Body Commodity

When did your body become anything other than a carrier for you?

When did your body become something to. . .

-think about

-judge

-criticize

-dissect

-change

-punish

-abuse

When did your body become some thing?

You can find Does Every Woman Have an Eating Disorder? Challenging Our Nation's Fixation with Food and Weight on Amazon (as a paperback and Kindle) and at BarnesandNoble.com. 

A Critical Analysis of "All About the Bass"

You might be wondering how Meghan Trainor's "All About the Bass" fares on the body image front. Let's take a critical look. 

Trainor's catchy, end-of-summer anthem promotes body acceptance in a number of ways. Early on, she sings: "Yeah it's pretty clear, I ain't no size two/But I can shake it, shake it like I'm supposed to do." While she might not embody America's thin ideal, Trainor still moves and appreciates her body. She reiterates this point, noting that "You know I won't be no stick-figure, silicone Barbie doll,/So, if that's what's you're into/Then go ahead and move along." Here, Trainor defies the internalization of unrealistic, reductive beauty standards and instead rejects those who demand her compliance with such rigid norms.

Trainor goes on to decry the widespread practice of photo retouching, stating: "I see the magazines working that Photoshop/We know that sh*t ain't real/Come on now, make it stop."

Finally, Trainor riffs, "Every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top," encouraging women to accept and respect their bodies in their entireties. 

Despite these self-esteem boosts, Trainor falters some in the body-acceptance quest. When she croons, "'Cause I got that boom boom that all the boys chase," she objectifies her body, its value determined by the strength of the male gaze it invites. The singer likely learned this message from her mother, who taught her that appeal (read: worth) can be measured vis-a-vis her shape: "Yeah, my momma she told me don't worry about your size/She says, boys they like a little more booty to hold at night." That we exchange shape for size as commodities in our relational transactions doesn't make them any less materialized.

Trainor notes she has "All the right junk in all the right places." One may ask, what are "all the right places"? Yet, because of our culture's widely-accepted beauty standards, we'd likely see a lot of agreement here. The designation of "right" versus "wrong" places for "junk" (arguably pejorative, even though it's the "right" junk) creates an unrealistic expectation for many women. It may be okay to shirk the thin ideal, but you'd better do so in a legitimate way.

Lastly, when Trainor sings, "I'm bringing booty back/Go ahead and tell them skinny bitches," she unnecessarily snubs thin women and creates an "us" versus "them" mentality, a dichotomy that won't go far in promoting wide-reaching body positivity.

So, yes, while championing a curvier frame, unedited photos, and body acceptance, Trainor also promotes a woman's body as object, glorifies a certain body type/shape, and marginalizes skinny women, discouraging body acceptance across the spectrum. The tune is more weight- and size-inclusive than other mainstream representations of women, and the video refreshingly includes men and women of color, but the message advocates for a certain shape, unnecessarily sidelining women whose bodies don't conform. 

You can find Does Every Woman Have an Eating Disorder? Challenging Our Nation's Fixation with Food and Weight on Amazon (as a paperback and Kindle) and at BarnesandNoble.com.

Stop Demonizing Food

I have to tell you, I'm a little sick of the sugar thing. And the carb thing, the wheat thing, the soda thing, the salt thing, and whatever thing we might be hearing about tomorrow.

Now, I'm not recommending mass amounts of any of these foods, as they're often consumed in the American diet. A daily Super Big Gulp likely won't do any body good. But to demonize any food item unnecessarily polarizes foods into healthy vs. unhealthy or good vs. bad, which sets the stage for all kinds of disordered eating.

And here's the thing: no food makes you fat. Not a baguette, a bowl of noodles, a cupcake or macaron. Overeating these foods may predict weight gain over time - eating more than our bodies need can do this - but part of the reason we're overeating is that we're so consumed by diet culture that we're hybridizing feast and famine. 

"I can't have bread. I can't have bread. I can't have bread." And then, because bread is actually available, "Oops, I had too much bread."

The more we learn about weight, the more we understand the genetic influences on this variable. What you weigh is largely a function of your genes and their products, particularly hormones that control appetite and satiation.

