Am I Sick Enough?

An idea that's been surfacing recently in my work is, "I don't think I'm sick enough to have an eating disorder" or its cousin, "I didn't think I was sick enough to get help."

If you're wondering if you're sick enough to get help, the answer is yes. If you think that you're not, sick enough, it's a good idea to check this out with a professional. The answer might still be yes.

People will say to me, "I didn't think it was that bad because I was eating." Here's the thing: everyone with eating disorders eats. People who don't eat die.

Or they'll say, "I didn't think I was skinny enough to be sick." Let me be clear with this one - eating disorders come in all shapes and sizes. The severity of the disorder is not determined by weight but by how damaged your body, mind, and spirit are as a result of your behavior and beliefs (which are influenced by diet culture, societal weight stigma, etc.)

If you restrict your food, often go hungry, and don't eat what you want, you're sick enough.

If you dislike your body and this causes you distress, you're sick enough.

If your perceived value is tied to your weight, you're sick enough.

If you think that you need to do something to compensate for what you eat, you're sick enough.

If you think about food much of the day (e.g., beyond meal planning or anticipating some restaurants or foods you like to try, you're sick enough.

If you stare at your body in the mirror in disgust, you're sick enough.

If you don't listen to your body and give it what it needs, you're sick enough.

If you use food to cope or numb or just to get through this difficult world, you're sick enough.

And if you compare yourself to another disordered eater and think, "I'm not sick enough," you're sick enough.

You can find Does Every Woman Have an Eating Disorder? Challenging Our Nation's Fixation with Food and Weight on Amazon (as a paperback and Kindle) and at BarnesandNoble.com. 

3 Things to Do Following a Binge

Let's face it - most people aren't feeling so great after a binge. Whether it's physical discomfort or the mental and emotional experience of guilt, frustration, or self-attack, the moments (or hours) following a binge can be rather unpleasant. But there are some things you can do to reduce your distress, as well as the incidence of future binge episodes.

1) Engage in self-care. What do you need to do to make yourself more comfortable? Would it help to lie down? Change your clothes? Might anything help settle your stomach? Is there something you can do that is emotionally soothing - maybe read a book, draw, or watch a favorite program? This is not the time to berate yourself. All you need to do is give yourself the same care you would a friend who told you she wasn't feeling well.

2) Stay on track with future meals and snacks. There's a tendency to want to restrict future intake following a binge. Some of it might be that you're still feeling full, while a large part might be motivated by trying to compensate for overeating. But doing that will continue the restriction/binge cycle, so committing to your next meal or snack is a big part of recovering from a binge.

3) Get curious. With a non-judgmental, observational approach, examine what some of the factors were that might have contributed to the binge. Did you let yourself get too hungry? Were you consciously (or inadvertently) restricting your intake earlier in the day or week? Were you feeling certain feelings that you wanted to escape? Was there a particular trigger that set off this behavior? Knowing some of the contributing factors for your binge eating can help you plan more effectively for the future. You might start carrying snacks with you so that you never get too hungry. You might work on recognizing challenging emotions as they creep up and find more effective ways of coping with them. Again, conducting a postmortem of the behavior is best done from an investigative, uncritical stance. Also focus on what you did well in this scenario. Despite how challenging an episode might have been, there's usually something you can identify that you did well. Did you tolerate an urge for a period of time (even briefly) before giving in to the feeling? Were you mindful at all during the binge? Did you practice self-compassion after the fact? There's usually something you can identify that is reason to reinforce. Your goal in this step is to learn more about yourself so you can build upon your strengths and continue to address behaviors that don't serve you well.

You can find Does Every Woman Have an Eating Disorder? Challenging Our Nation's Fixation with Food and Weight on Amazon (as a paperback and Kindle) and at BarnesandNoble.com. 

My Dad Couldn’t Understand My Eating Disorder

Guest Post by Rachael Steil

Eating disorders thrive in secrecy. Friends and family members will rarely (if ever) see the dozen empty candy bar wrappers stashed in your trash (perhaps wrapped/hidden in crumpled toilet paper) or find measuring cups lying on the counter. It may take months or years for them to find the scale hidden beneath your bed.

