Book Announcement!

Why do so many women have problematic relationships with food and their bodies? This is the question my new book, Does Every Woman Have an Eating Disorder? Challenging Our Nation’s Fixation with Food and Weight, addresses. The book was published on June 1 and is based on this blog.

Most women do not suffer from a clinical eating disorder, yet so many have an unhealthy relationship with food and measure their self-worth by their dress size or the number on a scale. From an early age, women are bombarded with messages about what to eat and how their bodies should look. Does Every Woman Have an Eating Disorder? examines our nation’s unhealthy weight obsession and the cultural factors pressuring women to be body-obsessed and proposes a radical alternative: lose the diet, love your body, and eat in peace. In the book, I outline practical steps you can take to feel good about your body at any size.

The response to the book has been overwhelmingly positive:

“Finally, a book that offers hope to the myriad women feeling all alone in their negative obsession with food and body. These women, victims of our culturally thin ideal, can stop blaming themselves and plant the seeds of healing that will lead them toward self-love and acceptance.”

Elyse Resch, MS, RDN, CEDRD, FAND, FADA, nutrition therapist and coauthor of Intuitive Eating

“Goes beyond simply raising awareness . . . Dr. Rosenfeld shares holistic solutions and exercises grounded in concrete psychology that lead the everyday woman to recognize her own biases around food and weight, adopt positive behavioral changes, and ultimately, acquire the personal empowerment we all desperately seek.”

Pia Guerrero, cofounder and editor, Adios Barbie

To read more reviews, click here.

You can order Does Every Woman Have an Eating Disorder? Challenging Our Nation’s Fixation with Food and Weight (Siena Moon Books, ISBN: 978-0-9898518-3-1, $16.95, paperback) at Amazon.com,* BN.com, or through your local bookstore

Thanks for your support!

*also on Kindle

Facebook Ads - Take Back Your Feed

As I blogged about recently, a study earlier this year found that Facebook use was associated with an increased risk for disordered eating. While there are likely multiple pathways associated with this relationship, let's take a critical look at some of the ads that might pop up on your daily Facebook feed. I hope that I get more of these body-negative ads than the general public due to the content I post, but I might be wrong.

Here's one from a site called "Women's Insight" with not much insight at all. The model, pictured doing a leg abduction exercise is said to be ridding herself of "muffin top" belly fat. I'd say wrong exercise, wrong body part, except for the fact that there is no exercise that reduces fat in any part - exercise simply doesn't work that way.

Same deal for this one. No one gets a flat belly through abdominal exercises. And yes, most "regular" fitness instructor do know about crunches.

How about this one? That pesky "female metabolism" is just like a glazed donut shackled to your arm. True, diets don't work, but most women also aren't manacled to a Krispy Kreme. This ad comes from the same folks whose picture of a cellulite "cure" depicts rubbing an unpeeled orange down one's thigh.

And how about this before and after picture? What did she just transform?




And finally, this graphic, which pictures women doing push-ups(?) on top of one another to illustrate the hormone, leptin, can't even get its grammar right.

Facebook ads are misleading and destructive. While most people who read my blog can likely see past the hype, the reality is, many can't - just read the comments from people who are ready and willing to sign on to these products and programs. Even for those of us who aren't so easily swayed, the messages collectively seep into our unconscious minds, further indoctrinating us with the thin ideal and that our bodies, as is, are unacceptable.

Want to inoculate yourself against these harmful messages? Be critical consumers. Hide the ads from your feed (unless you're using them for blogging content, like me). Don't buy (or buy into) what they're selling. And finally, call them out.


p.s. My book is AVAILABLE NOW!!!! on Amazon and Barnes and Noble in paperback and Kindle formats. Check it out, and if you like it, please review on these sites!

WW, Part 2

Years ago, I visited a Weight Watchers meeting to learn more about the program and blogged about it here. An anti-diet proponent, I tried my best to be unbiased, and I walked away from the meeting thinking that as far as diets go, WW wasn't the worst-of-the-worst and that the meeting offered some cognitive behavioral tips and social support.

But still, it's a diet.

And diets can be incredibly damaging, even when they refresh their marketing campaigns and "allow" you things like unlimited fruit and especially when they start bequeathing you extra food allowances earned via exercise.

