Can You Love Your Body Without Really Loving Your Body?

Lose the Diet.

Love Your Body.

Eat in Peace.

Those are three of the major tenets of my work with eating and body image.  The order in which women accomplish these goals is fairly standard.  First, they give up dieting.  While this may be a radical notion for some, usually it's not too difficult to accomplish.  Next, and as a part of a new non-dieting approach, they learn to find peace with food.  This step may require a bit more finagling, but many women are still able to find success.  So far, so good. . .  But, what comes next is, in my opinion, significantly more challenging to approach.

Love Your Body.

What does that mean?  Do you really need to love your body to move beyond eating and body issues?  Is love a requirement to heal?

I don't believe that you must really love your body in order to recover.  The truth is that most women (and an increasing number of men these days) don't love their bodies.  But, what is important is acting as if you love your body.  What does that mean exactly?

• You refrain from attacking your body with verbal and visual assaults.
• You take care of your body, providing it with adequate nutrition, sleep, and other self-care behaviors.
• You exercise for health and enjoyment, not for punishment or compensation.
• You wear clothing that fits, is comfortable, and flatters your physique.
• You participate in activities that you enjoy, without letting your size keep you sidelined or from enjoying these activities.  
• You have a healthy sexual/romantic life, and your body image isn't an obstacle to your sexuality.
• You treat your body well, and if finances allow, you go for massages, manicures, etc.  
• You accept that while you might prefer to be thinner, taller, tanner, or more toned, this is your body now. 

Can you try to act as if?  

Developing a Healthy Relationship with Exercise

Exercise is a wonderful thing.  Unfortunately, that's not the case for most people I know.  It seems I'm usually either working with people to begin an exercise program or, on the other extreme, to back off of an exercise regime they don't enjoy but feel compelled to do.  As a psychologist who specializes in eating/body issues, who also has a master's degree in sport/exercise psychology and has been certified as a personal trainer for over 15 years, I am uniquely positioned to comment on both sides of the exercise spectrum, from under-exercise to exercise addiction.

We know that a large percentage of people who begin an exercise program will drop out within the first six months.  Why?  Because they don't like what they're doing.  Because they burn out. Because life gets in the way. If you follow these tips, though, you'll be more likely to commit to healthy activity over the long-haul because you'll actually enjoy what you're doing. Remember, the goal is to choose an "exercise lifestyle" that will work for the rest of your years.

1)  Cross-train:  Trainers have been talking for eons about the physiological benefits of cross-training, but cross-training has significant mental pros, too.  Participating in different activities throughout the week (month or year) reduces emotional burnout.

2)  Get outside:  There's something about fresh air and the sights, smells and sounds of city/country living that can contribute to the psychological benefits of fitness.  Nature, too, is a natural mood-booster.  True, some may also enjoy the sights (maybe not the smells) of their local gym, but still, I recommend that, weather-permitting, you mix it up a bit.

3)  Ban the gym:  Speaking of the gym, consider your relationship with your local Gold's or Equinox. If you hate going there, it's going to be an uphill battle all the way, and chances are, you'll drop out. If the gym connotes discomfort, punishment, etc., choose another venue you actually look forward to visiting.  Play tennis.  Go hiking.  Take salsa lessons. There is absolutely no need to go to the gym if that's not your thing.  Adrenaline junkie?  Try rock climbing, ocean swimming, mountain biking.  You'd be impressed at how infinitely more thrilling chasing the speed limit cycling westbound on San Vincente in L.A. or on the downhill stretch of Harlem Hill in Central Park can be than parking yourself on the stationary bike at the gym.

4)  Get your soundtrack on:  Studies show that we'll work out longer and harder when accompanied by good music.  I love my music collection so much that I look forward to the movement it commands.  You, too, can create a personal dance party on your MP3 player. For more of a challenge, choose faster-paced music, as we unconsciously move our bodies to the beat.

5)  Set goals:  It's incredibly motivating to have a project or goal to work toward.  Sign up for your first 5k (or muddy buddy race, if that's your thing).  Join a summer basketball league, knowing that you'd like to be in fighting shape before the league begins.  Having some sort of goal or deadline can enhance your fitness commitment and keep you on track.

6)  Forget the weight:  Exercise because it feels good and contributes to physical and psychological health, not because it burns calories or helps you lose or maintain weight. Those who begin exercise programs to lose weight often drop out when they don't see the immediate desired results. On the other extreme, exercise can become disordered as individuals seek to burn off each additional calorie they've consumed.  Exercise is a privilege, not a punishment for consumption.  I wish that all group fitness instructors would, in their prompts during class, focus on strength, health, and fun, rather than calories and weight. 15 years ago, I wrote my master's thesis on the mood-enhancing properties of exercise, and I still stand behind that research.   Exercise results in reduced depression and anxiety and increased self-esteem.  Work out with these significant benefits in mind.

7)  Be consistent:  Hemming and hawing about should I or shouldn't I work out today creates too much room for bailing.  Have a set schedule that you commit to, unless you're sick or something urgent arises.  Consider fitness to be a part of your everyday routine.

8)  Take it easy:  Yes, it is possible both to be consistent and to take it easy.  Schedule days off.  This one is particularly challenging for those who have a compulsive relationship with exercise, but for that reason alone, it's important to achieve.  The body (and the mind) need some time to recover.  Taking a couple of days off per week allows you to come back clearer, stronger, and more determined.  Schedule weeks off here or there throughout the year to recover more fully and further increase your drive.  Prove that you have a  healthy relationship with exercise by taking time off for work/family obligations, travel, illness, surgeries, etc. without suffering guilt, anxiety, or depression.

9)  Embrace the grays:  Taking it easy also involves embracing the grays:  Despite what almost everyone I work with believes, I still espouse that 15 minutes of exercise is better than nothing. If you don't have the time or energy to put it a full workout, do what you can. Trust me, it still counts. On a related note, your workout should not feel like 45 minutes of physical torture. Many people dislike exercise because they equate it with pain. Back off to a degree where you feel challenged, but not distressed. Especially if you're having an off day, give yourself permission to dial back the effort. Your run can turn into a walk, your kickboxing class into a yoga class class across the gym. And yes, it still counts.

10)  Practice gratitude: Take a moment to remember how lucky you are to choose to move your body.  Be thankful for functioning limbs, a healthy heart and lungs, and the lifestyle wherewithal that allows you to have  the time, space, and energy to move.

Bumpy Roads

What do Kim Kardashian, Jessica Simpson, and Kate Middleton have in common?  Yes, they're all famous, and yes, they're all pregnant, but all three have also been criticized for their pregnancy shape.

As if the physical and emotional aspects of pregnancy aren't enough stress to bear, women's pregnant bodies are constantly scrutinized and judged by others.  Are you gaining enough weight?  Are you gaining too much weight?  Or are you the Goldilocks of motherhood?

For those who struggled with food prior to pregnancy, these 10 months can be exceptionally challenging.  Morning sickness, weekly weight checks, a growing belly (and body. . .  even despite a real and delicious purpose), sometimes well-intentioned comments about the "right" things to eat--all can rile up an already shaky relationship with food and weight.  And, as more and more women are turning to fertility treatments these days, tack on additional pre-pregnancy gain.

A lot of this cannot be stopped.  But the comments, they need to cease.  Internet magazine Jezebel recently ran an article lambasting the media hoopla around Kim K's gain.  I say, we need to apply these words to every expecting mother.  Not one woman should be critically commenting on another woman's growing belly.  It's the quickest, surest way to devalue the miracle of life.  