When we cut out certain foods to lose weight, there is often a backfiring effect, in which we end up overeating these foods due to the experience of physical and psychological deprivation. Developing a healthy relationship with food involves being able to interact with all kinds of food in a healthy way. It means moving past feared foods and and food rules.

I recently came across an eating disorder treatment program that advertises that it's food plan requires patients to "abstain from 'junk food,'" "eliminate highly processed foods," and "weigh and measure portions" while in treatment.

In my opinion, barring certain foods and requiring the weighing/measuring of foods is contraindicated with eating disorder recovery. In treatment, patients should be exposed to a variety of foods and should not be allowed to engage in food calculations and calibrations - these behaviors are symptomatic of the disorder itself and the goal of treatment is to extinguish them.

Referring to less nutritious food as "junk food" reinforces the eating-disorder mentality and eliminating certain foods in treatment doesn't teach patients how to interact with these foods, a required skill in the real world.

Food isn't the problem. It's our relationship to it that becomes distorted and dysfunctional. The more we demonize food, the more we prevent ourselves from cultivating a healthy relationship.

You can find Does Every Woman Have an Eating Disorder? Challenging Our Nation's Fixation with Food and Weight on Amazon (as a paperback and Kindle) and at BarnesandNoble.com.

The Shame in Advertising

By now, you've probably heard of Gap's Twitter fiasco, in which the clothing retailer landed itself in an uncommon, too-skinny debate after tweeting this photo last week:

The internet erupted with comments like “Seriously, @Gap? In what world do people look like this?” The model was referred to as "a pencil in plaid," and some claimed she needed to eat a cheeseburger.

Body image defenders swooped in to defend Gap's choice and accused online commenters of skinny-shaming the plaid-clad model. Many cited skinny-shaming as just as painful and dangerous as shaming those on the other side of the weight spectrum. 

And it's true, these comments are hurtful and misinformed. I'd love to live in a world where we refrained from judging and criticizing each other's bodies - period. 

But, this has nothing to do with this particular model's body. All she did was put in a day at the office. Oddly, I read five articles on this subject, and I couldn't even locate the model's name. It just reinforces the idea that no one's really interested in her.

What we need to do is step back and look at the larger context. If clothing companies routinely featured models of varying weights, the Gap ad would likely have fallen through the cracks - the model's body understood as yet another iteration of body assortment, rather than an exemplar of female beauty. Most clothing companies, however, widely promote our culture's thin ideal. The National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders reports that says only five percent of American females are naturally shaped like the models we see in advertising (arguably an even smaller percentage when compared to the ultra-thin Gap model), and yet advertising sells us this ideal - at all costs.

We need to see more body diversity in the media and in advertising. We need to understand that certain images, when insufficiently balanced by others, can dangerously normalize eating disorders. And we need to recognize that the Gap controversy isn't about the skinny-shaming of a too-thin, nameless model but about an industry that perniciously thrives on selling an unrealistic, unattainable ideal. Here's where the shame lies.

You can find Does Every Woman Have an Eating Disorder? Challenging Our Nation's Fixation with Food and Weight on Amazon (as a paperback and Kindle) and at BarnesandNoble.com.

Defining Plus-Size

Plus-size model Robyn Lawley made waves on the internet a couple of weeks ago by posting an unedited, bikini-clad photo of herself on Instagram:

The controversy? That Lawley is defined as plus-size.

Many were outraged that the tall, thin model could ever be considered too curvy or heavy for "normal-size" modeling. But the lanky (6'2"!), Size 12 beauty is certainly plus-size when you consider that the average American model wears a Size 0 and that Size 6 is often considered plus-size.

So, yes, Lawley is thin and yes, she's plus-size. In an industry where skinny is lauded at all costs, where models' "flaws" are airbrushed into oblivion, and where Size 000 now exists, Lawley, though thinner than the average American woman, is simply too big for mainstream modeling.

You can find Does Every Woman Have an Eating Disorder? Challenging Our Nation's Fixation with Food and Weight on Amazon (as a paperback and Kindle) and at BarnesandNoble.com.

Changing the Conversation

In a recent Nutrisystem commercial, Marie Osmond asserts: "As women, we always talk about how we should look or what’s the best way to lose weight."

