Monday, December 03, 2007

Tough Love


Likelihood is you already know this, but Jennifer Love Hewitt is fat. At least that's the latest uproar surrounding some recent pictures the paparazzi snapped of her while she vacationed with her new fiance, actor Ross McCall.

Hewitt blogs:
I've sat by in silence for a long time now about the way women's bodies are constantly scrutinized. To set the record straight, I'm not upset for me, but for all of the girls out there that are struggling with their body image. A size 2 is not fat! Nor will it ever be. And being a size 0 doesn't make you beautiful. … To all girls with butts, boobs, hips and a waist, put on a bikini – put it on and stay strong.
Response to her response?

47 comments:

Anonymous said...

"A size 2 is not fat! Nor will it ever be. And being a size 0 doesn't make you beautiful. … To all girls with butts, boobs, hips and a waist, put on a bikini – put it on and stay strong." I love that line as she is completely right. Hopefully she is able to forget the comments and enjoy her engagement.

PalmTreeChick said...

Good for her! She's exactly right!!

Something's gotta be done before every female in this country develops an ED.

Debbie said...

Because even the hint of celelite makes you worthless, right?!? I love her response.

Anonymous said...

Oh my god. She's being called fat at size TWO!?!! We. Have. Gone. Insane.

yadda yadda said...

well...her body acceptance message is pretty much undermined when she insists in the next breath that she is a size 2 and the photos were taken from a bad angle.

she's right, she isn't fat. but she is not a size 2 and that is not a bad angle. i think true body acceptance is more like "yep that's what i look like, and clothing size is too inconsequential to mention."

The Rotund said...

I appreciate her words and they'd make a great rallying cry if I thought she meant them to apply to, you know, fat people.

azusmom said...

I think that by pointing out her size she was trying to call attention to the utter nonsense of it all. After all, if you're considered fat at size 2, what hope is there for the rest of us? As for the angle thing, it's true some photogs will do anything to make sure their photos grab attention. Because they make more money that way. So they will try to make the subject look as bad as possible, in any way they can. (One photographer, who was a the site of Princess Diana's car wreck, complained in a recent interview about how he lost a whole bunch of money on the photos he took after she was pronounced dead. Because no one would run his pictures. Ten years after the fact, this guy is still bitter.)

Femaleclaws said...

Much love for Love! I think this is wonderful - I feel sorry for celebrities because the media has nothing better to do but nitpick them. I think its terrible. Its no wonder some women do that to each other - and even themselves. Its quite sad.

Rose said...

TR, you say you don't THINK her words were meant to apply to fat people. Why? Had she qualified her statement with "But this is only for size 2 fat people, REAL fatties should stop dragging down our nation with their deadly obesity." But she didn't. You response hs the tone of "What does someone who looks like her know about the plight of real fat people anyway?" And since her butt is platered all over the news with the caption "FAT" I think she knows an awful lot about it, actually.

Anonymous said...

I think it's the "and a waist" part of the comment that is the hint she doesn't mean actual fat people. Not that fat people never have waists, of course, but what she seemed to be saying is: don't worry about the unfair/crazy definition of fat, if you're shaped the way you're "supposed" be shaped, go ahead and wear that bikini!

To be fair, though, I don't think she was saying anything particularly ANTI-ActualFatties, either.

yadda yadda said...

i just hate it when anyone makes excuses for his/her appearance, but it's especially annoying when the person is purporting to deliver a body acceptance message.

i am also completely disgusted that anyone calls her fat. i stand by my evaluation that she is not a size 2, and i remain irritated that she added an oblique little comment about size at all (like "who cares about size, oh but i am a tiny size.") baloney, JLH!

but anyone criticizing her body is well, screwed up! it is horrible for people to feel entitled to pathologize someone's body like that. there is absolutely nothing wrong or fat or ugly or too big or too much or ANYTHING about her body. gahhhh!

Rose said...

I think there's a basic misunderstanding here. From some fat people's perspective having a waist indicates a good, womanly figure that many fat woman can't live up to. And so, she mentions having a waist and this gets interpreted as she's not really including fat people.

In Hollywood, having a waist makes you FAT! How's that? Because when you're model of beauty is literally skin and bones having a waist indicates fat parts above and below it.

By those twisted standards Jennifer Love Hewitt is fat. That may seem ridiculous to you but it's still true. Read some of the comments on non-fat acceptance blogs about her. They'll make your skin crawl!