Recently, I met a woman I'll call Jessie. When Jessie told me that she was on Weight Watchers, my response was a simple, "Why?" To be honest, part of this was because Jessie was someone whom I'd describe as "normal" weight. I asked her from where on her body she planned to lose the weight. "I've already lost 13 pounds," she said, "And I still have a little to go." Okay. Well, the reality is, I would question anyone who told me she was on Weight Watchers, regardless of her size, because I think the diet mentality can create a disordered relationship with food, which ironically for her purpose, can lead to weight-gain over time.

Jessie and I ate brunch at a friend's home. Said friend served a beautiful spread - we each had some frittata, fruit, and a slice of banana bread. Now, here's where it gets interesting. Jessie ate what my friend served her, and then after the fact, told me that she was now going to have to make this a "cheat" day.

"What do you mean?" I asked. "That was a healthy breakfast!" I campaigned.

"I know," she said. "But I don't know how many points it was. And if I can't calculate the points, then I might as well just eat whatever I want the rest of the day and make it my cheat day."

Now, Jessie didn't mean that she planned on eating intuitively the rest of the day. She meant that she was going to overeat -and here's the kicker - not because she had overeaten already (which some people do out of black-and-white thinking) - but because she couldn't calculate the points and had therefore landed herself in Weight Watchers' no-man's land.

For some reason, I tried to protest. "How many points could it have been? I was satisfied but not even full."

"It's the banana bread," she replied. "The banana bread at Starbucks is almost my full-day's point allowance. If I have that, I can't eat much the rest of the day."

That criminal, homemade, small slice of banana bread. . . I was getting nowhere.

Weight Watchers, and other diets, set people up to alternate between periods of restriction and overeating. The rigidity, the rules, and the monumental distance from intuitive eating are all disordered in my mind. That a plan could say "Fine, you had your banana bread, now starve yourself until tomorrow" and call itself a flexible plan and, in any way, designed to promote health, is miles beyond my comprehension.

Want a true Weight Watchers disaster story? Read here how one woman dropped the program and regained a healthy relationship with food.

Now, that's a good plan.

Parenting Healthy Kids

Actress Drew Barrymore was quoted in February's New York magazine: "I wasn't a rebellious kid. Actually, I rebelled with junk food, because my mother was so psychotically healthy that I was like, I'm going to hide Doritos under my bed."

Barrymore's experience isn't unique. A recent article in the New York Times discussed how restricting children's access to foods can backfire, making these forbidden food even more desirable to kids.

And yet, that's what parents continue to do.

In an online parenting community I frequent, one mother expressed concern about her young daughter's eating and burgeoning weight. She noted this daughter ate more than her siblings and was in the 95th percentile for weight.

One responder, who identified as a parent educator, recommended the whole family go on a diet, either Paelo or GAPS, both of which restrict grains/carbs. She noted that her son went from "chunky" to lean on the diet she chose. Other parents applauded this mom's approach.

And of course, I had something to say in response:

Parents' attempts to restrict food can backfire and lead to overeating (same happens when we self-restrict as adults). It's important, as parents, that we focus on health, not weight. Choose foods that are nutritious and get kids moving (not exercising) in a joyful way. Labeling foods as "good" or "bad" can also backfire, as the "bad" foods become more coveted and sought out. Here's a good summary of some positive parenting/eating principles. 

Bodies are naturally diverse, as are our biologies. The attitudes we have about weight in our culture are incredibly damaging and can be transmitted to our kids even without our awareness. True, we don't want our kids bullied for their weight, but it's important that we're building them up at home. If they are eating beyond fullness or they're sedentary, that's important to address. Are they using food to cope or soothe? But if they're eating intuitively and are active, then at some point, we need to accept that bodies come in different shapes and sizes.

Stay tuned for an article version of this post, which will be published soon on a health and wellness site.

Healthline's Best Eating Disorder Blogs of the Year

Check out our new award from Healthline! Thanks to my readers for making this the blog it is.
The other blog awardees are not to be missed - check them out here.

Celebrating International No Diet Day with a Comment on Tabloid Weight Loss

At the supermarket recently, my eye caught this display:

Yes, that's right - four weight loss cover stories, all in a single glance.

We are bombarded on a daily (read: momentary) basis by content like this.