Is this the conversation all of us are having? Are we all conspiring around this goal? And if so, what we can do to challenge it?

The truth is, it's spot on for many of us. Some women are engaged in evolving dialogues that have nothing to do with weight or shape. But it's sometimes challenging to get women from the first group to the second.

In a recent interview, a reporter asked me for tips on what else women can talk about if we're to ditch fat and diet talk. My tip is, there are no tips - because the answer is infinite - if we remove fat/diet talk from our language, we get to talk about everything else.

Women have so much more to talk about than food and weight. We have jobs and families and hopes and ideas, feelings and interests and beliefs. If we remove fat and weight talk from our dialogues, we're freed up to talk about anything else - everything else - to explore and create and connect in a deeper way, and ultimately, to be more of our authentic selves.

And shouldn't this be the goal?

You can find Does Every Woman Have an Eating Disorder? Challenging Our Nation's Fixation with Food and Weight on Amazon (as a paperback and Kindle) and at BarnesandNoble.com.

Unconditional Body Acceptance

One thing that's struck me recently in the body image world is a sort of conditional body acceptance in the first-person narratives I've read - let me explain. . . .

I accept my body after baby - the weight and stretch marks and scars and marks - because I created and hosted the miracle of life.

I accept my wrinkles and sags as I age, as they tell the story of my long and winding journey.

While these stories are often poignant and certainly move our dialogue along, a tacit message is, I'm okay with my imperfections, but only because I've carried a baby or arrived at a certain age. 

But here's the thing: You don't need to have a baby or be of a certain age or accomplish or endure anything else to explain away a feature on your frame. Belly fat is okay with or without child and lines and wrinkles can pop up at any age. In the words of Sonya Renee Taylor, "The body is not an apology." Make no bones about it.

The rimples and dips and creases and puckers, the swelling, distention, flab and fat that your body naturally houses - you don't need an excuse.

Your body is okay.

You can find Does Every Woman Have an Eating Disorder? Challenging Our Nation's Fixation with Food and Weight on Amazon (as a paperback and Kindle) and at BarnesandNoble.com. 

10 Things I Wish the Public Knew About Eating Disorders

Dr. Ed Tyson, a medical doctor who specializes in treating eating disorders in Austin, Texas, recently wrote an article, entitled, "Ten Things I Wish Physicians Would Know About Eating Disorders."

Inspired by this piece, I've compiled my own list of ten things I wish the public knew about eating disorders:

1) Eating disorders come in all shapes and sizes. You cannot guess if someone has eating disorder by looking at him/her. This goes for body type, race, gender, etc. (Side note: Someone who's average weight or heavy could have a restrictive eating disorder - and not the binge/compulsive/emotional eating disorder you might think - don't assume behaviors based on size.)

2) An eating disorder is not a desirable condition of glamour or restraint. It is a mental illness in which a disorder takes control of a person's thoughts, emotions, behaviors - and life.

3) Eating disorders are not about vanity or simply the internalization of society's thin ideal. Yes, our culture's thin ideal can play a big part in triggering an eating disorder (which is why I fight so hard against it), but there are other factors (genetic and constitutional) that increase susceptibility to eating disorders. The thin ideal also plays an unfortunate backdrop for eating disorder recovery - another reason I work so hard to challenge it.

4) There are other ways to purge (in bulimia nervosa) outside of vomiting. Some patients abuse laxatives, diuretics, enemas, or engage in excessive exercise - and some compensate for binges by significantly restricting their food outside of the binges - all can constitute bulimia.

5) There are evidence-based treatment approaches for eating disorders. These are treatment modalities that have been proven effective in research studies. Such treatments include cognitive behavioral therapy, family- based treatment, and dialectical behavior therapy. Seek out providers who practice evidence-based treatment.

6) Along these lines, seek out providers who are licensed professionals and who have experience and expertise in eating disorders. Life coaches, health coaches, personal trainers, etc. are not equipped to deal with serious psychiatric disorders.

7) Diets, including juicing, cleansing, and other plans, are not recommended for the treatment of eating disorders. Cutting out specific foods or food groups is contraindicated for eating disorder recovery. Same goes for 12-step programs that prescribe diets or similarly limit food intake.