I Recommend This Book to No One

Remember those book reports from grade school, which inevitably concluded with your recommendation for a target audience ("I'd recommend this book to other boys and girls my age. . . .")?

Well, I found a book that I would like to recommend to no one.

I was browsing in my local novelty shop and came across this title:

Never have I been so disappointed by a subtitle. And to think, the title had such promise!

So, I found myself mentally rewriting the subtitle (and, of course, by extension, the book).   Six Weeks to OMG:  Never Pick Up a Diet Book Again. . .  Six Weeks to OMG:  Learn How to Challenge Current Media Representations of Women. . .  Six Weeks to OMG:  Finally Organize Your Sock Drawer. . .  really anything than the one they chose.

How would you rename this book?  What can you accomplish in six weeks that is healthier and more productive than the promise laid out here?

NEDAwareness Week

You do know that it's National Eating Disorder Awareness Week, right? 

Check out NEDA's new graphics on eating disorders in men and women.  Did you learn something new?

Here are my NEDAW plans:

1) This past weekend, I attended FBT training at Stanford University.  What an informative weekend!

2)  Yesterday, I attended this great talk on evidenced-based treatment.

3)  On Friday, I kick off Sierra Tucson's Symposium for Eating Disorder Treatment (Remember those questions I asked you a while back about therapist preferences?  I'll be drawing from your responses.)  I'll be followed by a number of impressive names in the field.  

4)  On Saturday, I'm joining colleagues for the first-ever Los Angeles NEDA Walk!  

What are you doing to move yourself and others along in recovery this week?  

Are you talking the talk and walking the walk?  

OA (Oh No?)

12-step programs have guided countless individuals to sobriety and recovery.  I've worked with patients who fully attribute their substance abuse recovery to participation in "the rooms."  While some patients never take to the fellowship, citing a variety of objections (e.g., don't like the idea of a higher power, feel the organization is cultish, etc.), many find these self-help groups to be helpful and supportive.

Do these same benefits translate to the world of overeating? Is Overeaters Anonymous helpful or hurtful?

We know that that there is something inherently addictive about alcohol and other drugs.  With food, I'm not so sure.  Despite plentiful claims in the popular media, we don't have any good research that suggests that "food addiction" exists.  For an interesting summary on this debate, check out this dietitian's blog.  We know that people can demonstrate an addictive relationship around food, but this doesn't mean that the food itself is addictive.  Rather, behaviors like restriction and bingeing can be incredibly habit-forming.

Moreover, most of the foods that people label as addictive (e.g., sugar, carbohydrates, fats, etc.) are foods that they've tried to restrict in some ways. Deprivation can, as we know, lead to overeating.  For instance, almost every patient I see who tells me she's addicted to sugar happens to be restricting her carbs.  Once she  supplements her carbohydrate intake, much of the sugar cravings subside.

The problem with OA is that many groups (not all, but many) conceptualize food or certain foods as addictive.  As a solution, they preach abstinence (similar to other 12-step programs).  OA members will speak of their abstinence from sugar, wheat, etc.  Some OA sponsors will prescribe their sponsees specific meal plans.  Any departure from the meal plan is considered a relapse (i.e., back to Day 1).

The problem with this approach, if you're not guessing this already, is that abstinence equals deprivation!  As a result, many who try out OA, find themselves developing even greater problems with bingeing or overeating, as a result of the diet-binge cycle.  We're able to carve out an existence without alcohol or drug. but abstinence from food is impossible and abstinence from certain foods increases the experience of deprivation.  By defaulting to abstinence, OA does not teach members how to eat in moderation (which, in my opinion, is necessary to be functional around food in this world), contend with emotions that lead to overeating, or heal one's relationship with food.  It only makes it worse.  OA members may practice abstinence from various foods until a time in which they're presented with that food/can't take it any longer/give up. . . leading to one colossal binge.  I've worked with a number of patients who come into treatment, precipitated by an increase in disordered eating, which they attribute to OA.

Now, it may be possible to find OA groups and/or sponsors that are less restrictive and offer the typical benefits associated with 12-step groups.  But unless that's possible, those who struggle with compulsive eating may be better served through Anorexics and Bulimics Anonymous or emotional eating groups run by private practitioners who espouse a more intuitive approach to eating and food.

Thoughts?

*thanks to Meliss, who begged the question : )

News and Such (Is That a Bird?)

1)  Here's the press release for ED Hope's 25 Best Blogs of the Year.  As the release suggests, the blogs represent a diverse pool on perspectives and writing on ed's yet are unified in their drive toward health and recovery.  While you're at it, take a peak at ED Hope, a great resource for ed's.
2)  I've succumbed.  I'm now on Twitter:   Follow @drstaceyla

3)  And finally, don't you just love Kate Winslet?

Another Award!

DEWHAED has been selected as one of Eating Disorder Hope's "Top 25 Eating Disorder Blogs of 2012."  Check out the other 24 blogs here.  I'm excited to be in such good company!

Honored as a top resource for eating disorder treatment, recovery, and awareness.

Objectify

For another take on women and our bodies, check out All this beauty.

Help!

I'm giving a talk on eating disorder treatment in March, and I'd like to ask for your help.  Two questions I want to address are:

1)  What are the perceived benefits of seeing a therapist who specializes in eating disorders?

2)  Do you have any feelings (or preferences) regarding the shape/size of your eating disorder therapist?

If you have any responses, please feel free to post as comments or email me privately.  If I choose to use your response, I will, of course, remove any identifying information for the talk.

Thanks!

The Times They Are a Changin'?

Happy New Year, DEWHAED readers!

And a happy new year it is. . .  Several news pieces this year have already made me squeal with delight!

Have you heard that the percentage of Americans (women, in particular) who are on a diet has drastically declined in the last 20 years?  The NPD Group, who conducted the study, report:

Our data suggests that dieters are giving up on diets more quickly than in the past. In 2004, 66 percent of all dieters said they were on a diet for at least 6 months. In 2012, that number dropped to 62 percent. Perhaps people are not seeing results quickly enough. . . Americans still want to lose weight, but we are seeing a change in attitudes about being overweight.

According to the NPD, from 1992-2012, the percentage of female dieters has dropped from 34% to 23%.

Then, of course, there was the recent JAMA publication, a meta-analytic research review (that means the results are powerful!) that found that overweight people have a lower risk of mortality than people of "normal" weight.  The study even found that those who are low grade obese (BMI = 30-34.9) had equal rates of mortality as their "normal"-weight peers.

And, just last week, UCLA Sociologist, Dr. Abigail Saguy wrote a fabulous OP-ED for the LA Times.  Saguy recently published the book, What's Wrong With Fat?, which I can't wait to get my hands on when it (hopefully) arrives in my mailbox this week.  Take a peak here:

I was able to book Dr. Saguy to speak in March to a group of local eating-disorder professionals I chair, and I can't wait to hear her talk.

Hope your new year is off to a healthy and happy start. . . .

Happy Body Days!

Christmas, Hanukkah, the New Year.  Want to add your body to the list of celebrations?

Here are some powerful messages from powerful women to get you started:

Happy holidays and happy body days.  See you in the new year. . .

Nutritional Recommendations

Recently, I attended an eating disorders talk given by a well-known local dietitian.  Boy, was I in for a surprise!

The R.D.'s talk centered around the benefits of proteins, the dangers of carbs.  Toward the end, she gave us some sample high-protein breakfasts, including a couple she routinely eats. Each contained about 50% of the  calories typically recommended for breakfast by nutritionists.