Sometimes, the weight-loss plans these magazines tout as effective aren't even responsible for said weight loss. In a feature in January's US magazine, actress Melissa Joan Hart is interviewed about her post-baby 35-pound weight loss. Hart reports turning to Nutrisystem in order to shed the weight and discusses benefits of the plan.

But, here's the funny part. The article states: "She shed the first 30 pounds before starting the program." So, yes, this Nutrisystem success story and company spokesperson dropped (best-case scenario) only five pounds on the plan. Oops.

These magazines sell content like this because we're buying it. Weight-loss plans and programs are only lucrative because we believe these stories.

We need to get smarter. We need to look at these magazine covers as no different than those featuring stars adopting alien babies. And we need to demand better content, because wouldn't it be a treat to be checking out at the grocery store and see a cover story that celebrates women or actually makes us think?

A Little Less Mindfulness?

There's a movement in the field toward mindful eating, focusing on our meals and attuning to hunger and satiety, pace of eating, etc. As a mindful eater, you might tune into the texture and flavor combinations of certain foods. You might revel in the color palette on the plate before you, or the warmth of a reduction as it first hits your palate. Perhaps you'll focus on the people and process that culminated in the fare in front of you. A move toward mindfulness can promote intuitive eating and reduce inattentive (or dissociative) overeating in those who identify this as a concern, and a likely majority of eaters could benefit from a more mindful approach.

But I think there's a limit to all this mindfulness.

I've heard some people report that they have trouble going out to eat because it interferes with their conscious eating. And sometimes, we're so focused on the need to eat mindfully, that we counter-intuitively forego eating when we're hungry because we're in the middle of something else.

One of Geneen Roth's eating guidelines, for instance, suggest you "Eat without distractions. Distractions include radio, television, newspapers, books, intense or anxiety-producing conversations or music."

While I like Roth's guidelines in general, I think it's possible to cultivate a healthy relationship with food, even if you eat with music or television in the background, or (gasp!) with a book, magazine, newspaper, or your smartphone in front of you. When I used to lead meal process groups at an eating disorder treatment center, we often had music on to accompany our meals. And, with increasing frequency, I eat at my desk with my computer as a backdrop to my meal. Sometimes, I even eat in my car.

There, I said it.

But, this doesn't mean I'm 100% checked out. Conscious eating starts when you decide what to eat and when you plate your food. It means checking in to hunger signals before you begin to eat. And it means checking in with your body for fullness and satiety at times throughout the eating experience. It doesn't mean sitting down at your computer with a Costco-sized meal, checking out, and letting the chips fall where they may. 

Where I differ from many of the mindful eating folks is that I think it can be healthy and flexible to tune out, too, as long as you check back in. Granted, this won't necessarily work for someone early in process of recovery from binge- or emotional eating, but I see it as a goal for most. Perhaps some meals we'll eat mindfully, and some we'll go back and forth. 

Having to eat always with no distractions seems overly rigid to me, the kind of rule that gets people into trouble with food in the first place. To me, fluidity in conscious eating seems more on the mark. It's a commitment to responsibility and pleasure. It allows you to converse with others, to watch your favorite program, or listen to some background music, while enjoying the food in front of you. It allows you to eat at movie theaters, ball games, and on the road. It allows mealtime to be a pleasurable, engaging process that is adaptable and flexible, ultimately aspirational, in my mind, for every disordered eater.

We're Up on Amazon!

Check it out - my book is now available to pre-order!

If you'd like to read what people are saying about the book, take a look.

Reserve your copy here.

Countdown to June 1st!

"What happens then?" you ask. . . .

The unofficial start to summer?

Bikini season? (ahem)

The anniversary of when Anne Boleyn was crowned Queen of England?

Nah.

It's the publication of my book!

Stay tuned for more information and thanks, as always, for your unrelenting support.

Exercise in Peace

Coming to the end of a challenging spin class, our instructor walked us through the readouts on the gym's new bike consoles.

"Now look down at the most important number on your console: the calories."

I disagree.

As a fitness professional, I think the most important number on the bike console is the watts, how much power generated during the workout, followed second by miles, how much (albeit fake) distance traversed. Calories? Eh.