8) School practices, such as BMI reporting and class weight-loss or calorie-counting assignments, can trigger pathology in those who are susceptible.

9) Disordered eating can be painful and self-destructive, even if it never shifts into a full-blown disorder. Let's take disordered eating and other eating disorders (besides the most talked about) seriously.

10) It is possible to recover from an eating disorder. The sooner someone gets treatment, the better the chances at full recovery. Recovery, though, is not linear, nor something to perfect. It might be a long and windy road, and life can happen along the way.

You can find Does Every Woman Have an Eating Disorder? Challenging Our Nation's Fixation with Food and Weight on Amazon (as a paperback and Kindle) and at BarnesandNoble.com. 

Freedom Is. . .

Inspired by Independence Day - what does freedom from food and body concerns look like to you? Feel free to add to my list of 20. . . .

1. Allowing yourself to eat when you're hungry.
2. Allowing yourself to stop when you're full.
3. Recognizing these functions are a work in progress.
4. Saying "yes" to a variety of foods, including those that used to be off-limits.
5. Prioritizing food flexibility as a goal.
6. Ignoring the latest diet trends (including _______-free, juicing, cleansing, etc.), recognizing they do more harm than good.
7. Giving yourself permission to make mistakes.
8. Learning from setbacks.
9. Exercising when you feel healthy and capable but not when you're sick or tired.
10. Learning to appreciate the benefits of movement when it isn't tied to a specific weight goal.
11. Tossing clothing that no longer fits without any self-reproach.
12. Treating your body well, despite the fact that it might not be your ideal body.
13. Saying "yes" to people and opportunities, despite how you feel about your body.
14. "Zooming out" from fixations on weight and shape - regarding yourself and others.
15. Finding a life purpose greater than maintaining a particular weight or size.
16. Refraining from comparisons - your body may need more or less food than someone else's and it may also be naturally bigger or smaller than someone else's. 
17. Ditching the scale, the measuring tape, the skinny jeans, the mirror, or any other external means of tearing down or validating yourself. 
18. Building yourself up due to other attributes outside of your weight and shape.
19. Surrounding yourself with people who also want to be free.
20. Accepting where you are, wherever you are, while recognizing you are still capable of growth and change.

You can find Does Every Woman Have an Eating Disorder? Challenging Our Nation's Fixation with Food and Weight on Amazon (as a paperback and Kindle) and at BarnesandNoble.com. 

BMI Report Cards Fail Professional Support

Recently, the Academy for Eating Disorders (AED) issued a position statement on Body Mass Index (BMI)/weight reporting in New York City Public Schools. The grade? Big fail.

The AED opposes BMI report cards, referred to as "Fitnessgrams," in New York City on several grounds. According to their press release, “Although the New York Department of Education reports the belief that providing information about students’ weight and BMI to be beneficial in ‘helping students set personal goals’ and developing a healthy lifestyle, experts in eating disorders and body image strongly disagree.

Why do health professionals oppose BMI reporting practices? 

First, BMI is not an accurate measure of body composition. BMI can be influenced by a host of factors, beyond body fat, including musculature and frame. Second, weight is not a proxy for fitness. There are kids (and adults) who are thin and unhealthy and others who are heavier but in good health. We need to disentangle these concepts. Third, BMI reporting highlights our culture’s thin ideal, which can contribute to the development of disordered eating and weight-related bullying. 

A number of states and school districts have similarly tracked students' weight, including schools in Arkansas, Pennsylvania, Florida, Tennessee, Wyoming, Massachusetts, and Illinois. In some schools, parents are able to opt out of their children being weighed.

Parents who are informed of their child's overweight/obese weight status, as many are given current statistics, may run the risk of implementing misguided dietary practices, without professional advice. Kids, too, may decide to restrict their diets based on these reports. Such dieting practices can contribute, with the right set of genetic and constitutional factors, to the development of an eating disorder. 

If students are issued their BMI report cards publicly, the climate is ripe for unhealthy comparisons, fat-shaming, and weight-related bullying. Weight screening programs can increase body dissatisfaction in a world where fat is out and thin is in. For children and teens who are obese, this may compound the experience of stigma and shame already associated with their weight. They are likely to feel judged, labeled, and blamed.