I was surprised that someone was sharing this information at a gathering of eating disorders professionals and when I asked her how she presents this information to her clients without triggering their symptoms, the facilitator noted that the dietitian was focusing mainly on nutritional recommendations for medical populations (e.g., diabetics).

An eager hospital-based internal medicine doctor in the crowd supported many of the RD's points, stating that he often places his patients on "no-carb" diets for successful weight loss.  I'm guessing that this physician does not follow his patients long-term.

My takeaways from this talk?

1)  Physicians shouldn't be prescribing diets for their patients.  A 2010 study revealed that medical students receive, on average, 19.6 hours of nutritional education, hardly enough to qualify them as nutritional experts.

2)  Again and again, weight loss through restrictive dieting is recommended for medical populations, but typically, these restrictive diets lead to weight-cycling (which has more deleterious effects on health than remaining at a higher, stable weight).  Significant weight-cycling occurs as a function of deprivation-influenced overeating.

3)  Those who struggle with eating disorders need to be VERY careful in selecting their providers.  It is not enough to see a dietitian who lists eating disorders as one of her specialties.  Instead, those with e.d.'s must vet their providers to ensure that they understand typical symptom triggers, promote a healthy relationship with food, and operate from a recovery perspective.

Hot Pants

Have you heard of fat-burning Hot Pants?  One day, I overheard a woman claim to her friend that she was consistently burning extra calories at the gym due to the specific athletic shorts she wore.

Is it that simple?  Can the clothing you choose increase your energy expenditure?  Is hotter better?

Doubtful.  

A visit to the Zaggora Hot Pants website reveals that their research studies were conducted on 13-14 participants, a far cry from the robust sample sizes needed to draw meaningful conclusions.  This exercise physiologist's website does a good job at challenging Zaggora's claims about their products.

As with many weight loss programs, plans, products, gimmicks, etc., if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.  When you learn about the new it-product, remember to think objectively, critically, and scientifically.

So, skip the Hot Pants and save your hard-earned cash for gym wear that provides fit, function, and style.  

Jenni, Jenni, Who Can I Turn To?

A couple of months back, I received an email from Jenni Schaefer, Author of Life Without Ed and Goodbye Ed, Hello Me.  She and a colleague had stumbled across my blog and asked me to elaborate on my DEWHAED theory.  

We exchanged a few messages, and then I asked her what she thought of the DEWHAED philosophy, to which she replied:

Everyone living in Western society hears that negative voice that tells us our bodies aren't good enough. After fully recovering from my eating disorder, I choose to call that voice Societal Ed -- society's eating disorder. What I have learned is that all people might hear that voice, but we don't all have to listen. I choose not to listen anymore!*

Recently, I had the opportunity to meet Jenni and to hear her speak.  She's a great speaker, funny, informative, and warm.  And check out this amazing poem she wrote.  Can you make these words your own?  Can you turn to and honor this voice, rather than the voice of Societal Ed?

*Jenni Schaefer, Author of Life Without Ed and Goodbye Ed, Hello Me - www.JenniSchaefer.com

L.A. Woman

(from Los Angeles magazine)

The current issue of Los Angeles magazine has an 18-page spread on plastic surgery.  The cover story beckons:  "Say Hello to the New You. . . "

And what exactly does the new you look like, if you happen to live in L.A.?

        

One piece, entitled, "Meet the New L.A. Ideal" discusses the features of the new and improved Beverly Hills housewife, whom writer Nancy Miller says is less Pamela Anderson, more Sofia Vergara.  Think long, full hair; bigger facial features; mid-size breasts; and, owing to Sir Mix-A-Lot, an Oakland booty.

Is Miller's prototype on point?  How does the ideal woman (as judged by the plastic surgery procedures du jour)  in your city compare?

Diet Central

Most of us are familiar with Albert Einstein’s definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. However, you wouldn’t know it from our 60 billion (and counting) diet industry. Women try diet after diet after diet, somehow hoping that this one will be the one that works. . . and lasts.

It’s hard to go a few weeks (or minutes, if we happen to have just celebrated a new year) without seeing or hearing commercials from our nation's power players, often pitched by celebrities who have signed multi-million dollar endorsement deals to show how this plan has worked for them.  Does anyone not know what Jessica Simpson has been up to lately?  

How many diet plans can you name off the top of your head?  Can you name more diets or Supreme Court justices?  (no cheating on either!)

The Best Eating Disorder Blogs

DEWHAED is honored to be included in Healthline's "18 Best Eating Disorder Blogs of 2012."  Check out the rest here.

Olympic Pride

As the Olympic fever has settled,  I've paused to reflect on this year's games.

By all appearances, the London Olympics celebrated the female athlete.  More women competed in these games than any in history.  More American women made the team than men, and they won their fair share of our nation's hefty gold medal count.

And by most appearances, the female athlete in London was prized for her strength, her endurance, her power, and speed.  There were bodies of different shapes and sizes, but it seems we focused more on what these bodies were capable of doing, rather than how they looked.

Except that we had to hear about gold medalist Gabby Douglas's hair (occasionally at the expense of her gold-medal accomplishments and the records she set for American women and women of color).

And Holley Mangold's weight (often at the expense at how much weight she was lifting).

And one news story reported that the Brazilian women's soccer team were called "a bit heavy" by the coach of another team.

Can we continue to move beyond these inconsequential details in our appreciation of female athleticism?

A friend of mine recently posted on Facebook that her trainer, with whom she had recently begun kickboxing, commanded her a few weeks ago to "Stop throwing punches like a girl!"

After the games, and in light of American, gold-medalist slugger Claressa Shield's victory, my friend wrote:  "He needs to rethink that statement."

He does.  Because women can be strong and fit and powerful and fast and flexible and tough and determined and fierce, and the shape of their bodies is nothing near as important as their prowess in sport.

Congrats Team USA.

Give Pizza a Chance

Sometimes these blog topics just fall into my lap. . .

Recently, I took a fun, challenging yoga class on a late Sunday afternoon.  After class, as I walked out of the studio, tired and hungry, I peeked into a pizza parlor down the block to check out their menu.  Over my shoulder I heard a voice whisper loudly, "Don't do it!  We just took yoga!"  No, this was not my inner Jenny Craig, but a fellow female yogi. I suppose this woman, about my age, had seen me in class.  And there I was, standing on a summer sidewalk, caught in the moment, trying to walk that fine line between maintaining civility and promoting a cause.

On the spot, what I came up with was, "Aw, it's all part of feeling good." What I really wanted to say was, "What does one thing have to do with the other?" or "Why are you telling me what to eat?"

Why can't yoga and pizza peacefully coexist?

Ironically enough, the website for the aforementioned pizza shop (a place known for its salads, paninis, pizzas, and pastas, as well as its gluten-free pies), proclaims "Eat Well and Be Happy!"

And isn't that the ultimate goal?

Big Gulp

By now, you've probably heard that New York City Mayor Bloomberg has pushed for a measure that will limit soda consumption in the city.  If the soda crackdown passes, restaurants, movie theaters, sports, arenas, food carts, and delis will all be banned from selling sodas larger than 16 ounces.  Of course, diet soda is exempt from the ban, illustrating the mayor's ongoing approval of consumption of mass quantities of sugar substitutes.  And, other loopholes abound, ensuring you can still get your 16+ ounces of sugary soda if need be.  