She took a very body-positive approch to her response to the haters and instead of bending over backwards to figure out how she still doesn't support "our kind" maybe some of you should take a better look at why you don't think much of "her kind."

Rose said...

WHO CARES if she's a size 2 or not???!!! Really, I could have that kind of debate on a hater site. She's encouraging woman to love their bodies and wear bikinis and feel good about themselves.

What's not to like?

tori_927 said...

You've got to wonder just what these condescending writers look like. I can guarantee you they're not a size 0 themselves, so who are they to call JLH fat?

Anonymous said...

Yadda Yadda-
your nitpicking about her size is precisely the sort of thing that demolishes the body-image of people who aren't overweight. I visit this blog because I believe in Dr. Stacey's assertion that every woman at least has some very disordered thoughts about food and her body. Regardless of her size.

I happen to be a size 2, and I've seen the photos, and Love's body has a lot of similar curves to mine. To then be told not only by the media that this size is fat, but that you don't believe that this is what this size looks like, wow. There went my self-esteem for the day.

And that's the problem with this whole thing. What size someone wears should not be a value-judgement about that person. So the media can STFU already. And good on Love for telling them so.

Beth said...

Well have you seen the recent pics of her in the black swimsuit? She does look fat. And a size 2 can be fat, for instance, if you're 5'0".

Sarah said...

Beth, you are not serious? So WHAT if she "looks" fat? Your attitude is just feeding into what the press is saying about her.

A size two can be fat? It's no surprise you suffer from an eating disorder with such a negative attitude. No doubt you won't stop until you end up like that Israel model who died last week.

Kiss my 5'4", size 40 ass! How's THAT for size acceptance? My backside is a lot flabbier than hers, but I don't have a problem with it.

Seriously, SCREW YOU. I'm sick of women like you obsessing over your body to reach a "perfection." No doubt an eating disorder starts in the brain - you are the poster child for a screwed-up head.

Marianne said...

There used to be a lot of words to describe feminine bodies. Some were flattering, some impudent, others just neutral or descriptive.

Today?

To be fat or not to be fat: that's the question. The language we use, spoken or in thoughts, always deflects our state of mind. It seems to me that the fat-question isn't about beauty, but what is it actually about? What is it really about when scan starlets through the is-there-any-flab-around glasses? If wobbling fat in any other areas than breasts were only considered to be a version of ugliness, than the headlines that someone -ugh- GAINED or, even worse, became FAT wouldn't anounce the news as if it was something indecent.

Beth's comment is a wonderful example here. I wonder, what is she trying to tell us?

What are your connotations to "being fat"? What does it really mean to you?

Rachael said...

To address the few posts above..
Sure, i guess if youre really short, you could be fat at a size 2, but WHO CARES?
I have also suffered from a severe life threatening eating disorder and the assertion that "no wonder" the lovely lady above me has one is bullshit, given that she was merely playing devils advocate.
Now that being said, I also disagree with her qualifier that if one had seen her pictures they would understand.
Here is the thing... I DONT GIVE A SHIT!
I like her response. I dont care what size she wears@!
And also... telling someone to kiss you size whatever ass simply because they have a differing opinion and an eating disorder is plain offensive....

drstaceyny said...

I asked abt your response to her response because I had mixed feelings. Again, this is what JLH said:

"I've sat by in silence for a long time now about the way women's bodies are constantly scrutinized. To set the record straight, I'm not upset for me, but for all of the girls out there that are struggling with their body image. A size 2 is not fat! Nor will it ever be. And being a size 0 doesn't make you beautiful. … To all girls with butts, boobs, hips and a waist, put on a bikini – put it on and stay strong."

For the record, I'm glad JLH spoke out, and I like her response overall. You all hit on my minor concerns abt what she said. I think it would have been more powerful if she had left out her size (though I can certainly see why she included it--if we're calling a "2" fat, then what?) I also wish she would have omitted the line, "I'm not upset for me. . ." Why shouldn't she be upset by this treatment by the media? And, why shouldn't we ALL be upset (not just those of us who struggle with body image) that there's such a focus on women's bodies and that JLH's vacation pix are this ridiculously noteworthy?