If your child's school district has implemented BMI reporting, consider these tactics:

• Opt out if you can and leave health discussion about your child to medical professionals.
• Discuss the negative impact of such practices on children with the school's (and district's) administrations.
• If age appropriate, have a discussion with your child on the limited information weight provides.
• Focus on a balanced diet and sufficient activity at home – these behaviors are more important than weight.
• Encouraged acceptance of different shapes and sizes - as psychotherapist Kathy Kater's book states, "Real Kids Come in All Sizes."

My book, Does Every Woman Have an Eating Disorder? Challenging Our Nation's Fixation with Food and Weight is now on Amazon as a paperback and Kindle and at BarnesandNoble.com. Enjoy!

Why I Blog

Eight years ago, when I started this blog, I ventured to write a book about the toxic culture of disordered eating, exposing the normalization of eating problems and body dissatisfaction.

Has this culture improved in almost a decade of writing?

Not so much.

In fact, recent research has alarmed us to the dangers of social media (including blogging) in promoting eating disorders and a more general disordered mentality. We've learned that exposure to Facebook; certain Twitter hashtags; and images on Pinterest, Instagram, and blogs can trigger pathology in those who are predisposed. Terms like "pro-ana," "thinspo," "fitspo," "thigh gap," and "food porn" have become part of our vernacular.

Social media sites can challenge those with clinical eating disorders due to the sites'  promotion of the the thin ideal. Users are posting only the best, most flattering pictures of themselves, raising the bar for beauty/appearance. Those with eating disorders then compare themselves against others' best (edited?) selves. Technology presents us with a virtually infinite comparison group.

Plus, social media feeds often read like diet directives. Those we connect with online post often on their weight loss victories, their marathon training, the cleanses, diets, and juicing they're trying - all of this can be triggering for those susceptible to disordered eating. Moreover, many sites run advertising promoting the thin ideal, which can further body dissatisfaction. Ads pop up on users' feeds (and sidebars) for diet plans, exercise programs, "fitspo" images, all of which can reinforce unhealthy ideas about food and weight.

But social media can also be an incredible ally for recovery, growth, and change. And that is why I blog.

At the International Conference of Eating Disorders in March of this year, Australian health psychologist, Phillipa Diedrichs stated that through our use of social media, "We become the media." When we speak of all the evils of the media with regard to eating and body image disturbances, we must recognize that there are powerful counterculture voices in the mix, louder than ever before.

So, how exactly are we positively impacting the world around us? Here are a few examples:

• When lingerie store La Perla featured a frighteningly thin mannequin in their Manhattan shop, a Twitter firestorm forced the company to take it down.
• Thierry Lasry's line of "Anorexxxy"sunglasses came under a similar social media attack, despite celebrity endorsements. The result? The designer changed the name of the glasses to "Axxxexxxy."
• Proud2BMe teen ambassador, Benjamin O'Keefe, successfully campaigned to get retailer Abercrombie Fitch to carry plus sizes.
• Two teenagers, Liana Rosenman and Kristina Saffran, founded Project Heal, to increase eating disorder awareness and offer treatment scholarships.
• When Melissa Fabello recently posted a video on youtube (see below) highlighting why she's a body image activist, this hashtag went viral and connected tons of body image warriors around a theme.

I love being part of the exchange of information, the connection of like-minded thinkers, and the burgeoning revolution that provides an alternative voice and challenges the thin ideal that has deleterious consequences for some and unfortunate consequences for all.

How can you use social media as friend, rather than foe?

• Recognize if your participation on certain sites is causing you distress and evaluate the pros/cons of continuing to use these sites.
• Create and manage a list of sites, organizations, and people to follow that promote recovery and body positivity (check out my sidebar for my recommendations).
• Learn how to remove triggering advertisements from your sites and consider reporting those that promote pathology.
• Become an activist yourself - the more vocal you are, the better in terms of furthering the movement and bettering your own recovery and relationship with your body.
• If you have children who go online, be sure to monitor them closely and talk to them about how certain websites and images make them feel.  