Is this measure the answer to our nation's expanding waistline?  New York City has already mandated posted calorie counts at many restaurants and banned the use of trans fats.  Banning soda seems to be the next logical step.  Supporters note that heavily taxing cigarettes in the NYC has led to significantly lower rates of smoking.  But are food-based "nanny state" tactics the solution?  What about the underlying questions of money and class?  In this week's New Yorker, Fran Lebowitz notes: "'These issues are class issues.  Soda is the recreation--the summer-house--of the poor.  It's an indulgence, and it's something they can indulge in.'"  Critics would argue that our tax dollar shouldn't go toward footing the (medical) bill for recreational indulgences.  But, the proposed soda bill begs the issue, where do we draw the line?  Sources have already revealed that milkshakes and movie theater popcorn may be up to bat next.   What about subsidizing fruits and vegetables, instead?  Is there a way to educate, not legislate? 

Recovery

The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice --
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do --
determined to save
the only life you could save. 

 

 Mary Oliver 

Fat Shame

Thanks Again

Have you been gravitating toward higher calorie foods since 2008?  In a study presented back in August at the yearly meeting of the American Psychological Association, University of Miami marketing doctoral student Anthony Salerno suggests that your choices may be due to the economy.

Salerno's research found that study participants primed to focus on deprivation chose higher calorie foods, compared to those who focused more on pleasure than survival.

Most of us have accepted the fact that, for any, deprivation around food tends to lead to overeating.  What makes this study interesting is that it widens the playing field to include deprivation as general concepts.  Salerno's results indicate that if we feel deprived at all (not just around food), we may have a tendency to eat more.

Assuming this data translates beyond the lab, it suggests that to curb this form of (biologically induced?) emotional eating, we bring our focus to gratitude.  What is it that you have (vs. have not) in your life?  Can you highlight areas of abundance, rather than deprivation?  This shift in mindset can be profitable across the board.

And, where can you add indulgences that don't cost much?  Can you treat your senses with appealing scents, comfortable fabrics, enticing flavors, soothing visuals, and melodic sounds?  Doing so can ease distress, increase our experience of pleasure, and, perhaps most importantly, communicate to ourselves that we are worth it.

A Must Read

Well said, Ashley. . .

The Not-So-Hunger Games

Current film sensation Jennifer Lawrence recently told Life & Style magazine that she, for one, is not going hungry.

Lawrence says:  "'I remember when I was 13 and it was cool to pretend to have an eating disorder because there were rumors that Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie were anorexic.'"

Now, considered somewhat plump for Hollywood, Lawrence feels differently:  "'I'm just so sick of these young girls with diets.  I think it's really important for girls to have people to look up to and feel good about themselves.'"

And, in another declaration that may serve to benefit the general public, the Equinox chain of fitness facilities recently unveiled a new personal training campaign (see below).  While the focus is still on skinny/fat, it's good to know that a major company is moving toward recognizing that weight is not a proxy for health.  Now if they could just focus on fitness, rather than fat. . .

Israeli Model Law

Government officials in Israel have passed a new law banning the use of significantly underweight models in country-wide advertising.  The law, designed to challenge the glorification of the thin ideal, will also require advertisers who use airbrushing/editing to slim models down to acknowledge this in print.

Officials are hopeful that these measures will reduce the rates of anorexia in Israel.  What do you think?

Fitness, Faith, and Fun

Here's what I like about exercising:  Physical activity improves my mood; it makes me feel accomplished; it keeps my blood pressure low and my heart in good health; it makes me strong and, for instance, capable of carrying all the groceries in in one shot, it helps me burn off some restless energy before an entire workday spent seated in a chair; it gives me an opportunity to listen to my favorite tunes and participate in an individual dance party in my head; it allows me to work toward various goals; in a class setting, it helps me to feel the camaraderie of being part of something bigger; when accomplished outdoors, it provides me fresh air, beatific vistas at times, and an opportunity to connect with our earth; and it provides a portal through which I can practice mindfulness, following both movement and my breath.

Here's what I dislike about exercising:  fitness instructors who use weight/food intake to motivate their students.  In a few short months, I've heard several iterations of this.  In a spinning class, an instructor tried to inspire us by telling us that so-and-so celebrity burned x-many calories in her class.  I think it may have been the same instructor who encouraged us to push through a challenging portion near the end of the ride in order to "burn off" a recent holiday meal.  In a yoga class I took several weeks ago, the instructor suggested that a benefit of an inversion practice is reduced cellulite. This weekend, I tried another indoor cycling class at a trendy new studio.  Halfway through the class, the instructor yelled out, "Who wants to change your bodies?" As if dissatisfied  by the moderate, collective cheer, he repeated the question with more oomph to garner more of a response.  Now, if he meant "change," as in get stronger, faster, more flexible, etc., I may have seen his point, But, somehow, I'm not sure that that was where he was going, and it concerns me that the expectation is that, by the very fact that we're there, we're unhappy with ourselves.

The more we exercise to lose weight, burn calories/fat, or to change ourselves, the more likely we are to push ourselves beyond our limits (hour-long inversions, anyone?), turn exercise into punishment, and reduce the joy associated with the inherent act of moving our bodies.  It's no wonder that such a large percentage of people who start an exercise program drop out.  When we exercise to realize the physical and psychological gains associated with movement, to improve our fitness, empower us, and (gasp!) for fun, we can easily sign on for a lifelong commitment.  When we so enjoy dancing and hiking and climbing and swimming and cycling and strengthening and stretching, why would we ever stop?

New Model Guidelines

The Council of Fashion Designers of American has recently released new guidelines for models who work Fashion Week and other industry events.

As a whole, I applaud the group's focus to educate the industry and encourage healthy eating and treatment, if necessary.  Do you think these guidelines will help?  Do you see any limitations to the guidelines?  Take a minute to read the new guidelines and let me know what you think. . . .

Georgia. . .

A new campaign in Georgia targeted at childhood obesity has raised significant alarm  in the eating disorder community.  Specifically, many of us who treat eating disorders are concerned that the campaign focuses more on body size than on the promotion of healthy eating and exercise behaviors.  It is negative, shaming, and could actually encourage the development of eating disorders in those who may have such tendencies.

As such, the Binge Eating Disorder Association has developed an online petition, with the hopes of arresting the campaign.

What do you think?  Will you sign?

Losing the Battle

If, for some reason, you missed the fact that we recently celebrated a new year, you surely cannot miss the barrage of weight-loss advertising appearing in our media this week.  By now, you've probably viewed commercials from our nation's power players, each starring its own celeb:  Jennifer Hudson for Weight Watchers, Janet Jackson for Nutri-System, and Mariah Carey for Jenny Craig (can someone please help me identify exactly what Mariah is doing in this commercial?)  


Upping the ante in cyberspace is a new site that allows dieters to gamble on how much weight they lose.


What I know is that if I had $100 riding on my weight loss, I'd somehow make it happen. What might happen after, though, is likely what happens to most dieters after the fact, highlighted by a recent study among adolescents, which appeared in the Journal of Adolescent Health and which concludes in its abstract, “Findings clearly indicate that dieting and unhealthy weight control behaviors, as reported by adolescents, predict significant weight gain over time.”


If you begin a diet, chances are that you'll lose weight.  Chance are also that if you end the diet (which you may do after a pre-specified time or earlier, due to difficulty in adhering to the diet), you will gain the weight back.  In many cases, you will gain even more.  The statistics have spoken loud and clear, and not one product, plan, or gimmick has shown the ability to compete successfully with them.   

(Photo)shopping for the Holidays

By now, you've probably heard about H & M's recent advertising snafu, in which the Swedish retailers plugged real-life faces on computer-generated bodies.  The story was exposed earlier this month.

And what about the notorious Faith Hill photoshopping job on Redbook magazine?



