in touch with your greater purpose, or at least being open to the idea that it has to be more than this, help you?

You're Invited!

Welcome back, DEWHAED readers!  I'm up to some exciting new things. . . including planning a weekend-long seminar to address what we talk about here.  Save the date for:

Lose the diet.
Love your body.
Eat in peace.

When:  The weekend of January 21st
Where:  The beautiful Berkshires
Why:     Finally addressing your eating/body issues; an opportunity to connect with like-minded folk; a year's worth of therapy in 48 hours; a chance for me to meet and eat with you all!

Hope you all are enjoying your season. . .  crisp apples and hot drinks. . .  cozying up again in sweaters or flannels or Snuggies and for a moment, maybe just a moment, honoring and enjoying the body that is yours. . . .

Independence

On this, the last post before my summer break, I'm reflecting on women's freedom. It's amazing how far we've come, what with women competing for some of the highest posts in the land; in many industries, earning close, but not equal to, men's salaries; balancing work and motherhood and social engagements; traversing grounds we never thought the xx could ever go.

So, that said, why is it that every once in a while, I fantasize about wearing a burqa to work?

This piece of clothing that represents, through my Westernized lens, the epitome of women's imprisonment seems the perfect choice on days I want to be comfortable, relaxed, and to hide my body from the world. 

I went to an eating disorders/body image lecture a couple of weeks ago and the presenters noted that with each advancement in the women's movement, there has been an consequent increase in eating disorders.  They also reported that today, Asian teenagers, at 16, are being gifted eye surgery by their parents so that their eyelids look more like their Caucasian friends'.  Is this what we have to show for centuries of cultural and political advancement?  How is it that the more we plow ahead, the more we dislike ourselves?

And so, for women in America, as you celebrate Memorial Day, Independence Day, Labor Day, take a moment to wonder:  Are you really free?

Look Alive, Men!

New York Magazine recently revealed that British company, Rootstein, which makes mannequins, is set to launch "Homme Nouveau," a new men's mannequin sporting a 27-inch-waist.  The more slenderized version of the 1994 model is suggested to reflect, and likely worsen, a more unrealistic male body standard. 

Do you see men as devloping a more negative body image over time?  Are they, in a game with no clear winner, catching up?

Baby Food

In a recent People magazine article, actress Ellen Pompeo speaks about feeding her seven-month-old daughter, Stella. Pompeo focuses on feeding her daughter natural, organic foods and teaching her about healthy eating.
Pompeo's goal is to introduce only healthy foods (read: no Cheerios) to her daughter--just as Pompeo was fed as a child--as that resulted in her never knowing (or therefore, wanting) "junk food."

While many of those with eating disorders will tell you that a no-junk-food policy results in junk-food rebellion later on, what I found most interesting about this article was not so much the original story, but the eighty-something (at this writing) comments that readers submitted. As always, food/eating are emotional/political topics that often result in polarization. What do YOU think?

The Price of Beauty

Has anyone watched Jessica Simpson's, The Price of Beauty? I found the episode filmed in Uganda particularly enlightening. In the village Simpson visits, fat is beautiful, and women are fattened up before their weddings. Of interest is not just the cultural acceptance/value of fat, but how hard women have to work to gain weight before they wed, the polar opposite of Western dieting culture. Check out clips from the episode here. Reactions?

Body Education

I was sitting on the roof of my building with a friend, when a nine-year-old girl came up with her sitter. Her sitter wandered around and the girl approached us and began gabbing away in the hallmark style of a precocious nine-year-old girl. I forget how we arrived here, but the next thing you know, we're talking about pubic hair.

"I saw my mom naked once and she had hair down there!" she said in surprise.

"When you get older, you'll have hair down there, too," I replied.

"Ooh, that's gross. I have a little hair there now."

"It's just what happens to girls as they get older."

While I'm not sure this was the best way to handle the topic (and if the girl's mother would have even wanted me to respond), it made me consider how mothers are with their bodies and what tacit messages they send their daughters.

Truth be told, it surprised me that this girl had only seen her mother naked once. It made me think that her mother may be ashamed of her body, and that she was communicating to her daughter that a woman's body was something to be covered, not celebrated. Sure, we don't want our daughters parading naked around the block, but there's something to be said for them knowing and therefore fully accepting the female form. I can't help but wonder that if girls, from early on, witness their mothers' unabashed bodies (pubic hair and cellulite and bra-less breasts and all), they'll have fewer problems with body image later on.