That said, you've raised some other interesting points, about our bodies, how they are scrutinized, the connotation of "fat," etc. Clearly, this really isn't just about JLH, right? Can a Size 2 be fat? I have no idea. My gut reaction is no, but then again, I think size suggests nothing abt body composition. Is she really a Size 2? I don't care. She's certainly (much) thinner than most women. Was she speaking for all fat women? Maybe not. . .

To address Marianne's insightful comment, I posted on this once (check the archives). In this culture, and at this point in time, fat seems to signify all that is wrong with a woman, all that is wrong with her life.

But, instead of fighting this point, we're fighting one another. Please stop. You can share your thoughts and feelings, but please do so with respect. Thanks.

Sarah said...

I agree with Rachael.

How does saying "screw you" and "kiss my ass and" and "no surpise you ahve an eating disorder: and "women like you" diffentiate you from the haters who are going after JLH, Sarah?

Hint: it doesn't. You're behaving the same way they are.

Emily Jolie said...

I knew you would have posted about this, Dr. Stace! As soon as I heard about this yesterday, I thought, ooh, this will make a great post for Dr. Stace!

I saw a picture of her in the black bikini with a caption that read,

We know what you ate last summer, Love - everything!

Oh, I was FURIOUS!! Give her a freakin' break! She is gorgeous and glowing, and she looks to be feeling comfortable in her body, so why can't people just appreciate that? Why is there so much pettiness and scrutiny?? It really quite upsets me. Ironically, the people most critical of women's bodies are typically other women! Have a little compassion, will ya?

I realize, of course, that (many -not all!) women are so hard on themselves that they 'must' be hard on others, also. They cannot accept other women's imperfections, as it would mean, at least in part, accepting their own. Or so I see it.

Anyways, maybe this all has some hidden good, as it's sparking a debate (not just on this blog, but nationwide, if not Western-world-wide), and maybe, just maybe, more people will begin to see how ridiculous it is to devalue women for just being women.

much love to you, Dr. Stace!

~ej

azusmom said...

I went to the gossip website that started this whole thing, and some of the comments are really disturbing. One of the worst, imo, is from a woman who teaches 4th grade (yikes!) while another, very violent one, is from a guy and scared the he** out of me. (I tried to contact TMZ to report the post, but couldn't figure out how.) However, there seemed to be more positive, supportive posts than negative ones.
I'm at a bit of a loss as to what to do. I keep thinking this obsession with womens' bodies, bodies made public property, is eventually going to die down, but it seems to only keep getting worse. What I would LOVE to do is take candid photos of every paparazzo, the entire staff of every gossip magazine, tv show, website, and splatter them all over, with negative comments written underneath. Then open it up for every Joe to give his opinion. Turn the tables. See how they like it. Then get every piece of information from their past and publish it. Tried marajuana? Missed a few child support payments? Stood up your prom date? Good, now EVERYONE will know about it! After all, you make your business in the public eye, why shouldn't you be scrutinized as closely as the people you write about?

MB said...

I LOVE "Love" for fighting back. She is NOT FAT! I don't care if I'm 4 feet tall - I'd still be happy (and NOT FAT) if I were a size 2. The media is really screwed and it is not "entertainment" to see photos of miniscule amounts of cellulite on a lollipop with a head. Oh, it seems like everyone (man and woman) has a disorder. These headlines make me CRAZY!!

zubeldia said...

I can't help be bothered - deeply bothered - by the fact that she included the size 2 remark. It feels like a veiled way to say 'see, I'm not FAT"... and of course she's not fat, but that's hardly the point. The fact that she was reduced to an object to be ridiculed is the point... and I think it says a lot about our culture.

beth - I really hope that you're working on your body-views, which honestly seem very distorted. For sure, she is not skin and bones, but it's important to recognise that being something other than emaciated does not equal fat. Fat is simply a substance - something that we all need. It's just fuel. it doesn't have any essential moral value or aesthetic values.. it's just substance. Please take care of yourself.

Z

Beth said...

Sarah, your ignorance and use of insults towards me just perpetuates the angry, fat person stereotype. Thank you for the example :)

Anonymous said...

Dear Beth,

I think that it is disgusting that you would call Sarah an "angry fat person" stereotype. You know what? You're a stupid bulimic girl stereotype. You have low self esteem and you are taking it out on the wrong people. I seriously hope you receive the mental help that you need.

P.S. I'm 5'3 and 105 pounds and I'm an angry fat person. I'd rather be that stereotype than yours.

PalmTreeChick said...