Revealed several years back, the side-by-side comparison spoke volumes about what the industry will do to sell a star.

But, in all of this, we're reminded of what this re-imaging does for the every woman--setting an unrealistic, unattainable standard.  H & M models do not exist in reality.  Not even Faith Hill can look like Faith Hill. Let's continue to expose the myths that fuel the fire.  It's so important that we do.

Happy holidays. . .

Let's Say. . .

Scenario 1:  Let's say that there's this young woman who comes to therapy.  We'll call her Diana.  Diana doesn't have an eating disorder.  What brings her into treatment is panic attacks.  In the course of her anxiety, let's say Diana loses weight.  She's panicky, on edge, and she's not eating enough.  Let's say that Diana was "at a normal weight" (whatever that is) before and that when she loses weight, she looks unhealthy.  Let's also say she has a psychiatrist who's treating her for her anxiety.  Then, let's say that Diana's therapist expresses concerns about her weight loss and discusses with her how she can get adequate nutrition even with low appetite.  Remember, Diana doesn't have an eating disorder, so this isn't the most complicated thing.  Next, let's say that Diana starts to feel less anxious.  Some combination of medication and therapy is helping her, and her panic attacks remit.  Let's say, that in the process of this, she gains back the weight she had lost.  Let's say that Diana is again "at a normal weight" (whatever that is).  Finally, let's say that she visits her psychiatrist after some time, who mentions Diana's weight gain and states that 1) Diana needs to lose weight and 2) She needs to do so by their next visit.


Scenario 2:  Let's say that another woman who has been in therapy for many years for anxiety, depression, and a sub-clinical eating disorder, is seeing a relatively new psychiatrist.  We'll call her Sharon.  Sharon likes her new psychiatrist because she seems compassionate and responsive to her.  Like many psychiatrists she's had in the past, Sharon's current psychiatrist is eager to try out new medications and doses of medications with her, in order to alleviate her symptoms.  During one appointment, Sharon, who is "at a normal weight" (whatever that is), expresses concern about her psychiatrist's recent recommendation that she up the dosage of her medication in order to address her residual anxiety.  "Doesn't that cause weight gain?," she asks.  Sharon is concerned because she has a history of binge eating, and she doesn't want to be on anything that exacerbates this condition.  "It could," her psychiatrist replies, "But that's when you just need to focus on portion control."  To Sharon, who again has a history of binge eating, hearing the phrase "portion control" creates such anxiety in her that she actually wants to binge.  She's had many attempts at trying to restrict what she eats (in fact, that's what led to her binge eating, according to her understanding of it all), and this does not seem to be an adequate solution.  

Do you have any reactions to these scenarios?  They can and do occur, highlighting the importance of consulting with professionals who have specific education and training in the field of eating disorders.  A simple, innocuous comment as processed by someone with an eating disorder can do significant, unintended damage.  Ideally, those struggling with eating disorders can arrive at a place in their recovery where a single comment isn't so threatening (as they may come from various sources), but until and unless this happens, it's important to select a treatment team sensitive to these concerns.

Celebrities with E.D.'s

A while back, a reporter asked me my position regarding celebrities disclosing that they have struggled with eating disorders.  She asked if I thought the disclosure was helpful or hurtful for the general public.  I went with "helpful," and here's why:  Obviously, I wish that no one had to suffer the physical and psychological damage of an eating disorder.  But, since people do develop them, and since we're still learning how to best treat them, pay for treating them, etc., I think any type of public awareness is beneficial.  For fans who struggle with eating disorders, learning of someone else's struggle may help with feelings of shame or isolation around the disorder.  Moreover, I think it's important for the public to understand that a number of the singers, actresses, and models they admire are not as naturally thin as they appear.  In many cases, they must go to drastic measures, in order to conform to our current body ideal (see Adriana Lima's recent revelation to the Telegraph for proof).  For some, these measures may lead to the development of full-blown eating disorders.  In my opinion, the more information we have that counteracts the idea that skinny (for all women) is healthy and effortless, the better.

What are your thoughts?

Come Back to Carbs

Can one woman hail the return of entire macronutrient?  I'd like to try.

We live in a carb-free, low-carb, healthy-carb country.  We're encouraged by experts to up our protein intake and lower our carbohydrates, with the premise that this is the key to arriving at a healthy (read: aesthetic) weight.  

Recently, I went to a dinner party and brought a lovely quinoa.  It went untouched.  Because of the carbs.

Later that week, I stopped at my gym's snack bar to pick up a sports drink prior to yoga class.  Amidst a sea of no-carb, high-protein drinks (many infused with artificial sweeteners in order to claim the title), I finally stumbled on some fruit juice that fit the bill.  

I get it.  We realized that we'd weigh a little less if we cut back on carbs.  But, what we didn't realize is that we'd be eliminating a major energy source, one that fuels our muscles, organs, and brains.  Carbohydrates have a significant impact on mood, as well.  Just ask someone who's going carb-free.  

Your trainer tells you to cut out bread.  Your gossip magazine shows you a day in the life of your favorite celebrity, proving that lean protein and vegetables for lunch and dinner is not only doable, but leads to the intended results.  Your coworker went low-carb and quickly dropped 15 pounds.  

The thing is. . . not one nutritionist I respect has ever recommended this type of diet to anyone I know.  They understand the importance of all three macronutrients.  They understand what cutting carbs does to one's energy and mood.  And then understand, as I do, that the weight-loss benefits of going low-carb are temporary (only for as long as you're on the diet), and that depriving ourselves of something (anything, really) often backfires, obfuscating the point entirely.  

I wish that I had a dollar for every person I meet who complains of an inability to ward off mid-afternoon candy runs, or who shamefully confesses to late-night binges on chips, cookies, or cake, who, by the way, is also restricting her carbs.  When she begins to reintroduce this necessary nutrient, she finds that her carbohydrate cravings remit.  It's her body's way of saying, "Thanks for giving me what I need."

America the Beautiful 2

Have you seen it?  I went to the Hollywood premiere a couple of weeks ago, and Darryl Roberts, the filmmaker, was there, along with several members of the cast, and all were available for a Q & A!

It isn't ground-breaking, but it does bring more, much-needed attention to eating disorders and our national focus on obesity.

And, speaking of fighting stigmas against weight and shape, try this one on for size:

The editor writes:

"I'm seeking personal essay submissions from women who have made strides in overcoming societal stigma around body size/weight and who now love/feel positive about their curvy/chubby/fat bodies. The submission deadline is quickly approaching. . . . I am offering contributors of accepted submissions $50."  


Because if you're going to fight this stigma, you may as well earn some cash in the process!

The Weeks Keep on Coming!

Did you know that this week is Fat Talk Free Week?  Check it out here!

Can you commit, for the remaining few days, not to utter a word about your body or anyone else's?  I know, I know, there may still be that silly negativity squatting in your head.  But, at least for conversational purposes, can we spend the rest of the week avoiding comments about weight, shape, or size?  Can we, if approached by others to join in such dialogue, respond like Jessica Weiner does?  ("I'm sorry, I don't speak that language.") And can we, freed up from useless chatter, use our time and energy to connect with others in a more meaningful and authentic way?

Try it out.
Take the pledge.
Then tell me, what will you talk about instead?

Health At Every Size

Did you know that last week was the Binge Eating Disorder Association's First Annual Weight Stigma Awareness Week?  Either did I, which is why I'm posting about it now.  This gives us plenty of time to prep for next year!