They may never know your struggle until you tell them.

Having to explain your eating disorder to a loved one is probably one of the most difficult tasks to take in the journey to recovery. The biggest lesson I had to learn is that friends and family members simply may not understand–but the goal isn’t to make them walk in your shoes. It’s to feel they will always support you and that even in their confusion, they will understand that having the disorder is just that–a disorder. It’s not a way of living we decide to take on.

The Questions

When I first told my mom about the eating disorder she seemed to continually ask the wrong questions and make the wrong suggestions (“Well let’s step on the scale to see where you’re at!” and, “But did you throw up all your food?”). It’s tough to get off to a good start when someone hasn’t experienced an eating disorder. My dad probably had one of the most difficult times trying to break it apart.

“How can you physically keep stuffing in more and more food?” he asked one night when we had agreed to sit down to talk. “I mean, I get to the point where enough is enough in one meal.”

I sat there trying to figure out how to help my dad understand this. It seemed so obvious to me, but I knew we had different bodies and different lifestyles. I had to help him see how different my mind and body processed food—especially since I had such a warped view of it after all the restriction in my past.

Thus the hour-long conversation went a little like this:

ME: “When you hold back on food for so long–like my two-year restriction–then your body is going to try to make up for it. It’s going to go for the simplest sugars. That’s why many people crave junk food at the end of the day if they don’t eat enough. Your body wants to find the most calorie-dense, simplest form of food so that it can break it down fast and get into the body’s cells. And with an eating disorder–with your body in that desperation mode–you often stuff yourself until you are uncomfortably full, even if it hurts.”

DAD: “But how is that physically possible? When you’re full of food, how can you take any more in? That would feel so uncomfortable.”

ME: “The body will do anything in its power to get the calories, even if it means shutting off your brain to it or overcoming ‘willpower.’ Believe me, your body can do the seemingly impossible to get what it needs–especially when you have forcibly deprived it.”

DAD: *confused silence*

ME: “Do you understand that?”

DAD: “No, not really. Aren’t you full after a meal?”

ME: “I am, most of the time. But some days I feel hungrier than others. That’s when I go back to get another small meal or a snack, according to the meal plan I was given by my dietitian. But I try to wait for a while first.”

DAD: “But where does ‘discipline’ and ‘disorder’ get mixed up? I mean does me eating a whole tub of ice cream qualify as a ‘disorder’? Or is it my lack of discipline?”

I could see his point with this last question, but it made me uncomfortable. I suddenly realized he did not see my case as a disorder at all, but perhaps just something to cover up a lack of discipline. He had not seen the battles raging in my mind, had not felt the emotional guilt during and after every meal.

ME: “I wouldn’t see that as a disorder unless you did it almost every night and felt guilty or out of control about it. If you are living in constant fear of food and fear eating all of that and feel like you can do nothing to stop yourself . . . if it holds you back from living a normal life, I feel like that would qualify as a ‘disorder.’”

Confusion and Building Trust

My dad and I continued to talk in circles late into the night. I hadn’t ever thought it would feel this difficult to explain the eating disorder to him. I had imagined that he would come away enlightened, fully understanding everything I had gone through.

It wasn’t until weeks later that I began to realize the best support I could have from my parents is that they were willing to listen, made an effort to understand through books and speaking to specialists in the area of eating disorders, and accepted that this was a  disorder–that like anorexia on the opposite end of the spectrum where you cannot force someone to “just eat,” you could not force someone with binge eating disorder or bulimia to stop eating “too much.”

Despite the difficulties in understanding, I feel I have grown with one of the greatest support systems I could have ever asked for. I have spent countless hours venting, crying, and explaining my eating disorder to my mom. I repeated myself more times than I can remember, but the repetition–with someone there to listen–was essential in my recovery. I needed to speak, needed to repeat thoughts and feelings for me to come to my own realizations and make changes. If I chose to change, if I made the connections, I was much more willing to make better decisions for my body.