The calories listed on any workout machine are grossly inaccurate. The instructor completely missed the boat on this one, stating that the caloric reading was accurate, independent of height and weight and other individual variables. Not so. Calories burned during a workout are a reflection of the energy used by the heart and muscles, and each person uses a different amount of energy to complete a workout. If you're less fit, you'll burn more calories at the same level of work than your marathoner friend. Your heart rate can typically predict caloric output, but unless you're wearing a heart rate monitor, this measure on cardio machines is inaccurate, too.

The instructor then went through a crowd-rousing competition. "Who burned more than 400 calories? 500? 600? 700?" Participants cheered out in celebration of their (inaccurate) caloric burn.

As a psychologist, I think there is no number tied to a successful workout. My biggest gripe with this ending to a positive and inspiring class is that, even if the readout were 100% accurate, it doesn't matter how many calories you burned. Spinning classes, like any workout, are about increasing fitness, strength, endurance, and power. It's a time to challenge yourself and clear your head. It's a celebration of being healthy and alive.

When you start measuring calories, you miss the point. For some, this turns into a compulsive relationship with exercise, where movement becomes penance for intake. Workouts become painful, instead of challenging, punishing instead of inspiring. For the class participants who struggle with an eating disorder or body image concerns (and yes, they are taking these classes), comments about calories can be difficult to hear and can even trigger disordered behavior.

Join me in challenging the fitness industry's focus on exercise as compensation for meals. Choose a goal for your workouts that is independent of calories burned (think goals related to speed, distance, experiencing feel-good chemicals, just getting out the door). Explain to your trainers and group fitness instructors why a focus on calories is tangential at best and harmful for many.

Exercise in peace.

#ICED2014 Recap (Media Highlights)

I just returned from the International Conference on Eating Disorders and was thrilled to connect with like-minded colleagues and learn the latest on eating-disorder and body-image research.

The keynote speaker was Frank Bruni, current Op-Ed columnist and past restaurant critic for the New York Times. Bruni, a heavy child, spoke about his history with dieting, weight stigma, and ultimately, an eating disorder, as he began purging as a way to compensate for eating off-diet foods. Here are a few things Bruni found useful in his recovery:

1) Recognizing that he's not built to be a skinny man and accepting that he has a larger appetite than others
2) Becoming obsessed with food quality rather than quantity - thus his parlay into food criticism
3) Refusing to cast eating behavior as a measure of willpower or character
4) Getting bothered by how much time he was spending on food obsession and how ultimately boring an endeavor this was

Here's a picture of the Academy's social media committee and frequent tweeters, who passed along tons of good content throughout the event:

If you want to read ALL our tweets (it's as if you were there!), check out #ICED2014 on Twubs.

My favorite event was a plenary entitled, "Adolescents and the Media: The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly."

So, long story short, the media doesn't cause eating disorders, but the 10-plus hours a day (reported by Mediatrician, Dr. Michael Rich) of media that teens are currently consuming certainly don't help. Eating disorders are complicated illnesses with various causal factors. Sociocultural influences can trigger eating disorders in those biologically/genetically susceptible, as well as disordered thought patterns and behaviors in the general population (which, as research shows, can sometimes morph into clinical pathology). We saw several examples of this in our plenary.

Kristina Saffran, a 21-year-old Harvard student wowed a roomful of 1000+ professionals with her inspiring talk about recovery and the birth of her nonprofit. Saffran is co-founder of Project Heal, an organization designed to increase awareness about eating disorders, as well as access to treatment - the foundation offers scholarships to those who don't have the means to finance treatment themselves. Part of Saffran's motivation to create Project Heal occurred out of her use of social media in her own recovery - what she found as she attempted to connect with others recovering online was a host of triggering images, updates, and comments. Saffran wanted to establish a space that was more recovery-oriented for those leaving treatment and needing ongoing, positive support.

Anne Becker, an anthropologist and psychologist who conducted the classic Fiji study, also spoke at this event. The Fiji study demonstrated the significant influence of media access on disordered eating and body-image disturbances. In a three-year period during which Fijian subjects first got access to television, the island nation witnessed rapid decreases in body image measures among teens, and researchers also documented a substantial increase in purging to manage weight among these same girls.