Are we still swimming upstream when it comes to challenging dangerous media influences on self-esteem? Probably. But now there's a swelling current that carries us.

My book, Does Every Woman Have an Eating Disorder? Challenging Our Nation's Fixation with Food and Weight is now on Amazon as a paperback and Kindle and at BarnesandNoble.com. Enjoy!

Book Giveaway!

Breath and Nourish is giving away a free copy of my book! Only a few hours remain to enter. For the review of my book, and for giveaway details, click here.

Book Announcement!

Why do so many women have problematic relationships with food and their bodies? This is the question my new book, Does Every Woman Have an Eating Disorder? Challenging Our Nation’s Fixation with Food and Weight, addresses. The book was published on June 1 and is based on this blog.

Most women do not suffer from a clinical eating disorder, yet so many have an unhealthy relationship with food and measure their self-worth by their dress size or the number on a scale. From an early age, women are bombarded with messages about what to eat and how their bodies should look. Does Every Woman Have an Eating Disorder? examines our nation’s unhealthy weight obsession and the cultural factors pressuring women to be body-obsessed and proposes a radical alternative: lose the diet, love your body, and eat in peace. In the book, I outline practical steps you can take to feel good about your body at any size.

The response to the book has been overwhelmingly positive:

“Finally, a book that offers hope to the myriad women feeling all alone in their negative obsession with food and body. These women, victims of our culturally thin ideal, can stop blaming themselves and plant the seeds of healing that will lead them toward self-love and acceptance.”

Elyse Resch, MS, RDN, CEDRD, FAND, FADA, nutrition therapist and coauthor of Intuitive Eating

“Goes beyond simply raising awareness . . . Dr. Rosenfeld shares holistic solutions and exercises grounded in concrete psychology that lead the everyday woman to recognize her own biases around food and weight, adopt positive behavioral changes, and ultimately, acquire the personal empowerment we all desperately seek.”

Pia Guerrero, cofounder and editor, Adios Barbie

To read more reviews, click here.

You can order Does Every Woman Have an Eating Disorder? Challenging Our Nation’s Fixation with Food and Weight (Siena Moon Books, ISBN: 978-0-9898518-3-1, $16.95, paperback) at Amazon.com,* BN.com, or through your local bookstore

Thanks for your support!

*also on Kindle

Facebook Ads - Take Back Your Feed

As I blogged about recently, a study earlier this year found that Facebook use was associated with an increased risk for disordered eating. While there are likely multiple pathways associated with this relationship, let's take a critical look at some of the ads that might pop up on your daily Facebook feed. I hope that I get more of these body-negative ads than the general public due to the content I post, but I might be wrong.

Here's one from a site called "Women's Insight" with not much insight at all. The model, pictured doing a leg abduction exercise is said to be ridding herself of "muffin top" belly fat. I'd say wrong exercise, wrong body part, except for the fact that there is no exercise that reduces fat in any part - exercise simply doesn't work that way.

Same deal for this one. No one gets a flat belly through abdominal exercises. And yes, most "regular" fitness instructor do know about crunches.

How about this one? That pesky "female metabolism" is just like a glazed donut shackled to your arm. True, diets don't work, but most women also aren't manacled to a Krispy Kreme. This ad comes from the same folks whose picture of a cellulite "cure" depicts rubbing an unpeeled orange down one's thigh.

And how about this before and after picture? What did she just transform?




And finally, this graphic, which pictures women doing push-ups(?) on top of one another to illustrate the hormone, leptin, can't even get its grammar right.

Facebook ads are misleading and destructive. While most people who read my blog can likely see past the hype, the reality is, many can't - just read the comments from people who are ready and willing to sign on to these products and programs. Even for those of us who aren't so easily swayed, the messages collectively seep into our unconscious minds, further indoctrinating us with the thin ideal and that our bodies, as is, are unacceptable.

Want to inoculate yourself against these harmful messages? Be critical consumers. Hide the ads from your feed (unless you're using them for blogging content, like me). Don't buy (or buy into) what they're selling. And finally, call them out.


p.s. My book is AVAILABLE NOW!!!! on Amazon and Barnes and Noble in paperback and Kindle formats. Check it out, and if you like it, please review on these sites!