My loved ones listened. They allowed me to speak, encouraged me to get the confusion, loneliness, fear, and isolation out of my frantic mind.

I am my best form of myself now because of my parents and my friends.

Rachael Steil has published several articles in Michigan Runner magazine and regular blogs and advice on her website at www.runninginsilence.com. She has spoken about eating disorders for events at Aquinas College, the Grand Rapids Women’s City Club, the “Go Boldly, Love Your Body” campaign in Grand Rapids, Mindful Counseling GR, and has been interviewed for several websites, radio shows, podcasts, and the Grand Rapids Press. Her debut book Running in Silence: My Drive for Perfection and the Eating Disorder That Fed It was published in 2016.

You can find Does Every Woman Have an Eating Disorder? Challenging Our Nation's Fixation with Food and Weight on Amazon (as a paperback and Kindle) and at BarnesandNoble.com. 

One Word

As the new year approached, I came across a post in an online moms' group that read: "If you could pick a single word as your focus for 2017, what would it be?"

I scrolled through the responses, anticipating overarching goals like "manifestation" or "hope" or "love" only to find that a number of women had chosen their singular focus for the new year to be "thin" or "weight-loss."

Despite the fact that I write about most women having some kind of disordered relationship with food and/or their bodies and that I understand the diet industry's grip on the New Year, I'm still surprised to read that women would prioritize weight-loss above all else. What about happiness? Inner peace? Does the pursuit of thinness trump, or subsume, all? 

Even if your New Year's resolution must involve food or your body, check out Melissa Fabello's list from last year of "50 Body Acceptance New Year Resolutions (That Don’t Involve Dieting!)."

Think of it this way: In 5/10/20 years, when you're looking back on your life, how do you want to have defined this year for yourself? What do you want to have accomplished? Incorporated? Embraced?

So, what's your one word?

You can find Does Every Woman Have an Eating Disorder? Challenging Our Nation's Fixation with Food and Weight on Amazon (as a paperback and Kindle) and at BarnesandNoble.com. 

Can I Get Fries with That?

Recently, I saw a woman wearing a t-shirt that read, "Will Work Out for Fries." Is it only funny because, for so many, it rings true? How many share this food/exercise philosophy?

I'd do a lot for a good order of fries - drive in traffic, wait on a long line, possibly even forsake ketchup - but I don't want to have to exercise to earn my right to eat them.

The moment we start pairing food with physical activity is the moment we take that first step down what could be a slippery slope, a slope toward counting and comparing, obsessing and overdoing, a slope that overlaps with disorder.

How many miles do you have to run to burn off an order of medium fries? Don't learn this! Data like this, especially for certain brains, can be difficult to unlearn.*

Instead, learn how you feel when you run. Notice your state of mind following those laps in the pool. Focus on gratitude for being able-bodied (if you are) and capable of climbing mountains (if you can). Understand what it means to feel strong and accomplished.

This has absolutely nothing to do with an order of fries.


*If you do know the answer, you can still practice uncoupling food and exercise by keeping exercise patterns constant, regardless of spikes in intake.

You can find Does Every Woman Have an Eating Disorder? Challenging Our Nation's Fixation with Food and Weight on Amazon (as a paperback and Kindle) and at BarnesandNoble.com. 

Healthline's 2016 Best Eating Disorder Blogs

I'm a little late to post this, but I wanted to celebrate another blogging win, plus honor a number of other fabulous blogs. If you haven't seen Healthline's 2016 list of "Best Eating Disorder Blogs," check it out here. Congrats to all the winners!

You can find Does Every Woman Have an Eating Disorder? Challenging Our Nation's Fixation with Food and Weight on Amazon (as a paperback and Kindle) and at BarnesandNoble.com. 

Why Eating Disorders and Substance Abuse So Commonly Co-Occur

Curious about the relationship between eating disorders and alcohol/substance misuse? Check out my latest blog for Oliver-Pyatt Centers!