I'm 5 feet and a size two. What does that mean for me?

Anonymous said...

First of all, Palmtreechick - 5 feet and size 2 means that you are a small woman. Hopefully, you eat right and exercise and know that you are beautiful!!

I'm really disappointed that someone would come to this blog and write that a size 2 is fat for someone who is 5 feet tall. That is NOT true. It's that kind of thinking that gets women in the ED cycles!! In fact, a woman who is 5 feet tall can probably be up to a size 8 and still not be "fat" - or maybe even bigger! I don't know! And who cares if she's bigger than Posh spice if she's healthy and happy???

As a recovering anorexic/bulimic, I really don't appreciate that sort of disordered thinking at some place that I consider a safe space.

Beth said...

You know what, anonymous? I wasn't attacking anybody! I simply stated my opinion that she looked fat in the pics or that a size two can be fat. It's a matter of perception. You're not going to hurt me by calling me a stupid bulimic stereotype. I KNOW I'm bulimic, and thank you for reading my blog, sweetie, but I don't feel threatened by anonymous posters! I have just as much right to post here as anyone else, and you're close-minded for claiming otherwise.

Rachael said...

and enter society...

People are insulting eachother based on weight and food.

*eyeroll*

Can we escape it? Is there not something more important or that really matters deep in your soul? If you were not focusing on bodies and weight, what would you be saying to eachother?
What is this really about?

Personally...
and I recognize this is TOTALLY just me..

If I were saying she wasnt fat, I would be imposing a political part of myself on her body...
If I were saying she was fat, I would be imposing my eating disorder clouded, societally disenhanced lenses...
Either way, Im imposing a lens on it.

If I werent talking about her body and my perceptions of it, I might tell you that Im scared that my body isnt good enough... that I cant live up... that maybe as a recovered/in recovery woman I still partially want to, but know that I cant and that makes me feel both sad and not good enough. I might tell you that the state of the world scares me and I dont know what else I can do besides what I already do. I might tell you that I dont give a shit about Jloves body, but I really dont like her as an artist... I would like her if she gained 500 lbs and I would like her if she lost it either...
My opinion of her has nothin to do with her body.

Anyway...
I suppose that is my *welcome* to the fact that people are arguing based on body size

Beth said...

Rachael, you make more sense than I or anyone who has posted on this page. I think it is a matter of perception, but chooing to say fat or not fat is completely subjective, ridiculous, and of course people are going to have different opinions. I absolutely love your point of view.

cggirl said...

You know, beth, I also agree with Zubeldia's post.

And I must say, for me, personally, it's always kind of upsetting to read the posts of eating disordered people that do not acknowledge in the post that their view is distorted by their disorder.
(Of course many people don't see themselves as disordered, but I gather that you do see that you have a problem and are working toward recovery. If so, good for you! Perhaps precisely because of that you will start to see things differently, eventually. And maybe you will look back on some of your posts and see them in a new light.)

It's upsetting and frustrating in so many ways to read such comments. Of course you and other commenters whose posts upset me have every right to comment, and I have every right not to visit the blog so much anymore - which I don't.
I just thought it might interest you to know how it feels to other people to read your words in a place where they don't expect that kind of attitude. Everything you put out there might either help or hurt someone else...

In any case, I wish you luck and hope you get better soon.

And to the Sarah who got so upset, and anyone else who got upset, I'd recommend just politely staying away a bit more, and sticking more closely to sites like kateharding.net and the like, where the person in charge of the blog openly states that diet talk or anything that goes against the "health at every size" movement is not welcome.
Cuz even if you considered this site a "safe place", it's really not. It's Dr. Stacey's site where, from what I can see, she explores lots of different points of view and does research for her book, so she has to leave it open to everyone's opinions, not just the ones that would feel "safe" to someone trying to escape the clutches of disordered tihnking and behaviors.

cggirl said...

Ah tho I must point out, I do still visit the blog, I just meant I hadn't read the comments in a long time.

And actually it is a "safe place" if ur reading dr stacey's posts, it's just that nobody can promise you that "safety" in all the comments because people will comment as they wish - that's the whole approach here, take it or leave it.

shay said...

I have a new "girl crush" on JLH! GO GIRL.

As to everyone who says she's not a size two. I bet she is. Have you gone out and tried on clothes lately? The sizes are crazy. I'm 5'5" and weigh 135 and yes I have size 2's in my drawer. (I also have size 4, 6, and 8)I know they're playin' with my head cuz I really haven't changed size that much while my clothing sizes are steadily falling. Love the "fashion sizing" and not fooled at all by it.