In light of this, I'd like to share Dr. Deb Burgard's recent piece on Health Speech.  Burgard is a key player in the Health At Every Size and Association for Size Diversity and Health movements.  

It never ceases to amaze me how medical doctors will often tell heavy people to lose weight, even when the patient shows no objective signs of disease.  At the same time, the significantly underweight, eating-disordered patient will often fly under the radar, reporting that she's never discussed her eating disorders with her primary care provider who has, in turn, never asked about her about her low weight.  

I hope that by promoting these movements we can move toward a place of greater size acceptance and can refocus agendas and efforts on health, rather than weight.

Sweet Honey in the Rock

Don't you just love it when you come across something so wonderful?

Body Image and the Media

I'm often asked to provide quotes and commentary to the media about eating disorders and body image.  Sometimes, I'm told where the interview will appear, and other times, (no laughing!), I find my words by periodically googling myself.  Recently, I answered a reporter's questions via email.  I'm not sure if my words will appear in print, but I thought they might be of interest here, and I'd love your feedback on what I said. . .  .

1) Where does our unrealistic body image come from?  Is it different for men vs. women?

Our ideas about the ideal body are contextual, linked to time and place.  The media portrays certain images that are judged to be ideal given the context, which reinforces the ideal.  I think it used to be that women seemed to have a more unattainable body ideal, while men were allowed to "get by" w/other attributes, but the tide seems to be turning, and the standards for men are becoming increasingly difficult to reach (see the new male mannequins w/27-inch waists!)

2) Why is comparison (with celebrities or people around us) so counterproductive?

Only a certain, small percentage of people have the genetics consistent with the current media ideal.  That means that the rest of us, to varying degrees of success, and with varying degrees of negative physiological and psychological consequences, will be forever chasing the thin ideal.  We're just not all mean to be or look the same.  In just the same way that many of us are forced to accept our height or shoe size, it would be wonderful if we could do this with weight, exercising in a healthy way and eating a balanced diet, but not doing these things to contort our bodies to unrealistic proportions.

3) How can you figure out what your own "ideal" body is?

I usually say that your natural weight is how much you would weigh if, over time, you ate in a balanced way (eating nutritious foods AND responding to food cravings), were eating primarily out of physical, rather than emotional hunger, ate when you were hungry and stopped when you were full, exercised regularly, but not compulsively, and refrained from food restriction, bingeing, purging, use of diet pills, enemas, laxatives, or other compensatory strategies. 

4) Any tips for correcting negative thinking when it comes to body image?

I think it's important to challenge the thoughts that suggest that body shape/size (or even appearance in general) determines happiness.  I've worked with plenty of heavy, happy women, as well as plenty of women who are skinny and unhappy.  We're conditioned by the media to place way too much emphasis on body image in terms of where we think it will get us in life. 

5) Are body image issues on the rise in the US? if so, why?

I think we're seeing more issues among men, plus we continue to see eating disorder rates increasing, especially among younger and younger children.  Media access is so available and immediate these days, and the images come to us through various forms.  We now have people comparing themselves to their "friends" on Facebook.  I've spoken with a number of women who avoid social events because they know that the pictures taken there will be posted on social media sites, which will stir up their body dissatisfaction.

6) How can our readers be more accepting of their bodies?

One of the best things I think people can do is learn about how the media distorts images to promote the ideal. The more we learn about cropping, airbrushing, etc., the more we realize that even the celebrities don't look like themselves.  Also, see attached (article I wrote on radical body acceptance) for more recommendations. 

Fall, 2011

Check out this magnet I found in the UCLA bookstore:

At first, I loved it, but then, as I walked away, I began to think: "No, wait, Barbie should be happy being Barbie!"

We psychologists over-think everything.

Have I mentioned I moved to Los Angeles?  That's what I did during my summer vacation.  How about you?

As I return to blogging this fall, I'm interested in what you'd like to see me write about.  Any requests for topics?

There's a lot brewing in the Does Every Women Have an Eating Disorder? world. . . .  I already have talks lined up for September and March, and now, being in Los Angeles, where eating disorder treatment centers seem to be everywhere, I have a number of meetings scheduled with other professionals.  I've hung my shingle in Southern California and am seeing new patients here.  I continue to scour the internet, magazines, and television ads for cultural illustrations of my premise.  Just the other day, I saw a commercial (I believe it was for Home Goods), in which a woman returns from her lunch break, bragging to her colleague that her meal was both affordable and calorie-free.  As it turns out, she visited a Home Goods store and made a home purchase there, skipping lunch entirely.

Please help me in fighting this fight. . . .

Bringing Summer Back

On this weekend, the unofficial start to summer, I'm aware that we've lost the meaning of the season.

Summer is not supposed to be about hating your body.

It's about coconut lotion, popsicle tongues, and cartwheels in the sand.  Summer camp, porch swings, and shvitzing in the shade. Slip-and-slides, fireworks, and forever dusk.

And yes, it's about food. . .  hot dogs, ice cream, and corn. . .  picnics and barbecues, blueberries, and tea (iced tea, that is).

As a child, no one had to tell you how to prepare for swimsuit season.  The same holds true now.  Getting "bikini-ready" is as simple as: 1) taking off your clothes and 2) putting on your bikini.

So, join me these next few months in bringing summer back.  Let's keep in mind the wonderful culture of summer, where the size or shape of your belly, upper arms, thighs, hips, and butts have nothing to do with barreling into the surf,  hurling watermelon seeds, or catching fireflies in a jar.

Goodbye, Mia

I'm deeply saddened by the loss of Mia Amber Davis, plus-sized modeling pioneer (Mia's site).  It's difficult to conceptualize a loss at such a young age.  Even more so when you've met her.

I met Mia a couple of years back, when we served on a television panel together.  I was immediately impressed by her presence, a confident, intelligent, beautiful young woman, who spoke so articulately about the relationship between culture, self-esteem, and weight.

It's sad to think that the (plus-sized) modeling industry has lost such a bright, young star.

Glee?

In the latest issue of Self Magazine, Gwyneth Paltrow "shares her secrets for eating healthy and having a body to envy."  Paltrow, promoting her new book, My Father's Daughter:  Delicious, Easy Recipes Celebrating Family & Togetherness, discusses the evolution of her relationship with food, from developing an interest in cooking with her father; to adhering to an organic, local, macrobiotic diet (eliminating dairy, sugar, meat, liquor, and gluten); to fulfilling pregnancy cravings; and finally to preparing delicious offerings for those she loves.  Sounds good, right?

But then, in a sidebar titled, "How She Got That Body," Paltrow is interviewed regarding her exercise regime.  The super-slim Paltrow, who admits to being in the best shape of her life, fesses up to 90 minutes of exercise five days a week.  She goes on to say, "If I'm prepping for something or I've been eating a lot of pie, I do two hours a day, six days a week for two weeks."

Last I checked, this constitutes excessive exercise.  I get that stars like Paltrow have to look the part, and I understand that logging hours with celebrity trainers and chefs helps them fit the bill.  However, exercising more to compensate for one's eating (and by more, I mean hours more a week!) gets a little fuzzy, don't you think?

Self advertises the story to explain how Paltrow arrived "at her happy relationship with food."  Paltrow seems to enjoy cooking and eating, even her no-fry fries, recipe included, her raw almonds, and homemade kale and lemon juice.  But, it's the relationship she's forged between food and exercise that seems not-so-happy to me.  Paltrow states, "I say I always eat right, but last night, I had fried clams, pasta with duck sausage and two glasses of red wine.  When I want to lose, I eat less pasta, bread and potatoes. Before last year's Iron Man 2 premiere, I did green juices and salads for three days."