Phillippa Diedrichs, a health psychology researcher, spoke about some increasing efforts toward diversity in modeling/advertising (which still have ways to go), and discussed research around Photo-shopping/retouching on body image. My favorite point from her? We can "become the media" through our informed and relentless use of social media.

So, let's use this as a call to action and just as Saffran has done, and as I've attempted to do with this blog, find a way to use media actively and responsibly. We can counter the hoards of pernicious content available today by offering healthy, positive alternatives. Be active on social media to change the climate. We need your help.

Facebook and Disordered Eating

A recent study suggested that high levels of Facebook use are associated with an increased risk for eating disorders. The study, out of Florida State University, was published in a recent issue of the International Journal of Eating Disorders.

Why is it that spending more time on Facebook could increase disordered eating? Check out some of my theories here. Can you think of any others?

Still, let's not throw out the baby with the bathwater. Facebook, and other forms of social media, can be used for good, too. 

Body image/eating disorder warrior Claire Mysko makes the case for social media as a advocacy tool in a response article here.

As Mysko writes: "Social media can stoke body dissatisfaction and reinforce disordered eating. It can also empower individuals to use their voices and resist mainstream media messages about beauty and thinness. Let's keep working to understand the nuances of those risks and leverage the benefits to build a movement of change."

So, as with most other concepts, Facebook is neither all good nor all bad when it comes to eating disorders. If you find that your Facebook use is resulting in destructive thoughts and behaviors, it might be time to scale back your use. You might also choose to like some body positive sites to counteract the hoards of other posts and advertisements celebrating restrictive eating, overexercising, and the thin ideal that make their way across your feed each day. 

And Every Man, Too?

You might think that in writing this blog, I think that only women are afflicted with eating disorders. Not so.

The reality is that men, too, suffer from eating disorder and body image problems, and they seem to be closing the gap in the gender discrepancy we previously knew - or thought we knew.

A number of people and organizations are getting loud about the problem in eating disorders in men. One is Sam Thomas, the founder of director of Men Get Eating Disorders Too, a UK-based charity designed to raise awareness and provide support to men with eating disorders.

Recently, Thomas wrote an article* dedicated to Jeremy Gillitzer, whom he credits as helping him inspire him to found his organization. In the article, Thomas mentions that Gillitzer lost his life to his eating disorder (in 2010 at age 38).

Reading this article struck me like a ton of bricks. I remember Jeremy posting in these circles back in my early blogging days. I remember reading his story and seeing his pictures and, to be one hundred percent honest, thinking to myself, "This guy is going to die." And sadly, he did. I disclose this with a sense of helplessness and regret that none of us were able to bolster Jeremy in fighting this disease.

So, be clear, as Thomas says, men get eating disorders, too. They may not get treatment as frequently or quickly as women because of the shame associated with having a traditionally "female" disorder and because they fly under the radar of professionals and the world around them, but it is imperative that we support and take action on behalf of all of our brothers in need.

*Note: There is a picture of Jeremy at the bottom of the article (in his illness) that may be triggering and/or difficult to view.

Surfer Girl

On a beach walk one morning, two groups of children caught my eye. The first was a group of boys, with a fairly large age range, maybe 6-16. They were little surfers, hitting the morning Pacific waves with spirited tries.

Next I came across a smaller group of tween girls participating in a makeshift photo shoot. Clad in cute tops and short shorts, hair and make-up done, they jumped in the air and splashed in the surf, flirting with the photographer, while the sand-mounted camera flickered away.

Encountering these two groups of kids cemented for me how differently we socialize our children to be in this world. We tell our sons to be active and have fun, our daughters to look flirty and be cute. Boys are taught to do; girls are taught to be. And it's not surprising that so many girls grow up to have body image and self-esteem concerns, as we all but coach them to equate their identity with their appearance.

But each one of us can do something about this now. If you have a daughter or niece or favorite little girl in your life, teach her to surf. Teach her to climb trees, sing loud, ride bikes, chase the moon, and get dirty on a Sunday afternoon. Teach her that she's capable of doing and learning and being a presence, rather than just an image, in this world. She might cast a glance at a camera every once in a while, but she'll be too busy to look for long.