WW, Part 2

Years ago, I visited a Weight Watchers meeting to learn more about the program and blogged about it here. An anti-diet proponent, I tried my best to be unbiased, and I walked away from the meeting thinking that as far as diets go, WW wasn't the worst-of-the-worst and that the meeting offered some cognitive behavioral tips and social support.

But still, it's a diet.

And diets can be incredibly damaging, even when they refresh their marketing campaigns and "allow" you things like unlimited fruit and especially when they start bequeathing you extra food allowances earned via exercise.

Recently, I met a woman I'll call Jessie. When Jessie told me that she was on Weight Watchers, my response was a simple, "Why?" To be honest, part of this was because Jessie was someone whom I'd describe as "normal" weight. I asked her from where on her body she planned to lose the weight. "I've already lost 13 pounds," she said, "And I still have a little to go." Okay. Well, the reality is, I would question anyone who told me she was on Weight Watchers, regardless of her size, because I think the diet mentality can create a disordered relationship with food, which ironically for her purpose, can lead to weight-gain over time.

Jessie and I ate brunch at a friend's home. Said friend served a beautiful spread - we each had some frittata, fruit, and a slice of banana bread. Now, here's where it gets interesting. Jessie ate what my friend served her, and then after the fact, told me that she was now going to have to make this a "cheat" day.

"What do you mean?" I asked. "That was a healthy breakfast!" I campaigned.

"I know," she said. "But I don't know how many points it was. And if I can't calculate the points, then I might as well just eat whatever I want the rest of the day and make it my cheat day."

Now, Jessie didn't mean that she planned on eating intuitively the rest of the day. She meant that she was going to overeat -and here's the kicker - not because she had overeaten already (which some people do out of black-and-white thinking) - but because she couldn't calculate the points and had therefore landed herself in Weight Watchers' no-man's land.

For some reason, I tried to protest. "How many points could it have been? I was satisfied but not even full."

"It's the banana bread," she replied. "The banana bread at Starbucks is almost my full-day's point allowance. If I have that, I can't eat much the rest of the day."

That criminal, homemade, small slice of banana bread. . . I was getting nowhere.

Weight Watchers, and other diets, set people up to alternate between periods of restriction and overeating. The rigidity, the rules, and the monumental distance from intuitive eating are all disordered in my mind. That a plan could say "Fine, you had your banana bread, now starve yourself until tomorrow" and call itself a flexible plan and, in any way, designed to promote health, is miles beyond my comprehension.

Want a true Weight Watchers disaster story? Read here how one woman dropped the program and regained a healthy relationship with food.

Now, that's a good plan.

Parenting Healthy Kids

Actress Drew Barrymore was quoted in February's New York magazine: "I wasn't a rebellious kid. Actually, I rebelled with junk food, because my mother was so psychotically healthy that I was like, I'm going to hide Doritos under my bed."

Barrymore's experience isn't unique. A recent article in the New York Times discussed how restricting children's access to foods can backfire, making these forbidden food even more desirable to kids.

And yet, that's what parents continue to do.

In an online parenting community I frequent, one mother expressed concern about her young daughter's eating and burgeoning weight. She noted this daughter ate more than her siblings and was in the 95th percentile for weight.

One responder, who identified as a parent educator, recommended the whole family go on a diet, either Paelo or GAPS, both of which restrict grains/carbs. She noted that her son went from "chunky" to lean on the diet she chose. Other parents applauded this mom's approach.

And of course, I had something to say in response:

Parents' attempts to restrict food can backfire and lead to overeating (same happens when we self-restrict as adults). It's important, as parents, that we focus on health, not weight. Choose foods that are nutritious and get kids moving (not exercising) in a joyful way. Labeling foods as "good" or "bad" can also backfire, as the "bad" foods become more coveted and sought out. Here's a good summary of some positive parenting/eating principles. 

Bodies are naturally diverse, as are our biologies. The attitudes we have about weight in our culture are incredibly damaging and can be transmitted to our kids even without our awareness. True, we don't want our kids bullied for their weight, but it's important that we're building them up at home. If they are eating beyond fullness or they're sedentary, that's important to address. Are they using food to cope or soothe? But if they're eating intuitively and are active, then at some point, we need to accept that bodies come in different shapes and sizes.