Thanks for posting this btw. I think people are crazy to call her fat. I think she may have a word with her stylist though. That suit was totally ugly! and not at all flattering to her very pretty figure.

a lurker said...

This is what she said:

"I've sat by in silence for a long time now about the way women's bodies are constantly scrutinized. To set the record straight, I'm not upset for me, but for all of the girls out there that are struggling with their body image. A size 2 is not fat! Nor will it ever be. And being a size 0 doesn't make you beautiful. … To all girls with butts, boobs, hips and a waist, put on a bikini – put it on and stay strong."

She didn't say SHE is a size 2. She talked about all the girls who are struggling, then said "a size 2 is not fat!" I think that could reasonably be interpreted as her telling that to the struggling girls (some of whom are size 2's and still struggling) she addressed in the previous sentence. Ditto her remark about being a size 0. I don't think either of those was necessarily intended as a reference to her own size.

Sorry if I'm over-thinking it, but I just thought I'd put that out there.

And I think she rocks!

Myriam said...

I only read part way down, but I just feel like it deserves mention: she doesn't claim to be a size 2. She says that a size 2 is not fat, not that is and thus isn't fat. Not that it really matters anyways. She is beautiful and strong. :)

beautiful1107 said...

What's wrong with being a size 2 and proud of it? a size 2 is not fat and shouldn't be considered so. bUt it seem from a lot of these posts that some girls feel that a size 2 is too small and girls that are that small should gain weight. I'm very proude to be a size 3 (jeans don't usually come in a 2) because i feel that i look good. A year ago i was in a size 1 to 3 and about 20lbs lighter i got a lot of crap form my friends about it. now that i'm no longer a 1 but still a 3 and 120 i'm still getting crap because a 3 is still too small. How heavy doea a girl ahve to be before every one is happy. Why can't we be healthy and be a size 2 or 3 at the same time?

cggirl said...

beautiful1107 - i don't think anyone here said there was anything wrong with being a size 2.
and i don't think anyone here would think there is anything wrong with ur at your size.

i'm not sure how someone could read this blog and get that idea... maybe there are some posts i missed.

i guess some of us just thought it'd be even cooler if our culture didn't think it was that important to be thin, that's all. doesn't mean it's bad to be thin, just that there is no "good" or "bad" size to be.

Haley-O said...

Response? C'mon.... Size 2? Why not admit you're size 4 (at least...)? but, good for her -- her message is good. :)

Erin said...

Well, personally, I did think that she looked fat.

But really, shouldn't the issue be less, "She's not fat!" and more, "Who cares if she's fat or not? And how rude to degrade her on the cover of magazines"?

Aren't we supposed to be interested in her (alleged) acting skills?

Moe said...

I think she actually looks healthier now.

anna said...

ladies, let's be realistic here - this woman is not a size 2 by any means. she has hips, cellulite - like everyone else.
telling people it's ok to have boobs and butt but then shying away from that category herself is kind of low.
she should just own up to her cellulite and proclaim girl power, instead of making a victim out of herself.

polyananielsen said...

She is NOT a size 2. I'm an 8 and much smaller on my ass.

Moe said...

I don't think it matters what size she is or what size is considered fat or not fat. The woman was attacked for having cellulite like it should be some crime. It doesn't make her any less beautiful because she has it. The media (ourselves included) need to be more accepting of different body types and the changes women go through at different periods of our lives.

Anonymous said...

She is in perfect shape. She may actually grow an ass back now. What is it with white america and these grossly malnutritioned stick figure women with bony butts lol. Most of them look like 5 year old boys. You couldn't pay me enough to sleep with most of the women in hollywood. Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jessica Alba, etc. all lost all of their incredible curvature and sex appeal to fit into this disgusting stereotypical anorexic mold. Jennifer Love is beautiful no matter what because she has substance as a woman and she is naturally beautiful. But at her skinniest she like alba were physically unattractive. How can people think paris hilton is attractive for instance? She looks like a lizard with the body of a little boy. If I saw that coming at me in a club I would run. Jennifer you look even better now and remember people only talk trash because their miserable with who they are.

aislinnleondale said...

i have joined your feed and look forward to seeking more of your post.

www.n8fan.net