Book Review - Making Peace with Your Plate

"No one tells you that eating disorders are ugly," says Robyn Cruze, co-author of Making Peace with Your Plate: Eating Disorder Recovery. "When I was enmeshed in my eating disorder, I felt the opposite. I believed it would keep me safe and in control, and make me desirable. I thought it would protect me from myself."

So, how does the balance shift for Cruze? Eventually she finds motivation for change in the desire for freedom: "I so desperately wanted to experience life without the shackles of my eating disorder. I wanted to live, not just survive." At one point, Cruze declares: "My need to recover eventually became greater than my need to be thin." In my mind, this one pithy line captures recovery to a tee - almost everyone I've worked with has had a similar type of shift that ultimately drove her toward change.

As part of her journey, Cruze meets Espra Andrus, LCSW, a therapist trained in DBT. Though their time together was brief, Cruze was so moved by their meeting that she sought out Andrus to help her co-write this book. The result is a back-and-forth narrative that alternately captures Cruze's story with Andrus's clinical wisdom.

One of the best aspects to this book is the many exercises that help readers challenge their eating disorder voices with the truth, a common cognitive therapy technique and useful externalization of the eating disorder.
Here's one example:

Eating disorder: "There is no better way to get off of a spinning merry-go-round than to hang out with me."
Truth: It is true that getting lost in eating-disorder thoughts and/or behaviors makes the chaos of things whirling around you disappear. The problem is that the merry-go-round hasn't actually stopped. You just close your eyes."

And another:

Eating disorder: "Honest, I really do help. I number the pain. Numbing pains the secret to life. . . and you need me."
Truth: Yes, your eating disorder serves as a quick fix for hard emotions - before it takes everything from you. And it will take everything from you.

Andrus also provides specific techniques designed to aid in the recovery process. For instance, she encourages readers to make a list of potentially triggering comments from others (e.g., "You've lost some weight, you look good") and then "For each of these triggering words or phrases, write down what you might say, not say, do, or not do, when you hear them, then practice saying your responses out loud." As anyone in recovery can tell you, being prepared for these conversational challenges can go a long way.

Now recovered, Cruze reports: "The true value of recovery is in the process of "checking in" with myself and honoring that voice that longs to be heard and that encourages me to keep moving forward. And with each positive action I take toward this, I secure a little more self-worth from deep within."

What an inspirational definition of recovery. . .

Eating Disorder Memoirs: Helpful or Harmful?

What do you think?

The Academy for Eating Disorders is hosting a Twitter Chat on 3/13 (5pm EST) entitled, "Eating Disorders: Helpful or Harmful?" According to the blurb:

Eating disorder memoirs have received significant attention as of late. Some diagnosed with eating disorders find writing and sharing their story helpful in the process of their recovery. But are these stories beneficial to their target audience? If you have an eating disorder, does reading eating disorder memoirs provide guidance on recovery and pocket support? Or, can reading these stories trigger increased eating-disorder behavior? AED takes a careful look at the pros and cons of eating disorder memoirs with the help of guests Carrie Arnold and Dr. Jennifer Thomas, in a lively chat you won't want to miss.

On behalf of the Academy's Social Media Committee (@aedweb), I'll be asking our guests some thought-provoking questions, and the discussion promises to be an engaging one.

If you'd like to join, just follow these instructions provided by AED:

It's easy to join in the chat! - Try it!1. Go to www.tweetchat.com2. Enter the name of the chat: #AEDchat
3. Next, read the posts and/or sign in to add your tweets.
Note: If you're tweeting, Tweetchat will add the chat hashtag (#AEDchat) each time for you.
Don't have Twitter account yet? You can create one here. You'll then be ready to follow the AED Twitter chat using hashtag #aedchat.

Would love to see you all there!

"She Doesn't Need to See the Menu"

Check out "She Doesn't Need to See the Menu" by Blythe Baird.

Baird uses words in phenomenal ways.

*Note: The poem may be a bit triggering for some.

The Biggest Eating Disorder?

The Biggest Loser winner Rachel Frederickson has made waves across the nation with her 155-pound weight loss. Frederickson dropped about a pound a day, a loss more rapid than any health professional would advise, and landed herself south of a healthy BMI.

Many have criticized Frederickson's new physique, calling her "unhealthy" or "anorexic." Truth be told, we know nothing of her health or eating disorder status. We do know that it isn't healthy to drop such a large amount of weight in a short period time (regardless of starting and ending weight), but we don't know where Frederickson falls on various health metrics.