Stay tuned for an article version of this post, which will be published soon on a health and wellness site.

Healthline's Best Eating Disorder Blogs of the Year

Check out our new award from Healthline! Thanks to my readers for making this the blog it is.
The other blog awardees are not to be missed - check them out here.

Celebrating International No Diet Day with a Comment on Tabloid Weight Loss

At the supermarket recently, my eye caught this display:

Yes, that's right - four weight loss cover stories, all in a single glance.

We are bombarded on a daily (read: momentary) basis by content like this.

Sometimes, the weight-loss plans these magazines tout as effective aren't even responsible for said weight loss. In a feature in January's US magazine, actress Melissa Joan Hart is interviewed about her post-baby 35-pound weight loss. Hart reports turning to Nutrisystem in order to shed the weight and discusses benefits of the plan.

But, here's the funny part. The article states: "She shed the first 30 pounds before starting the program." So, yes, this Nutrisystem success story and company spokesperson dropped (best-case scenario) only five pounds on the plan. Oops.

These magazines sell content like this because we're buying it. Weight-loss plans and programs are only lucrative because we believe these stories.

We need to get smarter. We need to look at these magazine covers as no different than those featuring stars adopting alien babies. And we need to demand better content, because wouldn't it be a treat to be checking out at the grocery store and see a cover story that celebrates women or actually makes us think?

A Little Less Mindfulness?

There's a movement in the field toward mindful eating, focusing on our meals and attuning to hunger and satiety, pace of eating, etc. As a mindful eater, you might tune into the texture and flavor combinations of certain foods. You might revel in the color palette on the plate before you, or the warmth of a reduction as it first hits your palate. Perhaps you'll focus on the people and process that culminated in the fare in front of you. A move toward mindfulness can promote intuitive eating and reduce inattentive (or dissociative) overeating in those who identify this as a concern, and a likely majority of eaters could benefit from a more mindful approach.

But I think there's a limit to all this mindfulness.

I've heard some people report that they have trouble going out to eat because it interferes with their conscious eating. And sometimes, we're so focused on the need to eat mindfully, that we counter-intuitively forego eating when we're hungry because we're in the middle of something else.

One of Geneen Roth's eating guidelines, for instance, suggest you "Eat without distractions. Distractions include radio, television, newspapers, books, intense or anxiety-producing conversations or music."

While I like Roth's guidelines in general, I think it's possible to cultivate a healthy relationship with food, even if you eat with music or television in the background, or (gasp!) with a book, magazine, newspaper, or your smartphone in front of you. When I used to lead meal process groups at an eating disorder treatment center, we often had music on to accompany our meals. And, with increasing frequency, I eat at my desk with my computer as a backdrop to my meal. Sometimes, I even eat in my car.

There, I said it.

But, this doesn't mean I'm 100% checked out. Conscious eating starts when you decide what to eat and when you plate your food. It means checking in to hunger signals before you begin to eat. And it means checking in with your body for fullness and satiety at times throughout the eating experience. It doesn't mean sitting down at your computer with a Costco-sized meal, checking out, and letting the chips fall where they may. 

Where I differ from many of the mindful eating folks is that I think it can be healthy and flexible to tune out, too, as long as you check back in. Granted, this won't necessarily work for someone early in process of recovery from binge- or emotional eating, but I see it as a goal for most. Perhaps some meals we'll eat mindfully, and some we'll go back and forth. 

Having to eat always with no distractions seems overly rigid to me, the kind of rule that gets people into trouble with food in the first place. To me, fluidity in conscious eating seems more on the mark. It's a commitment to responsibility and pleasure. It allows you to converse with others, to watch your favorite program, or listen to some background music, while enjoying the food in front of you. It allows you to eat at movie theaters, ball games, and on the road. It allows mealtime to be a pleasurable, engaging process that is adaptable and flexible, ultimately aspirational, in my mind, for every disordered eater.

We're Up on Amazon!

Check it out - my book is now available to pre-order!

If you'd like to read what people are saying about the book, take a look.

Reserve your copy here.