You can find Does Every Woman Have an Eating Disorder? Challenging Our Nation's Fixation with Food and Weight on Amazon (as a paperback and Kindle) and at BarnesandNoble.com. 

Movement Manifesto

It's been just about 20 years since I was first certified as a personal trainer. I was completing my graduate work at the time, and this certification allowed me to teach fitness classes, helping me pay for school. Fast forward 20 years, and I've kept up the certification and acquired a couple of other fitness certificates along the way.

Now, along with my work in therapy, I teach two group cycling classes each week. My rides are challenging but body-positive. We set intentions, I bring in inspirational quotes, we visualize and engage in mindfulness exercises, and there isn't a word ever about calories or weight. I love this marriage of my two interests - how my work in eating disorders and body image can so seamlessly merge with my background in fitness. Sometimes, when my patients who struggle with eating disorders find out that I teach group cycling classes, they respond with discomfort or disbelief. Isn't spinning just a symptom? It can be. But, movement can also be joyful, healthy, and recovery-based. Unfortunately, the fitness industry has corrupted fitness with messages, images, and goals that reek of disorder. Here's the message that I want to share:

~I believe that movement is naturally rewarding, sometimes challenging, and often disordered.

~Pairing movement with the food we eat or with body dislike robs it of its natural joy and value. Physical activity becomes a tool that we use to attack ourselves.

~Capitalizing on motivations like "calories in, calories out" is woefully reductive. Instead, exercise is a health behavior that has a significant, positive impact on our mental health and overall well-being.

~Engaging in physical activity to burn calories, compensate for meals, or lose weight can be toxic, addictive, and can ultimately, create a pathway to disorder.

~Exercise is not punishment, payback, or compensation.

~Let's disentangle food, weight, and exercise, allowing movement to resume its inherently joyful and rewarding place in our lives.

~Let's run and jump and dance because we want to, not because we have to.

~Let's move our bodies, motivated by self-love, not self-attack.

~And let's band together to challenge the stereotypical, limited, and disordered cultural messages we're exposed to regarding physical fitness. Be part of the movement that demands change in this arena.


You can find Does Every Woman Have an Eating Disorder? Challenging Our Nation's Fixation with Food and Weight on Amazon (as a paperback and Kindle) and at BarnesandNoble.com. 

Why Is Everyone a Nutrition Expert?

If you're recovering from an eating disorder, sometimes scrolling through social media can be a recipe for disaster.

I've noticed recently that my Facebook feed is filled with women advertising (on groups I've joined) their multi-level marketing businesses. They're selling shakes, body wraps, and beach body programs, touting their own success and before-and-after pictures as proof.

When I joined a group of local vegetarians, it wasn't long before the posts devolved from restaurant recommendations and meetup opportunities to members' advertisements for boot camps and diet shakes. Why must we conflate a lifestyle choice with a drive to lose weight?

Health and nutrition coaches abound. Pilates instructors are offering pre- and post-natal nutrition coaching. Personal trainers are serving up meal plans and chefs are counseling people on the "psychology of eating."

For those in recovery, the barrage of weight-loss/thin-ideal material is triggering and hard to ignore. For the general population, this practice turns out potentially dangerous misinformation. The fact that nutritional counseling is largely unregulated creates a bunch of pseudo-experts advising on a topic that can have significant negative consequences. Diets don't cause eating disorders, but they can trigger someone who is susceptible. I've had a number of patients through the years report that their symptoms began - or intensified - when they sought out the services of a personal trainer who prescribed them a rigid meal plan.

We need to leave nutrition to the experts, the registered dietitians who have the education, training, and certification to stand behind their recommendations. Even within this group, there can be great variability regarding an understanding of disordered eating, the emotional connection to food, and sensitivity to weight stigma.

Let's educate the public to seek out properly trained individuals on matters of physical and mental health. Nutrition is a science, and while it might be a hobby for some, imposing this hobby on others can have often harmful effects.


You can find Does Every Woman Have an Eating Disorder? Challenging Our Nation's Fixation with Food and Weight on Amazon (as a paperback and Kindle) and at BarnesandNoble.com. 

