Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Yeah, They're My Skinny Jeans, MOO-Fah!


Every once in a while, I get a mass-market email from someone who's clearly never read my blog. For instance, right in time for the New Year's diet surge, I received an email from a media marketing company informing me of a new diet "targeting women's mid-section."

Now, you realize there's a problem with our collective mid-section, don't you?

The message states, "Take a look at more of the amazing details below, thought you'd like them for your blog!" And, I do. . .

The diet consists of several small-er meals a day (no novelty here), with the inclusion of monounsaturated fatty acids at each meal. The diet calls these MUFA's, and even spells out the correct pronunciation ("MOO-fahs") for help.

What struck me beyond this tip, though, was "Cornerstone #2" of the plan. The diet encourages us to use "a mind trick at every meal," such as "arrange cut flowers in a vase and place it on the table where you eat [or] keep your skinny jeans on a hanger in full view."

Now, I'm all for cut flowers, but my skinny jeans on a hanger in full view?

The message is punitive, an ascetic demand that robs us of our power to eat intuitively. Personally, I happen to eat most of my meals at work, at restaurants, or on the run. I can only imagine my skinny jeans hanging from my office bookshelves--imagine the conversation starter there. . . .

16 comments:

PalmTreeChick said...

I have my unitard hanging from the chair across from me at my dinner table. Sometimes I even like to put a head on it and talk to it, when I get lonely. Ha!

WeighttingGame said...

I've heard of WEARING tighter pants at meals to help keep from over-stuffing, but not hanging clothes in plain view. This reminds me of those plastic cows you can buy and put in your fridge and everytime you open it, it moos at you. Because eating is for cows? Yi-yi-yi...

PS Love the fact they told you exactly how to pronounce "MUFA." I mean, you're a doctor and all, but still...

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LG said...

What a great idea. In fact, I'm saving for some fancy underthings, so maybe I'll clip pictures from a catalogue and put them up on my office wall as well for "motivation". I'm sure no one will think I'm crazy.

Sophia said...

i eat my meals wearing S&M gear whilst whipping myself repeatedly.

Sarah said...

hmm. I've been so focused on the punitive images in my head, I hadn't thought of adding external ones.

Good grief!

Sara said...

lg-

You kid, but I read that once in a magazine. It told me to cut out fashion models and magnet them to my fridge as inspiration for looking good in my swimsuit. I wonder if they realized how many pro-ana sites have entire pages of models for thinspiration purposes.

sophia- I lol'd at that one.

nixtress said...

MOO-Fah makes me think of Bad Boys and their WOO-SAH to not be angry.

Dara said...

This made me just laugh out loud. As, I might add, did some of the comments posted in response.

cynth said...

I had to laugh at the moo-fah.

The skinny jeans reminds me of the yoplait yogurt commercial with the "yellow polka dot bikini" hanging on the wall for the woman in the commercial to gaze at while she eats her yogurt.

psychsarah said...

Even the idea of having "skinny jeans" is punitive and sad! How ridiculous!

azusmom said...

How about if we put pictures of the diet "experts" on the wall and fling our food at them? That way we can release anger AND lose weight at the same time (and it makes as much sense as any of the other advice they dole out).

RaisinCookies said...

I'm lucky to even have one clean pair of jeans, let alone a second pair all neatly ironed, laid out and watching me eat.

I would probably hide from those dreaded jeans and hurriedly eat my food in the bathroom.

cggirl said...

omg palmtreechick and sophia that is too funny!!!

PalmTreeChick said...

Glad you enjoyed that, CGgirl. Sophia's was funny!

Kate said...

I just wanted to say thanks for your blog. I really enjoy reading it and it helps a lot!