But let's zoom out a bit. . . .

In our culture, we seem to stand on the sidelines, cheering weight loss among celebrities, fat reality show contestants, personal contacts, etc. It's as if we chant, "Thinner, thinner, thinner!" until, "Oops, too thin." I've seen this happen with a number of stars and hear it constantly in my work and in the world around me.

Millions of people watch TBL and cheer unhealthy weight loss methods until, oops, someone takes it a bit too far. But Frederickson was just playing the game well. This is a show that is predicated upon an eating disorder. It's a show that demands over-(compulsive) exercise and a very low calorie diet. It's a show that encourages weight stigma and fat shaming. And it's a show that gives the not-so-subtle message that it doesn't matter what you do, as long as you lose weight.

Just recently, trainer Jillian Michaels was slapped on the wrist for supplying her team with caffeine supplements in her quest to get them thin. Would you consider Adderall or cocaine, Jillian, if it meant securing the win? Where do you draw the line?

In the pursuit of skinny, lines are blurred and health is relegated to back-burner status. The only reason Frederickson's possibly unhealthy loss has garnered so much attention is that she happens to look so gaunt. As prior TBL contestants have revealed, the show promotes disordered behavior and unhealthy measures. Just because other contestants haven't dropped to Frederickson's low doesn't mean that they haven't compromised their physical and psychological health as a result of their participation on the show.

Michaels and fellow trainer Bob Harper declined to comment on Frederickson's weight loss, but as a personal trainer, I will. Frederickson's weight loss is unhealthy, as is the other contestants'. It's accomplished via destructive and humiliating behaviors and beliefs, and it lands a sucker punch on America's self-esteem. I can't even tell you how many people have ended up on my therapeutic couch who begin their story with some variation of, "I lost a lot of weight when following a personal trainer's diet and exercise guidelines."

Leslie Goldman, author of The Locker Room Diaries, thinks that Frederickson's weight loss "sets the body image movement back." I think the show itself, and its celebrated place in our culture, proves we still have work to do.

Why I Choose to Eat Intuitively and How You Can, Too

A friend visited weeks ago and asked how I don't go overboard on all the treats I have stocked in my kitchen cupboard (when she visits, she does a self-acknowledged mini-raid).  "How is it that you're not always eating this stuff?" she wondered, and I replied, "Because it's always here."

When you decide to loosen the rules around food restriction, it's surprising how the forbidden fruit becomes just fruit.

Another friend was visiting recently and while we were gabbing in the kitchen, I grabbed a few cookies from the counter.

My friend interrupted her own speech and said, "That's so great that you can grab a handful of cookies and not feel bad about it in the morning."

I paused, as I digested what she was saying.  She assumed that I don't regret my food choices in the morning, but she was actually right.  My pause, however, was more about the reality that anyone can make this choice, to eat dessert without guilt.  I don't have special powers.  What I do have is an intention to have a healthy relationship with food.  I've decided that for me, enjoying food is more important than fitting into the jeans I wore in my twenties.  I could probably do that if I really, really restricted my diet, but it's just not worth it to me.

Drew Barrymore seems to feel the same.  The actress, gearing up to be a second-time mom, reflected on food, weight, and body image in an issue of Allure magazine: "I cannot live a life where I"m deprived. I'd much rather be five, 10 pounds heavier." Barrymore went on, "With my luck, I'll get myself to that perfect goal weight, and I'll get hit by a bus. Then, I'll be like. . . looking at myself from some afterlife going, 'You idiot. You could have had that agnolotti, dummy.'"

I love the freedom of eating intuitively.  I love the freedom of not thinking about food all the time.  So, the jeans from years ago, well, they just had to go.

Resolutions

To start the year off on a positive note, avoid resolutions in the spirit of self-dislike.  Rather than focusing on weight loss, why not resolve to improve your relationship with food, and while you're at it, your relationship with your body?  This will help you now and will last way beyond the crash-diet/gym-heavy January norm.

Other ideas for resolutions:

• Develop a healthier relationship with exercise
• Improve self-acceptance
• Practice imperfection
• Accept yourself as is, while still leaving room for change and growth

Happy New Year.