Fitness at Every Size

Did you hear about The University of Washington's advice for prospective cheerleaders? The infographic, published last week by the university, suggested that coeds show up for tryouts with "curled or straight hair," false eyelashes, and bare midriffs - and created quite a stir in the body image community.

It's clear that the university - and likely not the only one but maybe one of the only to advertise - was looking for a female prototype to populate its squad. Might women of color have a shot? Would women of diverse body types or varying degrees of femininity have any chance of nailing an audition? Unlikely.

While we might take aim at any one of the stereotypically confining pointers they recommend, the one that jumps out most to me is the hint, "Be physically fit, with an athletic physique." What might happen, as I'm sure will be the case, if a woman shows up for tryouts who is physically fit but who doesn't have the "athletic physique" that the squad requires? Might she have a shot to dazzle the captains with her fitness and skill? Doubtful.

What exactly is an "athletic physique," anyway? One word connotes function, the other form. In reality, athleticism has no look. It's possible to be perfectly athletic without sporting the "athletic physique" most of us are brainwashed to prefer.

The Health at Every Size^® movement proposes that healthy behaviors be considered independent of body size. I'd add a special emphasis on fitness, as indices of fitness (e.g., strength, endurance, flexibility) can be accomplished regardless of shape or size. A thin body is not, by definition, fit. 

So, might the cheer captains at the University of Washington take note of a truly athletic woman, who can tumble and jump but who has a bulky midriff? Fat chance.

But, there's a lesson in this for all of us.


You can find Does Every Woman Have an Eating Disorder? Challenging Our Nation's Fixation with Food and Weight on Amazon (as a paperback and Kindle) and at BarnesandNoble.com. 

News Bites

1) Have you heard about the ANGI? Here's their latest:

The Anorexia Nervosa Genetics Initiative (ANGI) will be coming to a close in the following months and we need your help! We are still recruiting individuals with a history of anorexia and individuals without a history of an eating disorder to participate. But hurry, the deadline to participate is June 30, 2016. All that is required is a brief online questionnaire and a blood sample. To make it easier for you, we’ll even send the phlebotomist to wherever you are, nationwide!  

Participants will receive a $25 Amazon gift card to say thanks. We can’t do this important research without you! 

To find out if you are eligible to participate, visit this link and fill out the survey: https://unc.az1.qualtrics.com/SE/?SID=SV_b7KDMDd8SuM1o 

For more information call 1-855-746-2547, email ANGI@unc.edu or visit www.unceatingdisorders.org/angi.

2)  Would you have any interest in an Intervention-style show on eating/body image issues? Here's a blurb from production:

A new documentary style TV program about people with body image issues: We are looking to conduct a 30 minute Skype/FaceTime interview with someone who is currently battling anorexia. The project is in the development stages so the interview would never air/broadcast but will hopefully help us help others. If interested please email us (@jessicamelz@gmail.com) directly. All information will be kept strictly confidential. Thanks so much.

3)  Check out my latest interview on Refinery29 on the snarkiness/gossip around friends with eating disorders.


You can find Does Every Woman Have an Eating Disorder? Challenging Our Nation's Fixation with Food and Weight on Amazon (as a paperback and Kindle) and at BarnesandNoble.com. 

Kick the Scale Interview

Remember my interview with Erin Konheim Mandras?

Well, she also interviewed me! You can check out our conversation here.


You can find Does Every Woman Have an Eating Disorder? Challenging Our Nation's Fixation with Food and Weight on Amazon (as a paperback and Kindle) and at BarnesandNoble.com. 

How Weight Information Can Increase Overeating/Binge Eating - Four Pathways

Recently, I found myself explaining to someone’s mother how encouraging her daughter to weigh herself was exacerbating her eating disorder symptoms (binge eating, in this case). As I did so, it occurred to me that there are four pathways to this relationship. They might seem intuitive, but it helped to spell out the matrix of consequences for this family.