Your Choice?

Are eating disorders choices? Do you choose to develop an eating disorder, or to continue to engage in your symptoms, or are eating disorders strictly diseases, without any decision involved?

I think most of us would agree that by the time someone is knee deep in her eating disorder, there isn't much choice involved. And yes, there are factors such as genetic influences, familial circumstances, and comorbidity with other psychological disorders (e.g., depression, anxiety, substance abuse), all of which make eating disorders appear to be a fait accompli.

Eating disorders are diseases, right? Why would anyone choose to develop a disease? No one is questioning someone's depression or schizophrenia, and certainly not her Parkinson's or cancer.

But, for many who suffer from eating disorders, there's a moment, early on, when we make a choice--a choice to restrict, to binge, to purge, because in the moment, these behaviors seem to be the best option available to us.

Maybe it's just semantics, as this choice is made without informed consent, without recognition of what will follow. For others, even if there is an understanding of consequences, we might make the same choice, anyway, not really thinking the consequences will apply to us. Does a choice count if you don't even know you're making a choice?

When recovery is on the table, and we continue to engage in symptoms, is this a choice, or are our eating disorders speaking for us? Do you choose to hold on to an eating disorder, or does the disorder hold on to you?

Another Look at Body Image

Friends?

Ryerson university in Toronto conducted a study on the effects of television characters on body image.  Specifically, the study found that watching just a 10-minute clip of Friends (specifically Jennifer Aniston and Courteney) cox caused women to feel bad about their bodies.  The study's author is quoted as saying, "People have the tendency to make rapid comparisons of themselves to images on television programs even when they don't think they are being affected."

Are there any current shows or stars that you think women with body image concerns should avoid?  Have you noticed yourself having negative body thoughts (in e.d. language, being "triggered") by any of these shows or characters?  Is there a pull to watch them despite their emotional impact?

For Those in NYC. . .

Bake-In Rally

Good Vs. Bad

I'm becoming increasing annoyed by descriptions of food as "good" or "bad."  When someone says, "I was good," I often ask what that means, because my definition of good is not necessarily yours.  For some women who struggle with eating disorders, restriction is good.  Not for me. 

Healthy.  Unhealthy.  What do they mean?  As soon as there's a good, there's a bad, and that sets us up for the moralization of food.  While I'm not suggesting everyone eat fried food at every meal, food choices should reflect the variety of our cravings. 

There is no good or bad, just food.  Dichotomizing nutrition can lead to disordered eating.  In fact, one food choice has no value over another.  All foods are equal.  How about that?  Let's end our food discrimination, because as everyone knows, choosing one group over another (with the exception of skinny over fat) is so 20th century. 

Does Every Calorie Count?

Interesting article in The New York Times. . .

Do Something!

Petitions, Conferences, and More!

Check out the National Eating Disorder Information Centre's (Canada) new campaign.  You can sign a petition on their site that directly targets the fashion industry, encouraging repsonsible selection (and retouching) of models in the advertising world. 

Also, as I mentioned earlier, I will be speaking at a conference later this month in NYC dedicated to friends/family members of those struggling with eating disorders.  Please pass on the Journey to Hope conference information to your family and friends--presentations will help them cope with your eating disorder and hopefully improve your relationships in the process.  See here for more information.

If you'd like to get involved with Reaching Out Against Eating  Disorders (one of the organizations responsible for hosting the conference), see their website for how to volunteer.

Begin your revolution now!

Media Inquiry

Like Mother/Like Daughter? Help a reporter with a story on the mother daughter eating/body image connection. . .


A reporter is doing a story for Glamour Magazine on the connection between mothers and daughters when it comes to issues around eating and body image. She is interested in the kind of habits and attitudes that seem to plague many women -bingeing, consta-dieting, emotional eating, obsessive exercising, body-loathing, not strictly clinical eating disorders. If you are in your 20s or 30s, deal with these issues and SO DOES YOUR MOM, she'd love to speak to you. If you'd be willing to talk--on record or off--email Diana Kapp, at dekapp@mac.com.