So that's how celebrities achieve the red-carpet look!

When asked about her motivation for working out, Paltrow responds, "I like feeling strong and healthy, but mostly I think about the fried zucchini I'll eat later."

My concern is that millions of readers may believe that exercise-as-compensation is the way to go.  Many women will come to me in frustration that they can't maintain a celebrity diet (think the magazine sidebars we often see, detailing the egg-white breakfast, salad-with-grilled-chicken lunch, and fish-and-veggie dinner that many celebs will tout).

What I try to remind people is that most of us do not live celebrity lifestyles, have celebrity staff, or know what goes on behind closed doors.  Just like non-celebs, stars will often go to extreme, unhealthy measures to maintain their weight.  I'm not trying to condemn Paltrow's food or exercise choices.  It's just important for us to recognize that Gwyneth isn't gospel, that a celebrity's relationship with food or her body is not always attainable or ideal.

So Sad

Did you hear about this?

Eating Disorder Study

I'd love to have a dollar for all the people who, after learning that I work with eating disorders, say something to the effect of, "I wish I had an eating disorder."  Then, there are those who think recovery is simple--just eat, or just limit what you eat--when it's not.  Eating disorders are not simply choices.  New research (see the abstract below) actually provides evidence for such interpretations of eating disorders and recovery.

A Comparison of Stigma Toward Eating Disorders Versus Depression. Objective: The goal of this study was to compare the degree of stigma associated with anorexia nervosa (AN), bulimia nervosa (BN), and depression. Method: Participants read one of three vignettes describing clinical cases of AN, BN, or depression, and answered questions assessing stigma toward individuals with one of these three mental disorders. Results: Attitudes toward individuals with eating disorders were significantly more stigmatizing than attitudes toward individuals with depression. Individuals with an eating disorder were rated as more fragile, more responsible for their disorder, and more likely to use their disorder to gain attention than individuals with depression. Furthermore, the majority of participants reported that they admired certain aspects of eating disorders, thought that there might be some benefits to having an eating disorder, and that others would be motivated to imitate eating disorder behavior. Discussion: Stigma toward individuals with eating disorders is greater than stigma toward depression and includes unique features such as attitudes of envy. Implications of these results for the understanding of mental disorder stigma and eating disorders are discussed. Source: Int J Eat Disord. 2010 Nov 1;43(7):671-4.

A Meditation on Forgiveness

Can you forgive yourself for being imperfect? 

For making mistakes each day, for not getting it right. . .

For failing to meet your your expectations each and every time. . .

For just getting by when you wanted to excel. . .

For walking when you wanted to run. . .

For eating more than you'd like, for weighing more than you'd 

like. . .

For engaging in unhealthy measures to control how you look. . .

Can you take this moment to forgive yourself?

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in, forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day, you shall begin it well and serenely."  Ralph Waldo Emerson

Weight

I recently came across this post by blogger, Jen Selk, and thought you might enjoy. . . .

January Happenings

Happy New Year!

Resolved:
To start the year off on a positive note, how about some resolutions that don't involve disliking yourself?  Rather than focusing on losing weight, why not resolve to improve your relationship with food, and while you're at it, your relationship with your body?  This will help you NOW and will last way beyond the crash-diet/gym-heavy January norm.

Action Plan:
For those in/around NYC, I will be starting a six-week Eat in Peace. group on January 19th, 2011.  Co-led with a registered dietitian, the group will focus on developing a healthier relationship with food.  To sign up, or for more information, email me by January 14th at drstaceyny@gmail.com.

For those in the Northeast (or those from farther locales, looking for a winter escape), register for the Lose the Diet. Love Your Body. Eat in Peace. weekend-long workshop I will be leading January 21st-23rd at Kripalu Yoga Center.  For around the cost of one therapy session, you get a whole weekend with me!  What could be better than two full days of yoga, programming around mindful eating, connecting with like-minded individuals, all in the beautiful Berkshire mountains?   Registration will close tomorrow, January 7th, so sign up now!

Kudos to Intimacy

Check out the Manhattan lingerie store, Intimacy!  I wandered by the store one day and was struck by the fact that the window display showcases two mannequins of different sizes. Imagine that:  various-sized mannequins modeling various-sized clothing for various-sized of women.

More on Moore

I recently came across this update on singer-actress, Mandy Moore.  I'm happy whenever stars speak out about having (or coming to) a healthy relationship with food (especially if it's true!), so I was excited to read this news.

And then it struck me:  The fact that Mandy Moore allows herself to eat a hamburger now and then is news.  I haven't heard much about her work these days, and until this article, I didn't even know she wed.  Yet, the people over at People believe that the most compelling feature about Moore is what she puts between her lips.

Are they right?

Oh, My. . .

Taking the Skinny Ideal to a Whole New Level

What's Your Purpose?

I've been thinking a lot recently about the relationship between spirituality and eating disorders.  Namely, can a sense of spirituality be a ("a", not "the") curative force in recovery?

I'm not talking about religion per se, but more a sense of what your purpose is here on Earth.  For some, it's to be a good person, live a good life.  Others may believe they need to learn a valuable lesson.  Those who are less spiritually inclined may think that they're here simply to continue the species.  For many with eating disorders, life becomes so constricted (restricted) that the purpose becomes eating less, weighing less. . .and a sense of greater purpose is ignored.

I keep circling back to the idea that if you are to get in touch with a greater purpose, that can help with recovery.  I'll often say to someone that I'm not sure what her purpose here is, but I just know it can't be to restrict, maintain a certain weight, or hate her body.  That's can't be the point of life, and I'm sure of it.  Nearing death, it just can't be that you look back over your life and evaluate your stay based on weight.

Can getting in touch with your greater purpose, or at least being open to the idea that it has to be more than this, help you?

You're Invited!

Welcome back, DEWHAED readers!  I'm up to some exciting new things. . . including planning a weekend-long seminar to address what we talk about here.  Save the date for:

Lose the diet.
Love your body.
Eat in peace.

When:  The weekend of January 21st
Where:  The beautiful Berkshires
Why:     Finally addressing your eating/body issues; an opportunity to connect with like-minded folk; a year's worth of therapy in 48 hours; a chance for me to meet and eat with you all!

Hope you all are enjoying your season. . .  crisp apples and hot drinks. . .  cozying up again in sweaters or flannels or Snuggies and for a moment, maybe just a moment, honoring and enjoying the body that is yours. . . .

Independence

On this, the last post before my summer break, I'm reflecting on women's freedom. It's amazing how far we've come, what with women competing for some of the highest posts in the land; in many industries, earning close, but not equal to, men's salaries; balancing work and motherhood and social engagements; traversing grounds we never thought the xx could ever go.

So, that said, why is it that every once in a while, I fantasize about wearing a burqa to work?

This piece of clothing that represents, through my Westernized lens, the epitome of women's imprisonment seems the perfect choice on days I want to be comfortable, relaxed, and to hide my body from the world. 

I went to an eating disorders/body image lecture a couple of weeks ago and the presenters noted that with each advancement in the women's movement, there has been an consequent increase in eating disorders.  They also reported that today, Asian teenagers, at 16, are being gifted eye surgery by their parents so that their eyelids look more like their Caucasian friends'.  Is this what we have to show for centuries of cultural and political advancement?  How is it that the more we plow ahead, the more we dislike ourselves?

And so, for women in America, as you celebrate Memorial Day, Independence Day, Labor Day, take a moment to wonder:  Are you really free?

Look Alive, Men!