If someone (let’s call her Veronica) steps on the scale and sees a number that’s higher than she anticipated, she might experience distress. For many who struggle with binge eating disorder, food is the most convenient and effective coping mechanism. So, the urge to binge can increase.

If she weighs herself and sees a number that’s higher than predicted, she could also have an urge to restrict her intake in an attempt to suppress her weight. As it typically does, restricted intake will likely result in future binge episodes.

Now, if Veronica steps on the scale and sees a number that “passes the test,” or one that is lower than expected, she could similarly restrict her intake as a way to continue this weight-loss trend. Again, binge eating is a likely consequence.

And if she weighs herself and sees a number that’s equally satisfying, it’s possible she might choose to celebrate by overeating or might feel that she is entitled to eat past fullness as a reward for her success.

Many will endorse one or more of these possibilities as potential outcomes of weighing themselves in early recovery. While some professionals believe that access to weight information in eating disorder treatment is always contraindicated, I think that there are certain benefits to learning this information.

Often, those who struggle with binge eating eat sporadically and infrequently – and avoid certain foods – setting themselves up for future binges. When encouraged to eat more intuitively, they might have fears about excessive weight gain. Witnessing weight trends can provide evidence that a more regular meal plan, which reduces the frequency of binge episodes over time, will not result in significant weight gain. Here, weight information serves as an evidence-based cognitive challenge. But, patients in early recovery might still be triggered by weight information, and it’s important to determine where individuals are in their recovery and to provide space to process and learn from concerns that arise as the result of weight information.

You can find Does Every Woman Have an Eating Disorder? Challenging Our Nation's Fixation with Food and Weight on Amazon (as a paperback and Kindle) and at BarnesandNoble.com. 

Happy Holidays/NEDA Article/Another Award

Guess what? This blog one another award! I'm in great company - be sure to check out the rest of the winners.

Also, I have a new article up for the National Eating Disorder Association (NEDA).

Recovery is possible.

Happy holidays.


You can find Does Every Woman Have an Eating Disorder? Challenging Our Nation's Fixation with Food and Weight on Amazon (as a paperback and Kindle) and at BarnesandNoble.com. 

Interviews in Recovery - A Conversation with Erin Mandras

Recently, I had the opportunity to e-meet Erin Konheim Mandras, ex-athlete/coach and mom of two, who recovered from anorexia. We decided to interview each other for different perspectives on eating disorder recovery. Below is my interview with Erin - enjoy!

SR: What connection, if any, do you see between your athletic participation and the development of your eating disorder?

EM: I believe that my participation in athletics and soccer significantly contributed to the development of my eating disorder. The competitive component, along with pressures to perform and succeed, are all elements that can lead to an unanticipated disorder, such as anorexia. Also, athletes want to be as physically fit as possible, and with a personality that tends to take things to the extreme, exercise can go too far. 

SR: How did you get motivated to recover? 

EM: I became motivated to recover from my eating disorder far before I actually made any changes. Parts of me wanted to get better and feel better at my lowest point, but the act of changing my diet was too scary, and I just didn't know where to start. My psychiatrist and parents offered me an incentive to gain weight­­ which ultimately became my excuse to start turning my behaviors around. Mostly, I did not enjoy the way I felt and how obsessed I had become with food. 

SR: How did you recover? What helped? 

EM: I, first, acknowledged I had a problem. I just needed to be surrounded by a lot of support, therapy, and medication to slowly alter my thoughts and behaviors about food, my diet, and my body image. Then, my parents, with the support of my psychiatrist, offered me an incentive to gain weight. I had a goal and an excuse to start getting better. Once I began slowly introducing food back in my diet, my body wasn't able to comfortably handle and digest it. So I began added foods that I had already been eating, but in larger quantities. Then, I wanted to get rid of anything that was associated with my eating disorder; that brought me back to the feeling of weakness, obsession, and frailty. This included clothing, shoes, food stored in my apartment, soccer equipment, and more. This helped establish a clean slate involving different and new behaviors. With the combination of all of the support I had while having an eating disorder, the will to want to get better, and an incentive to help get me on the right track, I was able to recover. 