New York Magazine recently revealed that British company, Rootstein, which makes mannequins, is set to launch "Homme Nouveau," a new men's mannequin sporting a 27-inch-waist.  The more slenderized version of the 1994 model is suggested to reflect, and likely worsen, a more unrealistic male body standard. 

Do you see men as devloping a more negative body image over time?  Are they, in a game with no clear winner, catching up?

Baby Food

In a recent People magazine article, actress Ellen Pompeo speaks about feeding her seven-month-old daughter, Stella. Pompeo focuses on feeding her daughter natural, organic foods and teaching her about healthy eating.
Pompeo's goal is to introduce only healthy foods (read: no Cheerios) to her daughter--just as Pompeo was fed as a child--as that resulted in her never knowing (or therefore, wanting) "junk food."

While many of those with eating disorders will tell you that a no-junk-food policy results in junk-food rebellion later on, what I found most interesting about this article was not so much the original story, but the eighty-something (at this writing) comments that readers submitted. As always, food/eating are emotional/political topics that often result in polarization. What do YOU think?

The Price of Beauty

Has anyone watched Jessica Simpson's, The Price of Beauty? I found the episode filmed in Uganda particularly enlightening. In the village Simpson visits, fat is beautiful, and women are fattened up before their weddings. Of interest is not just the cultural acceptance/value of fat, but how hard women have to work to gain weight before they wed, the polar opposite of Western dieting culture. Check out clips from the episode here. Reactions?

Body Education

I was sitting on the roof of my building with a friend, when a nine-year-old girl came up with her sitter. Her sitter wandered around and the girl approached us and began gabbing away in the hallmark style of a precocious nine-year-old girl. I forget how we arrived here, but the next thing you know, we're talking about pubic hair.

"I saw my mom naked once and she had hair down there!" she said in surprise.

"When you get older, you'll have hair down there, too," I replied.

"Ooh, that's gross. I have a little hair there now."

"It's just what happens to girls as they get older."

While I'm not sure this was the best way to handle the topic (and if the girl's mother would have even wanted me to respond), it made me consider how mothers are with their bodies and what tacit messages they send their daughters.

Truth be told, it surprised me that this girl had only seen her mother naked once. It made me think that her mother may be ashamed of her body, and that she was communicating to her daughter that a woman's body was something to be covered, not celebrated. Sure, we don't want our daughters parading naked around the block, but there's something to be said for them knowing and therefore fully accepting the female form. I can't help but wonder that if girls, from early on, witness their mothers' unabashed bodies (pubic hair and cellulite and bra-less breasts and all), they'll have fewer problems with body image later on.

Your Choice?

Are eating disorders choices? Do you choose to develop an eating disorder, or to continue to engage in your symptoms, or are eating disorders strictly diseases, without any decision involved?

I think most of us would agree that by the time someone is knee deep in her eating disorder, there isn't much choice involved. And yes, there are factors such as genetic influences, familial circumstances, and comorbidity with other psychological disorders (e.g., depression, anxiety, substance abuse), all of which make eating disorders appear to be a fait accompli.

Eating disorders are diseases, right? Why would anyone choose to develop a disease? No one is questioning someone's depression or schizophrenia, and certainly not her Parkinson's or cancer.

But, for many who suffer from eating disorders, there's a moment, early on, when we make a choice--a choice to restrict, to binge, to purge, because in the moment, these behaviors seem to be the best option available to us.

Maybe it's just semantics, as this choice is made without informed consent, without recognition of what will follow. For others, even if there is an understanding of consequences, we might make the same choice, anyway, not really thinking the consequences will apply to us. Does a choice count if you don't even know you're making a choice?

When recovery is on the table, and we continue to engage in symptoms, is this a choice, or are our eating disorders speaking for us? Do you choose to hold on to an eating disorder, or does the disorder hold on to you?

Another Look at Body Image

Friends?

Ryerson university in Toronto conducted a study on the effects of television characters on body image.  Specifically, the study found that watching just a 10-minute clip of Friends (specifically Jennifer Aniston and Courteney) cox caused women to feel bad about their bodies.  The study's author is quoted as saying, "People have the tendency to make rapid comparisons of themselves to images on television programs even when they don't think they are being affected."

Are there any current shows or stars that you think women with body image concerns should avoid?  Have you noticed yourself having negative body thoughts (in e.d. language, being "triggered") by any of these shows or characters?  Is there a pull to watch them despite their emotional impact?

For Those in NYC. . .

Bake-In Rally

Good Vs. Bad

I'm becoming increasing annoyed by descriptions of food as "good" or "bad."  When someone says, "I was good," I often ask what that means, because my definition of good is not necessarily yours.  For some women who struggle with eating disorders, restriction is good.  Not for me. 

Healthy.  Unhealthy.  What do they mean?  As soon as there's a good, there's a bad, and that sets us up for the moralization of food.  While I'm not suggesting everyone eat fried food at every meal, food choices should reflect the variety of our cravings. 

There is no good or bad, just food.  Dichotomizing nutrition can lead to disordered eating.  In fact, one food choice has no value over another.  All foods are equal.  How about that?  Let's end our food discrimination, because as everyone knows, choosing one group over another (with the exception of skinny over fat) is so 20th century. 

Does Every Calorie Count?

Interesting article in The New York Times. . .

Do Something!

Petitions, Conferences, and More!

Check out the National Eating Disorder Information Centre's (Canada) new campaign.  You can sign a petition on their site that directly targets the fashion industry, encouraging repsonsible selection (and retouching) of models in the advertising world. 

Also, as I mentioned earlier, I will be speaking at a conference later this month in NYC dedicated to friends/family members of those struggling with eating disorders.  Please pass on the Journey to Hope conference information to your family and friends--presentations will help them cope with your eating disorder and hopefully improve your relationships in the process.  See here for more information.

If you'd like to get involved with Reaching Out Against Eating  Disorders (one of the organizations responsible for hosting the conference), see their website for how to volunteer.

Begin your revolution now!

Media Inquiry

Like Mother/Like Daughter? Help a reporter with a story on the mother daughter eating/body image connection. . .


A reporter is doing a story for Glamour Magazine on the connection between mothers and daughters when it comes to issues around eating and body image. She is interested in the kind of habits and attitudes that seem to plague many women -bingeing, consta-dieting, emotional eating, obsessive exercising, body-loathing, not strictly clinical eating disorders. If you are in your 20s or 30s, deal with these issues and SO DOES YOUR MOM, she'd love to speak to you. If you'd be willing to talk--on record or off--email Diana Kapp, at dekapp@mac.com.

All About Weight

It seems the most important thing about celebrities these days is their weight.  Kevin Smith was kicked off a Southwest flight for being "too fat."  "You [messed] with the wrong sedentary processed-foods eater!" he tweeted. 

The 5'6", 105-pound American ice dancer Tanith Belbin, who admitted to restricting her intake, was given an ultimatum by her coach to gain 10 pounds.  Still underweight, Belbin reported she's skating more strongly.  You know it's serious when your ice skating coach is forcing you to eat.

Mad Men star Christina Hendricks vented to New York magazine:  "Anytime someone talks about your figure constantly, you get nervous, you get really self-conscious.  I was working my butt off on the show, and then all anyone was talking about was my body."

Jessica Simpson, who, if you remember, soared to fame with her voice, came crashing down with her weight.  In a recent issue of Allure, Simpson referred to America's weight-obsession as "disgusting."

These are just a few examples I've seen in the media in the last few weeks.  Can you remember a time when we haven't had such a focus on everyone's weight?  How do we get back to that place?