SR: What was the most challenging thing about recovery?

EM: The most challenging part of recovery was seeing the number on the scale go up. I knew it was for my best interest and to regain health, but I couldn't bear seeing it increase. I feared it would go up quickly and uncontrollably, so with this fear in mind, increasing my food consumption was also terrifying. What should professionals know about recovery from a patient’s perspective? Professionals should understand that an individual experiencing such a disorder is a person possessing certain qualities; competitiveness, drive, and motivation. Therefore, if you are able to turn "the truck around and re­route it" by using an incentive (something that individual would have a desire to achieve), then that may be a good start. At the same time, a person with an eating disorder needs to be able to acknowledge there is a problem, and a solution; it will just take time, patience, and the same qualities used to get oneself that low, to get healthy again. 

SR: What message do you have for those who are currently struggling with an eating disorder? 

EM: I empathize with those who are currently struggling with the disorder. Though they may believe they are healthy, fine, and highly functioning, it is no way to live life. It consumes your mind, heart, and ability to give your most to yourself, your loved ones, and the world. Even if you are succeeding in your career, family, and social life, think how much more you would have to offer if your life didn't revolve around the pure focus of food, calories, and scale. Life is too short. If you have a problem, seek help. You cannot do it alone. You need all the support you can get. You can do it! 

SR: Any favorite resources (e.g., websites, books) for those in recovery? 

EM: There weren't as many accessible resources twelve years ago as there are now. I wish I had blogs, like yours and mine, readily available while battling and struggling from my eating disorder. If anything, I would have been reassured that I wasn't alone. That is why I will continue writing, speaking, and connecting with those experiencing similar challenges I faced, and continue to face in regards to food, eating disorders, and body image. I urge people to use my blog as a resource, and to feel free to contact me anytime with questions or concerns. I can relate to many people on many different levels!


You can find Does Every Woman Have an Eating Disorder? Challenging Our Nation's Fixation with Food and Weight on Amazon (as a paperback and Kindle) and at BarnesandNoble.com. 

Holidays, Fitness, and Food

Here we are on the cusp of the holiday food season, and the diet/exercise talk has already intensified. On the day before Halloween, that dreaded candy-workout image reappeared on social media - you know, the one that identifies different types of Halloween candy by what types of workouts you'll need to burn them off?

Here's why this type of thinking is dangerous: If you choose the Reece's over the Twix only for calorie count, you're missing out on an opportunity to eat intuitively, to find pleasure and enjoyment from food. To me, it doesn't so much matter if you choose one or the other (or neither or both), but if you're going on calorie count alone, you're ignoring your preference, something that could end up backfiring in the long-run.

Do your kids want candy? Let them eat it. The allure will fade away soon. I like this mom's approach. 

And how about those exercise equivalents? So often, we're positioning exercise as a punishment for something we enjoy. We're robbing movement of its innately reinforcing value and instead suggesting that exercise only exists for the purpose of calorie compensation. But this isn't true! This is a myth that the diet and fitness industries use to lure people to buy products, pills, plans, and memberships. But what if fitness were fun?

For several months now, I've returned to my fitness roots, leading group cyling classes at a local university. I can't tell you how much I enjoy teaching again! I love the opportunity to encourage and inspire students, to lead them through a challenging but manageable course, to appreciate good music together. I love that I'm helping them improve their physical and mental health. 

But my favorite part of returning to teaching is making a small dent in an often disordered industry, one that celebrates unhealthy weight loss, views exercise as punishment for eating, and tries to motivate through self-attack. My classes are about building strength and power, celebrating our capabilities, and mostly, about having fun. I'd rather have students approach me after class and tell me that they enjoyed my music (which they do!) than comment on their calorie burns. It's the joy of movement, and the feelings around it, that sustain a lifelong commitment to physical activity.

So, if you want the Twix, eat the Twix. If you want to exercise, do that, too, But keep these things mentally separate to avoid that slippery slope. 



You can find Does Every Woman Have an Eating Disorder? Challenging Our Nation's Fixation with Food and Weight on Amazon (as a paperback and Kindle) and at BarnesandNoble.com. 

Anna's Law and Eating Disorder Lobby Day

"My insurance is cutting out."

That dreaded sentence professionals fear most.

When I first began doing this work, I was struck by the irony of hoping someone would become more symptomatic so her insurance company would authorize her to get help. . . that someone already receiving care would continue to struggle so that her insurance would keep paying for the care she so desperately needed. Even then, her insurance might cut funds for lack of sufficient progress. It's the Catch-22 of health insurance. Do well and they cut off. Don't do well enough and encounter the same risk. 

I've seen patients denied access to care because they aren't sick enough. I've seen insurance cut out when patients most need support. And I've seen insurance refuse to pay when patients and families are struggling to finance a physically, emotionally, and fiscally debilitating illness.

Something has to change.

The Anna Westin Act of 2015, also known as Anna's Law, was introduced by Kitty Westin, who lost her daughter to anorexia. Kitty's advocacy efforts focus on holding insurance companies accountable for paying for eating disorder care. To learn more about why we need Anna's Law, click here.

Tomorrow marks the final 2015 eating disorder lobby day. If you can't be in Washington this week, you can still do something. Donate, write a letter, contact your state's insurance commissioner when an insurance company refuses to pay. Help a growing movement gain momentum toward the goal of making eating disorder treatment accessible and affordable for all.


You can find Does Every Woman Have an Eating Disorder? Challenging Our Nation's Fixation with Food and Weight on Amazon (as a paperback and Kindle) and at BarnesandNoble.com. 

Enough with the "New Skinny"

"Strong is the new skinny."

"Healthy is the new skinny."

"Curvy is the new skinny."

Everything is the new skinny.

These slogans, presumably constructed to promote body acceptance and offer an alternative to the thin ideal, still posit a common end-goal. We're still striving for some iteration of skinny and continuing to promote thinness as the gold standard of success.

So let's step away from skinny as the solution - and focus on strength, health, curves, or whatever else we value without a tired target diluting our intention.

We don't need another skinny.


You can find Does Every Woman Have an Eating Disorder? Challenging Our Nation's Fixation with Food and Weight on Amazon (as a paperback and Kindle) and at BarnesandNoble.com. 

Misinterpreting Intuitive Eating

As a proponent of intuitive eating, I'm often presented with challenges to the model that seem to misinterpret its basic premise. I've heard some interpret intuitive eating to mean that we're advocating that people eat cake each and every time they're hungry.

But that's really missing the point. Intuitive eating is a flexible practice that encourages you to trust your body - but it encourages you to be mindful of the signals your body is sending before, during, and after you eat.

In her piece, "Why I'm Not an Intuitive Eating Coach," Isabel Foxen Duke offers some additional misconceptions around the practice of intuitive eating. While she's right - that many will turn intuitive eating into a diet - the premise of intuitive eating is based on rejecting the diet mentality, so if you're turning it into a diet, you're not doing intuitive eating. If you're creating rules related to intuitive eating, then you're still interacting with the food police.

Intuitive eating, as discussed by Tribole and Resch, offers a set of 10 practices that are just that - practices. They aren't rules, rigid guidelines, or anything else so structured as to invite rebellion and dissent.

That said, they offer a decent blueprint for developing a healthy relationship with food. Note that only two of the ten practices involve how people normally define intuitive eating - eating when you're hungry and stopping when you're full - "Honor Your Hunger" and "Respect Your Fullness." When someone turns intuitive eating into a diet, she's really ignoring the rest of the principles and overly, rigidly focusing on these two.

What's more, intuitive eating, in my understanding, was developed as a compassionate approach toward healing disordered eating. If people eat past fullness or use food to cope with feelings, they aren't shamed or berated by their counselors; rather, the information is used as a learning opportunity. The spirit is of collaboration and compassion, diametrically opposed to the diet mentality.

Intuitive eating promotes eating for nourishment and pleasure, a balance, which, as a delicate dance, is fluid, evolving, and forgiving.